Since this US administration’s agenda of insulting Europe has now reached the topic of food, with the US Secretary of the Treasury claiming he would “rather eat bugs” than Swiss food, I decided to revisit and expand my list of US food so unsafe most of Europe had to ban it.🧵
US Instant Mashed Potatoes
Stuffed with enough BHA and BHT preservatives to give the product an expiration date of absolutely never, most of Europe has outright banned the product, depriving Europeans from what is otherwise a cheap and convenient way to encourage hairloss.
US Pork
Because American pigs are often fed large amounts of ractopamine, a drug that does wonders in increasing muscle growth in pigs and cancer in humans, the EU has deemed the product unsafe and banned it, seemingly without much concern for the profits of US oligarchs.
US Chicken Meat
The American habit of bathing chicken meat in chlorine, a very safe and cheap practice legal in the US, led most of Europe to ban US chicken meat and treat it basically like a chemical weapon that has a high likelyhood of helping one develop superpowers.
US Frozen Dinners
Containing a totally safe chemical also widely used to bleach plastic, the wide variety of US frozen dinners have been deemed as unsafe for human and animal consumption in the EU, a widely unpopular move among Europeans looking for a quick way to get cancer.
US Chocolate Milk
Following several studies that have found the product to really help in never seeing what life beyond 50 looks like, or at least not remembering it for long given it seems to also cause Alzheimer's, the EU banned this otherwise delicious US product.
US Apples
Known to otherwise keep the doctors away, thanks to the diphenylamine they are sprayed with consuming US apples is a great way to make sure you will end up seeing multiple confused doctors and has been banned from sale in the European Union and most of the world.
US Froot Loops
Stuffed with a mix of the unsafest food colorings known to man, from the ones suspected to be linked to DNA damage to the ones known to cause neurobehavioral issues in children, most of Europe banned the product and nearly everything this product is made out of.
US Bleached Flour
With white flour not being white enough apparently, some US producers routinely treat it with chlorine gas or benzoyl, leading most of Europe to straight up ban the thing, somewhat unfairly depriving Europeans from a quick and easy way to get diabetes.
US Milk
Now the newest obsession of the US Secretary of Pestilence, US milk cannot legally be sold in the EU due to US farmers being known on occasion to spike the food of their cows with a mix of hormones, in a bid to squeeze out a few extra drops of milk and profit off them.
US Fake Blueberries
Banned in the EU but found in nearly every US product claiming to have actual blueberries in it, the fake blueberries get their blue from a totally safe and tasty petroleum derived dye, one highly recommended for those looking to grow a third arm.
While amounting to about a quarter of the world’s GDP, in part but not limited to everything listed above, the United States of America can barely provide its population with a life expectancy comparable to that of Albania, arguably Europe’s poorest country.
🧵/end
Share this Scrolly Tale with your friends.
A Scrolly Tale is a new way to read Twitter threads with a more visually immersive experience.
Discover more beautiful Scrolly Tales like this.