Thread by @cindygallop

OK folks, hold onto your hats - here we go, with my annual live-tweeting of my reading of @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue. What do we think we'll find this year? I'm guessing, what we find every year: #carefullycalibrateddiversity, lack of age/body diversity, appalling waste of celebrities, every ad looking pretty much the same as every other ad. Let's see, shall we? 🙂

Let's start with the cover. Obviously, when @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue decided on @blakelively as the cover, they had no idea she would be as much a part of The Discourse as she currently is. Separate to that, I continue to want to see cover women who aren't models or actresses, but powerful real world personalities

Occupying the prime @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue inside cover/first DPS slots: @RalphLauren. As I say each year about RL, if you like this kind of thing, this is the kind of thing you like. The clothes are unremarkable, and the use of black and white makes them even more so.

Oh, Miuccia. @Prada is that rare fashion brand with a consistently original, innovative design philosophy - so why do the clothes here look so boring? Note #carefullycalibrateddiversity, favoring Black models. But how many Black people are there in the leadership ranks at Prada? Per 'nothing about us without us' - don't show diversity your company doesn't contain #SeptemberIssue @condenast @voguemagazine

The first of what I'm sure is going to be many examples of a waste of extremely highly-paid celebrity usage. @Dior, why would you not do something much more interesting with @rosalia? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@LouisVuitton, you've been relying on trunks for far too long now. Why not do something more innovative with them? Why not do something more innovative, period? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@chanel, why would you feature such boring outfits? Yes, we know your leadership is in turmoil, but that's no excuse. The Parisian setting is unimaginative, the clothes are uninspiring. (Also, note the perennial gutter issue with the first DPS.) @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Oh, @Gucci. Boring boring boring. Your advertising heyday was @TomFord (the security camera campaign is still one of my faves). I will say, I do like these outfits - I would totally wear that green shorts suit. But note the 'by David Sims'. Why does every brand fall back on the big names, versus wanting to be the one to discover the photographic talent of the future? There are a handful of predominantly white men (and @annieleibovitz) making ALL the money, while young photographers struggle to get noticed and get bookings @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

More celebrity wastage. @MileyCyrus could do a lot more than just look cool, in outfits that look like they could have been designed by anyone (again, black and white doing nothing distinctive here). Imagine instead telling a story like the one in 'Flowers' through the FIVE extremely expensive DPSs you booked, @dolcegabbana @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Oh, @TiffanyAndCo. Gotta admit that I hate the term 'storytelling' given its overuse in marketing, but you could be telling such great stories in your advertising, given your heritage as THE brand for love landmark/lifestage celebration @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

The first, but I'm sure not the last, spotting of Cara Delevingne (I really must do a @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue bingo card 😂) Again, Miuccia - @MIUMIUofficial is a brand with a really distinctive design philosophy - fascinated to know why THESE boring outfits were picked for the ads. Also, note the through-line of vaguely hostile, blank model expressions - we'll be seeing a LOT of those

.@Fendi continuing a @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue trend this year that is really puzzling me - whatever happened to, "In our advertising, let's showcase our most striking and innovative outfits, and let's SHOW THEM OFF TO THEIR BEST ADVANTAGE"?!! Yes, these ads seem to be highlighting the (nothing to write home about) handbags, but you can showcase both - clothes AND purses

The first, but again I'm willing to bet not the last, @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue sighting of Kaia Gerber. @omegawatches, any watch is telling a performance story - tell it with real world older women who have their own performance story that can be uniquely yours, not someone whom I'm sure is a lovely young woman, but is a #nepobaby model appearing across a ton of campaigns for a whole bunch of brands

We LOVE Anne Hathaway. She's a brilliant actress and, importantly, a brilliant comedic actress. Why not capitalize on that to inject some FUN into your @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue campaign, @Bulgariofficial? (I could give a whole presentation on the importance of humor in luxury advertising - see GstaadGuy)

More "We're Italian! - and that's about it" advertising from @Ferragamo. Note 'we'll get famous model + famous photographer' substituting for an idea - once again, Juergen Teller makes a huge amount of money while young up and coming photographers can't catch a break @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Again with the waste of an excellent actress whom you've paid a shit-ton of money to, in this case Ana de Armas, across 3 DPSs you've paid a shit-ton of money for, @esteelauder. You need to hire an ad agency - and my consulting services are available 🙂 @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@vancleefarpels relying on their name and product alone @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Bottega Veneta is another brand with a distinctive design philosophy. This DPS isn't doing it justice @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

