Thread by @EmporersNewC

1. Hello, United Kingdom, it’s the United States of America here, and we need to talk.

https://twitter.com/EmporersNewC/status/884474494512975872

2. We understand that you chose to split up with the EU, and we’re cool with it, but we thought we’d tell you how we see it.

3. When you entered the Common Market you negotiated the creation of Regional Funds.

4. In 1979 you began pushing a policy involving further coordination of Foreign Policy in Europe.

5. In 1983 you renegotiated the Common Fisheries Policy.

6. And 1983 was also the year that you were so proud that you had played your part in cementing peace within the European Community.

7. In 1987 you were leading the way in Cap Reform.

8. In 1988 you were excited when you launched the Single Market.

9. In 1991 you secured an agreement that would see community members fined if they did not live up to their responsibilities.

10. In 1992 you set the EU on the route to further expansion.

11. It was also 1992 when you also began to push for the ex-Soviet states’ entrance to the community.

12. In 1997 you pushed for a reform of voting involving the use of QMV in areas that were unanimous before.

13. In 1998 you were instrumental in bringing the WEU defence programme into the EU, and led greater defence collaboration.

14. By 2001 the budget was starting to come down year on year, and it wasn’t the first time.

15. In 2005 you voted to speed up Turkey accession, and by 2010 you were the only country fighting for that.

16. In 2006 you began convinced the EU to adopt energy efficient lightbulbs.

17. By 2010 you had secured some new opt outs.

18. The open voting reform you sought was in place.

19. We were all delighted when you seemed to be taking the mature step of taking control of your destiny.

20. Then one day you said you needed to chat and you met up with the EU to discuss your issues.

21. I was under the impression the EU gave you almost everything you asked for, including additional security measures.

22. Then you went away and announced that you were leaving, which is totally cool, and we respected that.

23. But then you said the EU gave you nothing, and you couldn’t protect your borders.

24. You said it wouldn’t reform, you had lost 76 out of 2466 votes, and it forced you to do things you didn’t want to.

25. The irony that you only knew that because of the reform you got did not escape us in the USA.

26. Largely because that 76 number included votes you didn’t take part in because they were in the area of your opt outs.

27. We thought you were just having a funny 5 minutes, until you said you didn’t have control of the direction the EU was taking.

28. That you don’t like the EU forcing those energy saving lightbulbs on you.

29. That you want to leave the EU because it is pushing for Turkey to join.

30. That the EU budget only ever went up.

31. That you had no idea why the EU needed a military, and why it was pushing for further defence collaboration.

32. That the EU had forced you to replace unanimity with QMV.

33. That all the ex-Soviet citizens that are now in your community is all the fault of the EU.

34. That too many countries have joined and are joining the EU

35. That you don’t like being held accountable and fined by the ECJ.

36. That all this regulation coming out of the EU is strangling you, and the scope keeps increasing.

37. That CAP has always been bad for you.

38. That the European Community had nothing to do with peace and it was all NATO.

39. That the CFP deal the EEC forced on you damaged the fishing industry in the 1980s.

40. That it is a disgrace that you have to collaborate in certain areas of foreign policy.

41. And… That regional funds are stupid and you should be allowed to spend your money how you like.

42. Now, I hate to cast aspersions, but are you absolutely sure the EU is to blame?

43. To be honest, some think you are pandering to a part of you that blames anybody but themselves when things go wrong.

44. So, I am asking you to do some soul searching and rethink this whole thing.

45. Just to be clear, we’ll still be friends, and it doesn’t matter if you decide to leave the EU or not.

46. But if you leave for the reasons you have stated, you will not be respected in the global community for many years to come.

47. Oh, and I heard you were talking about WTO reform. Seriously? After this?!?

/End