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Erik Patterson @erikpatterson
, 22 tweets, 10 min read Read on Twitter
There's lots of ugliness in the world right now, so I think it's important to share these photos of what happened when my friend Marvin called me & said: "I'm getting married & we can only invite 100 people. You didn't make the cut. But you can come if you come as a drunk clown."
(1) There's not a lot of story to tell, but for anyone who wants some DRUNK CLOWN AT THE WEDDING backstory:

Marvin had a vision of a drunk clown crashing his wedding. It's all he ever wanted. Laura was on board. That's the kind of perfect-for-each-other weirdos they are.
(2) I arrived in a regular suit. I had the clown outfit, face paint, shavingg stuff (I had a full beard & needed to shave for the make-up) and two 40oz's (Marvin asked for a drunk clown, so I was giving him a D*R*U*N*K clown) in a bag I hid in a bathroom next to the ceremony.
(3) I only knew a handful of people at the wedding. Didn't know Marvin or Laura's families. More importantly, they didn't know me. Which made me the perfect surprise drunk clown.
(4) I didn't want them to recognize me when I showed up as a clown -- the idea was to make it feel like an actual drunk clown had crashed the festivities -- so I didn't mingle much.
(5) As soon as the ceremony was over, people were directed to another area for a wine reception. I slipped away to the bathroom with @AimieRocks, who was helping with my make-up. I shaved off the beard, did my face, got into the clown suit, and pounded one of the 40oz's.
Total lightweight here. I was hammered pretty quickly. I'm a method actor, so I drank half the other 40oz too. Then I stumbled over to the wine reception.
(7) I barged in, marched over to Laura's mom, grabbed her wine, downed it, then handed the empty glass back to her. CONFUSION. MILD CHAOS.

WHO IS THIS DRUNK CLOWN?
(8) I accidentally shattered a few wine glasses, but I gotta say I brought a real JOVIAL DRUNK CLOWN vibe to the whole affair, so people embraced me pretty quickly, even though I kept drinking their wine.
(9) Except for Laura's dad, who called for security to escort me out. She had to tell him that I was AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE WEDDING PARTY.

Best Man ☑️
Maid of Honor ☑️
Drunk Clown ☑️
(10) At some point, we must have gone into the vineyard to take those photos in the original tweet up above, but honestly I was so drunk that I don't remember taking them.

Anyway, I told you there wasn't much backstory. It was an awesome wedding. <end>
ADDENDUM: just found this photo & it made me laugh. This is after security was called off, after everyone found out I wasn't a DRUNK CLOWN STRANGER but a DRUNK CLOWN FRIEND. And everyone's just...so...completely...CHILL. Just like, "whatevs," as I drink more.
(12) OMG okay so I guess I have to make a SECOND ADDENDUM because @AimieRocks just emailed me some more photos from the wedding. Adding them to this thread...
(13) What I wore to the wedding ceremony. (That's not my hat, that's @AimieRocks's hat, I'm *not* a hat person but wearing it made me feel like Diane Keaton.) Posting these photos so you can see the beard I had before my clown transformation. I shaved that thing off SO QUICKLY.
(14) DRUNK WEDDING CLOWN, A PORTRAIT. I hate beer so much, but I had to get in character and I feel like drunk wedding clowns drink beer??? I've barely had any of the beer and already a little drunk in this photo. We didn't leave the bathroom until after I finished that bottle.
(15) Last three photos. I love how Laura’s pretending not to know me in that first one. The kissing photo is with another good college friend, Michal. I have no idea who I’m talking to in that third photo. <end addendum> xx
Marvin just joined twitter to tell me that's his mom I'm hugging in the third photo in this tweet. I'M SORRY, MARVIN. But welcome to twitter. xo
(17) ADDENDUM #3: @MarvinSolomon8 just texted me the name of their wedding photographer. Shoutout to SAMUEL POTTER PHOTOGRAPHY in Paso Robles. Here's his website: samuelpotter.com He took the three vineyard photos & obviously has a great eye. THANK YOU SAMUEL POTTER.
I was at a party this afternoon and an old friend introduced me to his wife, then told her: “honey, this is the drunk clown I told you about.”
Someone messaged me asking if they could interview me about the drunk clown stuff for a TV show & we're about to skype. I texted my mom and asked "how do I look?" This is her reply. WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN??? IS THAT A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING??? WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME, MOM???
My grandma’s been in the hospital with bad shingles & infection. It’s been a scary, stressful week, & she’s been in bad pain. But she’s getting A LOT better. And thankfully she just got moved to rehab facility.

My mom just texted me this photo she took of grandma’s new room.
A friend just texted that he’s showing these drunk wedding clown photos to his family tomorrow and I hope it brings them all closer together.
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