It's a competitive luxury watch market out there, @chanel. You might want to step up your game on the boring old 'think of a creative reason to buy' approach to advertising @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Watch, over on Instagram, the @marcjacobs video 'Introducing the cast of fall 2024': Then ask yourself if this ad communicates all of that. Love @iamcardib, would love to see advertising that is way more distinctive and characterful for such an enduring and successful brand @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssueinstagram.com/marcjacobs/ree…

You're in trouble, @Burberry. This ad isn't going to get you out of it. An in-depth re-examination of your fundamental brand truths, an ingenious strategic brand repositioning and a highly creative communications approach will. My consultancy services are available @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I suspect @AERIN has, unsurprisingly, been overly influenced by @EsteeLauder's unimaginative, uninventive approach to advertising. There are reasons you hire an ad agency. Separate to giving your advertising an actual idea, another is the power of great copywriting. Which this is very much not. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

There's the faint glimmering of an idea here, @Cartier, that the right external creative partner could take much further, much more effectively for you @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@hermes_paris is that rare luxury brand that is doing extremely well - by having stayed consistently and enduring true to its heritage, principles and design philosophies. They're doing fine without innovating in their advertising - so, fair enough 🙂The cut-up art direction in these ads did make me look twice - to check that there hadn't been a printing error in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue 😂

What's up, @maxmara? Oh, you know. Same old same old @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I'm a @McQueen fan (not that I can afford it 😂) and these clothes are distinctive. This year one @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue trend seems to be B/W photography. Like the creative use of white space in previous issues, it doesn't stand out if everyone's doing it

Chloe is neither providing a distinctive fashion POV nor displaying the clothes to advantage here - but hey, with the future president of the United States choosing you for the ultimate in power dressing, the brand is getting a ton of earned media and awareness elsewhere @VP @KamalaHarris @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I'm relieved to see that @LoroPiana have moved on from last year's @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue creepy AF Glen Luchford campaign, but because I can't shake that memory, this Mario Sorrenti photograph is still giving 'Get Out' vibes

A reminder of last year's @loropiana @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue campaign

And a reminder of my horror when I came across another ad in the same @LoroPiana campaign @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@donnakaran is celebrating its heritage in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue - both in its designs and models. Obviously there's no way the brand could have predicted this, but if ever there was a time to bring back that famous 'Madam President' campaign....

For those who weren't around in/old enough to remember 1992, this was @donnakaran's #InWomenWeTrust campaign shot by Peter Lindbergh @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@swarovski has cornered the market in what they do, so can afford to simply showcase spectacular product @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I'm disappointed, @Nordstrom. In previous years of @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, you've featured a variety of models of age and body diversity, including disabled models. Don't go backwards now

Love @rihanna, and she is an absolute stunner, but again, I would've loved to have seen a woman with so much power and personality bring that to a much more creative J'adore campaign, @Dior @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@MichaelKors with more of the same @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

As a legacy retail brand in deep shit, you need to do a LOT better than this, @saks. Also, I see you couldn't afford to take out your usual large number of DPSs this year..... @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I'm surprised, @Moncler. You're usually, reliably more creative than this @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I'm gonna give @RitzCarlton credit for a clunky but to-be-applauded departure (see what I did there?) from the norm of hospitality advertising @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Oh, @Clinique. If you're going to take this utterly uninspired approach to @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, at least hire a much more inspired copywriter

At last - land! By which I mean, editorial. It's She Who Must Be Obeyed, thanking her mates. No, Anna, Nicolas/Baz/Hugh/Blake's projects are not 'exactly what we need right now'. We need you @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue to celebrate NEW talents in fashion right now

I'm going to take this opportunity to bang a drum I've been banging for years, @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Banging that drum @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Banging... @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Still banging.... @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

OK, last one of this brief detour @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

More celebrity wastage. Why wouldn't you TELL A STORY with @DUALIPA, @YSL? A name like 'Libre' offers so many creative opportunities.... @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

