Thread by @garius

GRAYLING: PM says I'm in charge of this! How exciting!
CIV SERVANT: Right well we'll need ferries and
GRAYLING: I think we need to be more digital!
CIV SERVANT: Sorry what?
GRAYLING: Like 'digital railway'
SPAD: GREAT idea Minister!
GRAYLING: We can call it Dunkirk 2.0 /1#brexit

https://twitter.com/Peston/status/1054806729798664194

SPAD1: Dunkirk 2.0? That's inspired
SPAD2: Brilliant
GRAYLING: Thank you
CIV SERVANT: But what does it even mean?!
GRAYLING: It means... well Dunkirk isn't it?
SPAD1: It means taking back control!
SPAD2: It means brave little ships!
CIV SERVANT: Oh my god this is a madhouse. /2

GRAYLING: Do we really need the little ships?
SPAD1: Hmm
SPAD2: We could block-book Eurostar online instead?
GRAYLING: I LIKE that. It's digital AND railway
CIV SERVANT: What? But we need the ships! We need to move goods! OH MY GOD why am I defending the little ships thing?! /3

GRAYLING: So you're insisting on ships then?
CIV SERVANT: Yes! And a few big ones. The logistics on that are hard enough
GRAYLING: Oh piffle. I play with boats in my bath. It's not that hard.
CIV SERVANT: What?
GRAYLING: And a rubber duck. Oh wait. Now THAT'S an idea... /4

CIV SERVANT: Please no
GRAYLING: Bear with me: have we COMPLETELY ruled out a giant duck?
SPAD1: Nice
AIDE: VERY outside the box
CIV SERVANT: Make it stop
GRAYLING: OR a whole FLEET of regular-sized ducks
AIDE: A duck cloud
SPAD2: VERY digital
GRAYLING: Their quacks don't echo /5

TREASURY CIV SERVANT: Invoice from the DfT sir.
HAMMOND: Is it another locksmith? Has he locked himself in the toilet again?
CIV SERVANT: No sir.
HAMMOND *reading*: Gimmie the phone.
GRAYLING: Hello!
HAMMOND: You've bought 48,000 ducks, Chris.
GRAYLING: Operation Dunquack! /END