Much like JD Vance, Elon Musk and Bob, the Nascar fan from Alabama with some really strong opinions about European integration, I too have asked myself the age old question: "what has the EU ever done for us?" and decided to have a look at some of the latest countries to join.🧵 Since tragically joining the union in 2004, Poland has barely even managed to quadruple its GDP and start what is routinely reffered to as "The Polish Golden Age", likely an achivement completely unrelated to the quarter of a trillion dollars worth of EU funds it received.

There are, in fact, quite a number of Westerners who have escaped the "unelected EU bureaucracy" over the past four years to embrace true liberty in Russia, and I took it upon myself to document their stories.

Welcome to "Vatnik FAFO Stories", the definitive edition!🧵 A Vatnik's Guide to the Galaxy

In May 2023, having had enough of the decadent LGBTQ EU, a Slovak man, whom I shall name Flipper for a very particular reason, decided to deal a severe blow to the Western world by moving to the promised land, Russia.

Sometimes, all it takes for a vatnik to have a change of heart is as little as walking across 5 borders, swimming across a river into Russia, running into FSB, spending some time in the Russian penal system, and getting extradited. This will be a grand epic of FAFO and redemption.

Flipper is a trained musician skilled in playing the cello and piano and composing operas and symphonies, a talent he put to good use by creating timeless pieces of art such as "Long Live Russia" and several "Odes to Putin".

Possibly unaware that Russia has an embassy in Slovakia and is quite happy to legally welcome dumbasses such as him, Flipper made his way across Europe on foot and eventually reached Estonia, where he figured swimming across the half frozen Narva River is his best bet.

Shortly after stepping foot on Russian territory, hypothermic but excited, he took off his floating ring and attempted to impress the FSB agents who picked him up by showing them his pro-Russian songs. Presumably unimpressed, they proceeded to beat him to a pulp. confiscate his phone, accuse him of being a Western spy, and quickly throw him in jail.

He would write in his prison diary, with much surprise: "They arrested me and put me in a cell with 60 people. The toilet was a hole in the ground, like an open sewer. I used to put cotton wool in my ears so that the bugs wouldn't get in, we even had rats in some of the cells and the prison authorities never did anything about it."

Fortunately, Flipper would only spend 2 months in Russia as the Slovakian diplomacy was able to bring their dumb prodigal son back home. Reflecting on his time in the Russian prison, he expressed his empathy for Ukrainian prisoners, believing that they must suffer immensely. He criticized the treatment they receive, describing it as barbaric.

Theres a very long list of US products that cannot be sold in the EU thanks to EU regulations. Since the favorite pastime of the Trump regime and every US oligarch is now to demonize EU regulations, I thought it would be very much worth going through some of those products.🧵 US Instant Mashed Potatoes

Stuffed with enough BHA and BHT preservatives to give the product an expiration date of absolutely never, the EU decided to outright ban the product, depriving Europeans from what is otherwise a cheap and convenient way to encourage hairloss.

36 years ago in the city of Timisoara, a small group gathered in front of a priest's home, lighting candles in protest against his forced relocation.

From that group, a voice will eventually cry out "Down with Ceausescu!", sparking what will become the Romanian Revolution.🧵 Following that cry, the regime's Securitate forces will brutally crack down on the small gathering, beating and arresting everyone present.

In turn, masses of people that had enough and have been brought on the very verge of dispair, begin to flood the streets the next day.

To give MAGA supporters a glimpse of what lies at the end of the road they’ve embarked on, and to provide Russia enthusiasts from all around the world with some ideas for relocation, I present you the third and final edition of my guide to posh Russian cities!🧵 Incorrectly thought of as having been bombed and never repaired, Karabash has just enough heavy metals in its breeze to go along with a romantic evening walk, while a dip in the rather suspiciously fish free orange lake is recommended to those looking to join the X-Men.

Because boycotting American products is the very least we Europeans can do right now to return the favor, here's a thread of US brands to avoid, split up by category for your convenience.🧵 Fashion:

The fugitive pro-Russian mercenary leader Horatiu Potra, his son and his nephew, have all now landed on Romanian territory under heavy armed escort.

Welcome home traitors, you will not enjoy the next part! Horatiu Potra's son:

Hungary, right now, anti-Orban protest: To have something to compare it to, here's the pro-Orban paid march that took place earlier in the day:

https://x.com/NOELreports/status/1981306744484540856

With absurd arson cases again starting to be on the rise in Russia, I compiled a short thread of the funniest and most surreal to take have happened in the past 12 months or so.🧵 In Bryansk, an zealous Z patriot decided to do her bit for the motherland by following the online advice of what she believed to be FSB agents, which instructed her to set fire to a random police car, in order to smoke signal their super secret FSB helicopter patrol mission.

She promptly proceeded to walk towards the nearest police station and patriotically set fire to the police car she judged to be most likely to send the biggest smoke cloud, burning it to a crisp.

There’s a series of polls conducted by Russian pollster Levada last year which, when linked together, I think offer a fairly clear insight into the mysterious Russian soul and why MAGA and lunatics across the world find a kindred spirit in it. 🧵 While apparently a lot of people in Africa still hold somewhat of a positive view of Russia, Russians do not reciprocate that feeling.

