(🧵) THREAD: Selected comments from the (highly conservative) NEW YORK POST chat during the 2025 Trump Micropenis Parade:
🔻 "I've seen more people at a kindergarten parade"
🔻 "What an epic fail"
🔻 "The UFC is sponsoring federal events now?"
🔻 "Okay this is getting sad now"
More:
🔻 "Criiiiiinge"
🔻 "There is no one there"
🔻 "This is such a boring parade"
🔻 "This parade blows"
🔻 "Live band would've been better"
🔻 "Where are the people?"
🔻 "This is a national embarrassment"
🔻 "Chat is more entertaining than the parade"
More (and yes, these are all real comments):
🔻 "This is kinda boring"
🔻 "SO boring I'm out"
🔻 "This is a hot mess"
🔻 "They're not even marching in sync"
🔻 "This music is horrible"
🔻 "The crowd is so small"
🔻 "They playing the Kidz Bop versions of famous songs"
More:
🔻 "Worst parade ever"
🔻 "They should have let a Black guy pick the music"
🔻 "This music makes no sense lol"
🔻 "Everyone looks bored out of their minds"
🔻 "Even the Trumps look bored"
🔻 "EPIC FAIL"
🔻 "Prepare to ship out to Iran boys"
🔻 "This is like Temu Metallica"
More (the “parade of pans” continues):
🔻 "Womp womp"
🔻 "All the duty-free, lyric-less music is hilarious"
🔻 "BOOOOOOOOOOORING"
🔻 "I hope you like guitar solos"
🔻 "Stands are not full"
🔻 "This is like something out of South Park"
🔻 "Embarrassing to our country"
More:
🔻 "THE SOLDIERS AREN'T THRILLED TO BE THERE"
🔻 "Trump is actually dumb enough to think this is impressive"
🔻 "I kinda feel bad for the soldiers"
🔻 "EVERYONE LOOKS MISERABLE"
🔻 "Notice they change notes in every song to avoid lawsuits"
🔻 "Production disaster"
More:
🔻 "Why only one clown?"
🔻 "The POOR SOLDIERS"
🔻 "PARADE DISASTER"
🔻 "THIS IS SUCH AN EPIC FAIL FOR OUR AMAZING SOLDIERS"
🔻 "this is really lame guys"
🔻 "embarrassing"
🔻 "Looks empty"
🔻 "Probably like 2K ppl there"
Additional Notes: The parade began with a launch video so cringe I can’t even properly summarize its vibe here. Suffice to say it began with a Trump aide speaking and in his first sentence he introduced three Revolutionary War locations. One (Concord) he flat-out mispronounced...
More Notes: ...and another he misidentified (he gushed about a fight “on Bunker Hill” that even casual history buffs know happened on Breed’s Hill). Whatever the opposite of “infectious energy” is, that’s what this guy had. I’m told he later mispronounced “cavalry” several times.
More Notes: The horrid muzak being played was so nauseating, so anonymous, so filled with guitar solos, so close to a song you’d recognize but never quite there—intentional, due to a fear of lawsuits—that my favorite comment in the New York Post chat was this: “main menu vibes.”
PS/ Folks, this didn't even *look* like a parade is supposed to look. Whoever planned this may actually have never seen a parade.
I mean, what the hell is this (below)? This was the *middle of the parade*. And everything was being driven *so slowly* to drag the whole parade out.
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