You need to put in the work, @VictoriasSecret. You have a LOT to come back from, and this doesn't indicate you understand that. Devyn Garcia is gorgeous, but if you think this is 'body diversity' you're sadly mistaken. You could also do with some professional copywriting and art direction, because this is a mess @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Ooohhhh....the famous @sarablakely Sneex! Because I'm old 😂these reminded me of 1) back in the 90s when @Tods launched a range of comfortable high-heeled sandals that were genius (I bought a pair in every color and was devastated when I wore them all out and Tods no longer made them), and 2) when @manoloblahnik launched his high-heeled Timberlands. I can't afford these, but look forward to hearing reviews from people who can @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

We've had this conversation before, Maison Francis Kurkdjian. Hire an ad agency. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

There seemed to be something interesting in 'From Munchen To Mars', @MCMTweets. (Although I'm puzzled as to why you didn't use 'Munich' for the US audience.) This ad ain't it, but I was sufficiently intrigued to go to your site as the left hand page encourages me to do - where I could find nothing about what I assumed was some kind of MCM Mars mission?! @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Oh, @KerastaseUSA. You pay all that money for the great Sydney Sweeney, and this is what you do with her? Hire an ad agency and get an idea, great copywriting and brilliant art direction into your campaign, stat @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Amaffi, we've had the conversation before about how you need to hire an ad agency, too. Gotta say, every year I wonder - who is actually buying these fragrances?! (This advertiser is a @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue staple)

INTERMISSION: would you believe we're not even halfway through @condenast @voguemagazine #Septemberissue?! This is a marathon, not a sprint 😂so I'm gonna take a break for lunch + errands, but I'll be back for the second half. In the meantime - these are Vogue's own ads, which I assume they pull in for filler with unbooked pages, but I have to say, I'm astonished Anna let her own ad pages be crafted as poorly as this

I'm back! And if I were the media buyers for @DIESEL @LEVIS @Gap @rag_bone @AGJeans I would NOT be happy about my DPS being lumped together with the competition in what appears to be 'The Denim Section' (first consecutive 4 ads below) @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@AGJeans bringing up the rear in 'The Denim Section' @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

A surprisingly restrained @GUESS ad - by which I mean, low to non-existent on cleavage. I'm not sure this particular brand inconsistency works in their favor - what are you, Guess, if you're not 'the one with all the tits out'? 😂 @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Not Your Daughter's Jeans is a great design principle, @OfficialNYDJ. Please consider doing something much more interesting with it in your advertising - it's such a great opportunity to fly the flag creatively for older women @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue #liveOlder

.@Cucinelli decided to skip the confusing copy this year (look back at the last few years' threads to see why this was a good decision). This is a brand with a fine tradition of hand-crafted quality and a missed storytelling opportunity - I wish they'd hire an ad agency @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Looking at this @LAGOS_Jewelry ad reminds me of that ad industry saying about beer brands - "People drink the advertising." Very few products are distinctive enough to sell on sight - you have to weave a story round them that makes people want to buy, because what they're wearing is the advertising @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

If you were going to go for a fabric close-up, @gabrielahearst, I'm not sure this is the fabric I'd have chosen - bit too much of an 'old couch with stuffing coming out' vibe @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

In amongst this tsunami of ads are small islands of editorial🙂I enjoyed @nellfreuden's reflection on how we allow men to dictate what we wear in our younger years: and Lynn Yaeger's unconventional approach to political dressing: @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssuevogue.com/article/nell-f…
vogue.com/article/my-lif…

I repeat, @Burberry: you're in deep shit. Simply putting Emma Mackey's face on your fragrance ads isn't enough. If you call it 'Goddess' your ads need to radiate 'goddess'. What an absolute gift of a name to get creative with, in a way that will really connect with women! Also, in addition to an actual creative idea, you need a new (much better) copywriter, and a new (much better) art director while you're at it. And a new (much better) product designer to come up with a much more goddess-like bottle, wouldn't go amiss @condenast @voguemagazine #Septemberissue

Same advice as to others, @nexxushair: get an ad agency, an idea, first-rate copywriting and art direction. Otherwise you're wasting the money you spent on a page in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Why Paris? Make it make sense. This is of the school of 'Disparate Elements On One Page'. It doesn't matter how well-known your brand is, @SKECHERSUSA when you spend this much on @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue you want to create an ad that makes your shoes fly off the shelves

