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(A True Indian) Kansara Profile picture
@kansaratva
Dec 16, 2018 • 10 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
I never knew Prime Ministers were *installed*.

What's the supported operating system? iOIOS?
One difference is that iOIOS, Idea of India Operating System, does not work with Random Access Memory (RAM).

Instead it needs a Secular Constitution Assisted Memory (SCAM).

Minimum SCAM required is 176GB (Gandhi Bucks).
The greatest feature of iOIOS is its High Command Prompt.

The prompt is a simple $$$.

Examples.

$$$ cd $HOME
$$$ pwd
/10janpath

$$$ find logic
logic not found.

$$$ ls --hindu
hindu: wrong argument.

$$$ mandir
mandir: command not found

(The last is same as in BSOS of BJP.)
If you are a developer (as in real estate developer), you may be interested in the High Command Prompt.

For others, a GUI (Gandhi's Unlimited Interface) version is also provided.

The GUI version works on all screens up to 56".

When booting up, the ✋🏻comes up and slaps you.
The home screen is a simple one with apps on a green and white background (customized with green on top and white on bottom or vice versa).

Apps like CoMa (Constitutional Morality), CoCaIn (Cons. Caring & Inclusivity), and CoWER (Congress Women Empowerment) are pre-installed.
One of the best features is Rapid Input Output Technology (RIOT) in which iOIOS periodically pitches one app against another to increase its own influence.

As for security against external threats, there is no built-in module. If compromised, a saffron-colored message is shown.
The app store is called "Gandhi Market". One group of users has first access to all finance/money apps and another has first access to all education apps.

There's no icon for installation. Instead, iOIOS recognizes the stooping gesture. Stoop low for high speed installation.
Notifications are rampant and come from many indistinguishable media apps.

Swiping them left gives you points that can be redeemed in any bank*.

Swiping them right blocks you from receiving any benefits.

Stooping low makes them go away.

*Terms, Conditions and Religions apply.
On devices that use other OSes, such as BSOS (BJP's Silent OS), iOIOS invariably finds its way and starts undermining the system.

Apps get corrupted, memory gets overwritten, and notifications show only lies.

Essentially, iOIOS acts like a Trojan (virus, not condom).
In this way, iOIOS is on lot more systems even though BSOS currently controls the OS market.

Partly, this is due to BSOS focusing more on developers instead of users. Frequent core dumps are also a problem.

Next week we will see the salient features of BSOS. Good day. //

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More from @kansaratva

(A True Indian) Kansara Profile picture
Aug 1
The world was steeped in clashes,
While trade looked grim and sad!
And rose, as if from ashes,
Mr. Trump, aren't we glad? 1/

Tariffs, he made them higher,
Tariffs, he made them fair;
Tariffs, he did not tire,
Tariffs, he didn't care! 2/
A weapon, said the POTUS,
These tariffs are to me!
Make 'murica the Greatest,
Bring back its old glory! 3/

And then out of the blue skies,
Modi, unseen, went rogue!
His defense: very precise;
His attack: masterstroke! 4/
And then out of the skies gray,
Modi, unheard, went far!
The brown pants turned red and brayed:
O POTUS! STOP THE WAR!! 5/

More orange turned Mr. Trump;
WHAT DID THOSE INDIANS HIT?!
It was not some ammo dump,
That went in flames and sh*t! 6/
Read 6 tweets
(A True Indian) Kansara Profile picture
Mar 29
People involved in this movie from the most mature film industry in the known and the unknown Universe: Gokulam Gopalan, Murali Gopi, Suresh Balake, Deepak Dev, Prithviraj Sukumaran, and of course, Mohanlal.

Please, hoist them up some more on imaginary pedestals.
The more you rely on celebs, especially from tinsel town, to take up causes which only you have in your mind but do not exist for them, the more you will be disappointed.

Here, we are talking about a movie clique which thinks beef is as mandatory as a story. Who is the idiot?
The movie world, like most businesses, runs on money. If there is money to be made (and found), then that becomes the cause. It is true for movies like this one, and it is true for movies on the other side of the spectrum.

It would be supremely juvenile to think otherwise.
Read 6 tweets
(A True Indian) Kansara Profile picture
Feb 25
The Commissioner of Police invited Shashi Tharoor to a comfortable room for interrogation. Some of his officials were also present.

"Good morning, Sir," he started.

"The effulgent yet pristine solar radiation does prognosticate a benevolent ante meridiem," coruscated Tharoor.
The people in the room were taken aback. They had particularly looked forward to interrogating a political celebrity like Tharoor, but this came out of the blue.

Tharoor looked at them, flicked his silken hair with a jerk, and smirked to show them that he was in full control.
The Commissioner regained his composure and tried again with a straight face.

"Where were you on that fateful night?" he asked.

"The oriental framework of temporal evolution," said Tharoor while crossing his legs, "is in contrast with the occidental notion of absolute time."
Read 13 tweets
(A True Indian) Kansara Profile picture
Jan 2
The story takes us back to 10000 years as history goes, or maybe more. Who knows?

A traveler, after arriving at the location barred by barriers, would see an arch at the entrance.

A hidden loudspeaker would then announce: "Welcome to the Land of the World's Oldest Language".
The real story, however, is older, when the people of the land found out that they can speak.

They saw the Sun rising behind the hills. "Sun," shouted one, pointing at it, and that became its word in their tongue.

"Gabbu," shouted another for stink from the piled up garbage.
So it was that they learned the joy of coining words, and it became an obsession with them.

"Māmūl," one would say when the hidden sheriff would ask for some cowries to let someone pass. "Māmā," his friend would snigger.

"Pīlā," someone else would say when her friend was lying.
Read 17 tweets
(A True Indian) Kansara Profile picture
Jun 29, 2024
White Beard and Black Beard were seated in large, plush chairs in a dimly lit hall, their faces plastered with a smile as fake as a bride's when greeted by relatives from the other side, their eyes vacant and tired like a reserved passenger's whose seat is taken over by others.
"We have got sondesh for you both," said someone whose name they had forgotten.

White Beard waited for a message, and instead, all he got was a box of just desserts.

"Why is it so red?" asked Black Beard after opening it.

There was only a strained silence from the other side.
Black Beard ignored him anyway. "What have you got?" he asked someone who he had never met.

White Beard, fearing a sondesh repeat, turned his face to ignore the broken windows.

"Chak-hao kheer."

Black Beard opened it and said, "I thought it was made with black rice, not red."
Read 20 tweets
(A True Indian) Kansara Profile picture
Apr 16, 2024
"Take it," said the officer to Sam Pitroda with a wink, "and go."

So Sam, with a smirk enclosed within his black-dyed French beard, took the EVM home.

He unwrapped it, unboxed it, and connected it to the power supply.

"How does it feel to disrobe a machine?" said a voice.
Sam was stunned and jerked away from the EVM.

Did he really hear the machine speak, or was it his own fertile imagination?

Confused, he moved towards the EVM and then gingerly pressed a button.

The EVM moaned, as if aroused, and teased him, "How gently you press my buttons."
There was no question about it now in Sam's mind. The EVM was talking to him.

He took a deep breath, looked up at the portrait of Nehru hanging on the wall to gather some courage.

"Er...what's your name?" he asked as his mind did whirligigs.

"E V Meena, Uncle," said E V Meena.
Read 15 tweets

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