Me: *throws you down a pit*
You: my leg's broken
Me: I'm sure you have proof. I'll wait
You: YOU THREW ME DOWN A PIT
Me: so sick of people always bringing up pits
You: YOU THREW ME DOWN ONE
Me: wow victim card much
You: A PIT
Me: that talk's exactly why you got thrown down a pit
You: DAMN YOU
Me: you seem so emotional, i only deal in logic
You: YOU BELONG IN PRISON
Me: this is the hate I deal with every day
You: i'm going into shock
Me: How is that *my* problem? *You* fell into a pit.
You: shut up
Me: See how the unhinged pit folk silence dissent?
HEARTWARMING: Man who crawls out of pit every day to get to work is given a rope ladder by his friendly boss.
Me: if this is wrong then please refute me

You: how could the people trying to stop people from being thrown into pits be the people throwing people into pits, idiot?

Me: typical, resorting to insults and attacks because you cannot refute me with logic

"Chris. These claims of 'pit discrimination' are just the HEIGHT of disingenuity. If *I* were pushed into a pit, *I'd* fall into it, too. But SOMEhow suddenly you're in a pit and it's everybody else's fault. People who always blame others are probably hiding something."
"I haven't heard of pits, or people, or pushing. What are these concepts? I couldn't say. I'm just not going to comment every time somebody gets moved from one place to another."
*distant but unbearable sound of a bone saw at work*
"Is this even a problem? I mean, really? *I* don't know anybody who's been pushed into a pit? Do either of *you* know anybody who's been pushed into a pit?"
"Come on. Come on. Give me a break. Come on. I mean really. Really, what's next? I mean, this is just beyond. You can't even make this sort of thing up. Come on. COME on."
"It's a documented historical fact that people were happier and better off in pits then they are now that they're spending all this energy crawling out. Also both sides push people into pits. Why, Democrats founded Pittsburgh."
HILLARY CLINTON HAS AN ARMY OF PIT DWELLERS WITH LASER EYES READY TO EMERGE FROM A CRACK IN EARTH'S CRUST JUST EAST OF SAINT LOUIS, WHERE THEY WILL MOUNT THEIR INVASION, WAKE UP, PEOPLE, MY EYES ARE OPEN WIDE, MY SKIN IS LASER RESISTANT, I WILL NOT BE SILENCED
"The president never said anything about an subterranean army, Jim, and it's just such grandstanding to suggest it, which is what we'd expect from the lying press. Also the danger is very real. No further questions."

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More from @JuliusGoat

Feb 21
Gay kids will die because of this, which is the desired purpose of the bill.
To those who scold that we mustn’t assume evil intentions into the actions of people who consistently pursue absolute evil with steadfast dedication and unshakable resolve: yes, we should.
I guess the ultimate answer to "you don't know what their true motivations are" is "who gives a shit what their motivations are?"

I care *that* you want to burn down my house. I only care *why* you want to burn down my house to the extent it helps me stop you.
Read 18 tweets
Feb 20
Father: *strangles my brother*
Me: help help my father is murdering my brother
Centrist Cousin: it’s that sort of us vs them thinking that’s tearing this family apart
Me: no look literally he’s murdering my brother right in front of us

Centrist Cousin: he’s never going to want to stop if you keep vilifying him with overheated black and white language; I’ve engaged many stranglers and learned a lot about the complexities

Brother: gkkk gkk gk
Me: Look he’s about to die, for real; I really think we just need to stop my dad from killing him right now

Centrist Cousin: that’s exactly the sort of judgemental escalating bad thinking on our side that we need to criticize, I refuse to let myself become just as bad as he is
Read 4 tweets
Feb 19
If you want to live in a modern enlightened society and you vote for Republicans, no you don't.
To be clear, that's any Republicans at any level for any position at any time, and honestly we may want to expand that to include Democrats willing to work with Republicans.

Shut the whole party down, out, and over.
If you want to live in a modern enlightened society and you vote for Republicans, no you don't.
Read 4 tweets
Feb 14
As a Wordle pro on the tour, I feel I should share the best starting word, which all the pros know. The word is XYLYL.
(My own personal favorite starting word is COCCYX, but if I show amateurs how to guess 6-letter words I will be banned from the Wordle Pro Tour and forced to sit next to Bret Stephens in the NYT cafeteria.)
Wordle is a game of constantly shifting strategy; I recommend you get the latest version of my strategy compendium, v14.
Read 6 tweets
Feb 13
I want to propose a different way of thinking about conservatism and progressivism.

I suggest we think about the two positions not as detectable ideologies themselves, but as situational orientations around an existing order.

getrevue.co/profile/julius…
Specifically with this order. The one that exists. This reality. The way our systems and laws are set up, the way they’re codified and the way they’re operationalized. What they claim to intend to do, and what they actually do.

“The way things are,” in other words.
Let’s think of conservatism as being, in its essence, an orientation that desires to keep the existing order just as it is, or to make slow and deliberate calculated minor adjustments, to the existing order.
Read 29 tweets
Feb 8
In BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S, Mickey Rooney played I. Y. Yunioshi, dressed up in buck teeth and a cartoon squint, a grotesque caricature of a Japanese person.

So I suppose in that sense “you wouldn’t be able” to make BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S today.

Which seems somehow preferable.
Now: what interests me is what it means to say *you can’t* make BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S these days.

It doesn’t mean you CAN’T. Unlike teaching, say,The Bluest Eye to Texas schoolchildren, there exist no laws to prevent Will Ferrell from putting in the teeth and playing Yunioshi.
So actually you *can* make BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S today, I.Y. Yunioshi and all, and throw in Long Duc Dong if you want.

You can if you want wear blackface and dance around in white gloves, like Fred Astaire in SWING TIME, if you want to.

If you want to.
Read 20 tweets

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