This remarkable, rare book is no longer for sale, but I’ve been given permission to share its contents here.
This thread is dedicated to everyone, from the States (@Riley_Gaines_ @Martina @SaraGonzalesTX @stclairashley @MattWalshBlog) to across the pond (@Glinner @jk_rowling @DreyfusJames @ThePosieParker @Serena_Partrick) to down under (@salltweets @RitaPanahi @RachaelWongAus) whose efforts to protect women, children, and biological reality have cost them time, money, and reputation. Those efforts have not been wasted. Thank you.
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
😳
Hello, my friend!
Hello to you!
I need to tell you something new!
Hello, good sir!
Hello, I say!
Please tell me why you’re dressed this way!
I’m happy that we’ve met again.
Before, you knew me as a man.
You must not ever call me “sir.”
I am a she! I am a her!
I changed my name! I changed my hair!
I put on ladies’ underwear!
I see your hair. It is a wig.
Your Adam’s apple still looks big.
You are a man, and that is clear.
I do not see a woman here.
I must admit, it’s rather odd
To hear you say you’re now a broad.
I am a woman! Call me ma’am!
You have to call me Ma’am I Am!
I wear a skirt! I wear high heels!
I feel just how a lady feels!
You cannot know how ladies feel.
It is not true. It is not real.
A woman’s more than hair or clothes.
I do not care if you have those.
I am a woman! You can see!
I’ve had expensive surgery!
A surgeon came! He gave me tits!
He changed my junk to lady bits!
My pronouns now are “she” and “her.”
I am a woman! I am sure!
A saline bag is not a breast.
A woman’s more than how you’re dressed.
You are a man. This is a sham.
I will not, cannot, call you ma’am.
I will not, cannot, say a lie.
I wish you well, but now: goodbye!
I made the city change a law
To let me use the women’s spa
But now I do not want to go!
It is your fault, I’ll have you know!
You have been mean! You have been rude!
You’ve put me in a sour mood!
I am so mad! I feel such stress!
I think I may have PMS!
You have no uterus, so no:
You cannot bleed from down below.
I do not like your padded bra!
You should not use the women's spa!
You tell me you had surgery;
Your pronouns still are "him" and "he."
Your chromosomes are X and Y.
That means you'll always be a guy.
You gave yourself a girly name.
I do not care. You're not a dame.
A surgeon chopped your eggs and ham?
I still won't call you Ma'am I Am.
Police! Police! It is not fair!
You must arrest that person there!
His hateful speech has frightened me!
He made me sad! He called me "he"!
Now come with us for being bad.
You should not make this lady sad.
To jail with you, and there you'll stay
Until you change the words you say.
I will not change them! I refuse!
A woman's more than clothes or shoes!
The DNA in every cell
Is how a scientist can tell!
You cannot force me to agree
Because he's taking HRT!
You cannot force me to comply!
I will not, cannot, say a lie!
A woman's more than how you feel!
It is not true! It is not real!
To jail with you! That's quite enough!
You must not say such awful stuff!
You should have called this lady "ma'am"!
We're very sorry, Ma'am I Am.
Because he did not call you "she"
We'll lock him up and lose the key.
At last that horrid man is gone!
I think I'll hit the nail salon!
And then I'll buy athletic shorts.
I think I could be good at sports!
I may be getting fat and old
But still, I bet I win the gold!
I'll beat those girls! I know I can!
I'm bigger!
Stronger!
I'm a man!
Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this troubling cautionary tale about the dangers of illegal transphobia, please share!
UPDATE
500K+ views! Wow! Good news and bad news…
Bad news: this post’s popularity has driven the famously reclusive Chet Festive even deeper into his labyrinthine underground complex.
Good news: he’s agreed to make the print files available for someone who wants to publish this book on a large scale.
DMs open @theblaze @glennbeck @TyCardon @SethDillon @TheBabylonBee @JeremyDBoreing @michaeljknowles @MattWalshBlog @SEENPublishing @BraveBooksUS @canonpress!
Hi, @elonmusk! Chet Festive asked me to pass on his thanks for creating a platform where content like this can exist without censorship or reprisal.
He thinks you’d really like the book, too!
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