We should get some of that.
Some of what?
Pocket Constitution. Just read a few paragraphs and see what happens. #Oregonstandoff
Shit, that's a good idea. One skim of that thing will turn you into something of a goddamn constitutional scholar...
#Oregonstandoff
Your head will swell up like an Oath Keeper... you'll gain about a hundred pounds in two hours...
Great!
#Oregonstandoff
Don holsters... stockpile automatic weapons...
Yes!
#Oregonstandoff
And then you notice a shotgun ammo belt slung over your shoulder.
Fantastic!
#Oregonstandoff
You'll go conspiratorial... your body will turn to blubber... they'll have to put you behind a roadblock...
#Oregonstandoff
...and when you scream for help from the Pacific Patriot Network, you'll sound like a psychotic raccoon.
#Oregonstandoff
Man, I'll try just about anything, but I'd never in hell serve on a Citizens Grand Jury.
#Oregonstandoff
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