Less then 1 in 10 Russians can even conceive having someone from Africa as a family member, neighbor, friend or coworker.

Since its been quite a while since my last one, I figured it is time to do another one of my "News from Romania" threads.

Prepare for some absolutely nonsensical but really funny and very real local news from my country. Enjoy!🧵 Romanian man fell 12 meters into the well he was digging after tying a rope to his leg but securing the other end to absolutely nothing.

With MAGA rediscovering American exceptionalism and thinking Europe to be the underdeveloped backwater, I've decided to do a short thread tackling the most common misconceptions Americans seem to have about Europe.🧵 While "dying out" is one of those things MAGA tends to associate most with Europe, the US currently ranks slightly below Albania in terms of life expectancy, and it must be mentioned Albania ranks rather bad at it among us Europeans.

I've really been struggling to make sense of what the Russians hope to get by flying drones over our airports, as well as various other acts of sabotage.

So, I figured I'd cover what Russia expects to get from it and why I think they're achieving the very opposite of that.🧵 ->Deter European countries from providing aid to Ukraine.

The logic is simple enough and should make for some coercive deterrence. Fly drones over whatever European target happens to be most disrupted by simply having drones flying over to it. Make attempts at acts of sabotage reasonably expected to be discovered yet incredibly costly in terms of investigating and preventing. Repeat until something gives and formally or informally target country "corrects course" when it comes to Ukraine.

Except in practice, thanks to nobody taking Russia's word that they won't be next on the menu and that Russians won't be repeating this process whenever they happen to be mildly annoyed at something you do, it very much tends to achieve the opposite. It terms of solutions, it really makes sure that the only way forward is suffocating Russia economically and helping Ukraine deliver Russia a military defeat.

Because I feel it is important that everyone knows this man's name, here is Mihail Neamtu, member of the Romanian Parliament representing the far-right, pro-Russian AUR party, rhetorically asking himself why Russia doesn't just use nuclear weapons on Ukrainian cities already. Despite the innumerable horrific statements he makes on a regular basis, this man continues to be invited all over Europe and the US at all sorts of conventions and meetings and gatherings, and I think it is time for that to stop and for this man to get the "fame" he deserves.

In about four hours, after more than 300 consecutive days of protests and just as many consecutive days of regime brutality, people from all across Georgia are heading en masse towards the capital city for a demonstration intended to be a peaceful revolution.

Russia can and must be defeated in Georgia! Good luck brave people! The scale and mobilization is incredible to witness:

https://x.com/Mikiashvili_M/status/1974378071106224583

With Putin now claiming that "Western elites are getting rich by scaring you into believing in the mythical Russian threat", I figure it might be worth it to revisit the simple and meager life led by Russia's pro-war elites. 🧵 Quite a fervent supporter of the war he won't die in, Andrei Bokarev is a great Russian patriot which, like all other great Russian patriots, used to drown his sorrows as far away from Russia as possible and dream of Chelyabinsk from his modest $100 million Saint-Tropes cottage.

With about 200 days left before Hungarians head to the polls, I figured it is the perfect time to review Orban's achievements by comparing Hungary to Romania, a comparison that I am sure will hit a cord with Hungarian ultranationalists and Orban fans in and outside Hungary.🧵 Despite having about half of Romania's population, in 2003, shortly after Orban's first term, Hungary had a GDP of $85 bil. while Romania's stood at $57 bil.

Today, after too many Orban years to count, Hungary's GDP is about $220 billion, while Romania's hit $400 bil.

With Russian bots and propagandists again spamming all of the internet with the same three fancy looking places in Moscow and St. Petersburg, I figured it'd be a good time to write a continuation to my travel guide to Russia.

Welcome to vol. 2 of "Posh Russian cities"! Enjoy!🧵 Boasting one of the largest train stations in Russia, very much a necessity given the population's favorite pastime is leaving, Novosibirsk fields enough sinking and tilting buildings to make the skyline look like it was designed by a drunk architect, which it probably was.

The voting process in this very much existential Moldovan election has now ended. The counting process will begin shortly.

I will be posting updates regarding the results in continuation of this post. Feel free to bookmark if interested.🧵 Very much relevant regarding the counting process

https://x.com/Daractenus/status/1972351110225756637

With Moldova on the verge of holding what is likely to be the most consequential election in its history this Sunday, one that might unfortunately see it fall to Russian domination, I figured I'd do a short thread on the history of the place to offer some context.🧵 In 1918, in the aftermath of Russian Empire's chaotic disintegration, Moldova succeeds in putting an end to over a century of brutal Russian occupation and, faced with the prospect of being re-absorbed by the new Russian state, votes for unification with the Kingdom of Romania.

While the political implications of a Russian takeover of Moldova seem to be largely understood, the military threat this poses to Ukraine is largely dismissed. I believe that is not at all the case and we should be quite a lot more concerned about it. 🧵 Currently, Moldova's intelligence service (SIS) applies an extra security filter that, with a lot of effort I might add, turns back anywhere from tens to hundreds of Russian men of fighting age trying to get into Moldova, via air, almost on a daily basis.