.@FreePeople is a fantastic brand name - that could be such a great creative springboard for really inventive advertising, versus the same old youthful models, poses, sullen looks. Call me old-fashioned, but the very name 'FreePeople' suggests happiness should be involved? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I spent a lot more time on this @newbalance ad than your average @condenast @voguemagazine #Septemberissue reader will, trying to figure out what it's saying - the two lines at the bottom on the left seem to be contradictory. Or is the first line the message, and the second line the lawyers? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

We've already seen quite a bit of this, but just warning you all - shit's about to get real @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I honestly hate to see smaller brands who I know must be really stretching to buy a page in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, then doing this to themselves. It's worth the investment in a small
ad agency to be able to run inspiring, engaging creative that SELLS

I do just want to say, that I YEARN to come across an advertising gem in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue - and in previous years, I have, but this year things are particularly bad. I am actually finding doing this extremely depressing. But I'm soldiering on...

This @victoriabeckham fragrance ad feels like it's parodying fragrance ads - and deploying a well-worn tactic: selling to women through the male lens. What the hell is she doing in the third image? Masturbating? That looks incredibly uncomfortable, and doesn't make me want to buy the fragrance, in fact the complete opposite @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I suppose that expression is a change from 'sullen', but she looks like she's in pain, @Balmain - possibly from electrocuting herself somehow with that purse... @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

We already know there's a huge market for @StanleyCup out there, and I'm guessing this @LOVESHACKFANCY collab will be wildly popular, so... fair enough @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I'm a fan of @Tacori because of their commitment to featuring older women in their ads - usually older than this @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

For example:

I knew you couldn't stay away from the heaving bosoms for too long, @GUESS 😂 @condenast @voguemagazine #Septemberissue

.@dooneyandbourke, you're a reputable brand. Please don't waste the money you've spent on a DPS in @condenast @voguemagazine #Septemberissue by handing the creative over to the intern to cobble together

At last - a ray of sunshine in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue! OK, I'm biased, she's my friend, but a) I love 55 y/o Stacy London flying the flag for older women, and b) I love the range she's designed for @QVC, because it's stylish, quirky, and sized for everybody (body diversity in action) 😍Find it here: qvc.com/fashion/by-sta…

You're not yet in a position to be this presumptive, @PolestarCars. Boring, I know, but there does need to be some kind of compelling reason to buy @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Anything featuring Our Goddess Michelle Yeoh gets a free pass from me @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Now we're into the editorial. Anna's friends @condenast @voguemagazine #Septemberissue

I like this feature interviewing eight models and their families in battleground states about what matters to them politically. I'd like it a lot more if I knew that the staff and the leadership of @condenast @voguemagazine reflected the same diversity #SeptemberIssue

Interview with Anna's friend @condenast @voguemagazine #Septemberissue

I'm looking forward to reading these interviews with Annabelle Selldorf and this article on the play 'The Hills of California' @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I'm not going to read this article on the pursuit of 'glass skin' by @lenadunham @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue. To understand why, read @jessicadefino_

At last, in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, a campaign I LOVE, by @hm. I love it because it adopts all the luxury fashion brand tropes - for clothes that are a fraction of the price. H&M is literally undercutting everything we've just seen 😊

You have a really spectacular purse and outfit on Greta Lee on the left, @LoeweOfficial (I would totally wear all of that). Why showcase a relatively boring purse on the right? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

The final ad campaign in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue is @OlaySkin featuring the amazing @itsshacarri. That's a LOT of ad territory to give to one product (3 additional single pages beyond the 4 DPSs below), which suggests to me that @ProcterGamble have a standing commitment and had a bit more trouble filling those pages this year vs previous years' 'Women in STEM' campaign

And the very last ad, the back cover of @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue - I would've tried to come up with something punchier if I were you, @Dior

That's it for another year! Thanks for coming on this wild ride w me 😍Fun fact: in all the years I've been doing this @condenast @voguemagazine have never responded, nor have ANY of the brands I've tagged, except @nordstrom (who replied today) So much for fashion going digital

Four years ago, I gave the fashion industry four key strategic principles with which to reinvent their future, in this @BoF interview with @imranamed: Everything I said then still stands @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue