, 19 tweets, 6 min read Read on Twitter
Alright, pile in.

We’re going for a ride down to the frontlines of America’s war on Having Any Goddamn Sense At All.

You have to see what the Mindless Dunce in Chief has our active duty troops doing.

It is effing nuts.

As setup, our southern border runs a rather impressive 2,000+ miles through all kinds of terrain.

Remote areas. Populated areas. Mountainous, hilly and flat areas. This land is your land. This land is my land.

You get the picture.

Much of the border requires no fence because your average immigrant is unlikely to choose a route across a vast unpopulated inferno, over 200’ cliffs or through 100 miles of high scrub.

That river is the border. Those cliffs are probably more formidable than a 30’ wall.

Populated areas, naturally, tend to draw people.

So we’ve put up walls in some.

This is around Nogales, Arizona.

There are communities on both sides of the wall. People pass back and forth btwn them each day through checkpoints.

Normal human travel by humans being human.

Since we have a hateful ignoramus as our Commander in Chief now, the plain old wall just won’t do anymore apparently.

After all, there are ignorant voters six states from the border with fears that must be mongered.

Imaginary crises require real props.

Enter the military.

Since President F***apotamus sent 8k troops to the border with nothing to do (and that makes for lousy television) might as well have them do SOMETHING, right?

Something crisis-y!

Something that screams “An invasion is afoot! Fortify thy easily defeated stationary barrier!”

As you can see, the braintrust that is Trump’s coterie of dumbalinas came up with the genius idea of putting up razor-wire...

...on the U.S. side of the wall.

If you’re planning on fleeing the country on foot, I’d suggest avoiding Nogales. They’ve really fenced you in.

“But... but... putting the razor-wire on our side of the wall makes no sense!” you say.

Of course it doesn’t make any sense!

None of this makes any goddamn sense!

This is a clown college field trip to Stupidville.

It’s ALL just a charade. An absurd performance. An act.

The goal is to create the optics of crisis and danger.

That level of theatrics at this scale requires props. Shiny, sharp, pointy, dangerous props.

One problem: Petrified Patriots watching at home on Fox News can only see the props if they’re on OUR side of the wall.

Plus, there’s a minor issue that tends to pop up when we put the razor coils on the other side facing Mexico:

Intrepid entrepreneurs promptly pull them down, thank us for the kind gift and recycle the metal to make useful things... as people with damn sense do with metal.

We, being a land free of any sense though, are heavy into staged, illusory dramas.

So a double-coil was unrolled and mounted...

...but does that REALLY say “prepare to stash thy heirlooms in a body cavity, for a caravan is bearing down!”

No, that takes way more rolls.

So, here we have the United States side of a wall covered in razor-wire from ground to top.

Razor-wire came by its name honestly. It is truly made to resemble long threads of razors.

It is sharp as shit. It will kill you.

An attorney friend was involved in a case where a man went to a New York City Cadillac dealership to look at cars.

The dealership had a coil of concertina on the inside of their fence.

Guy bends down to look at a car. Lacerates his ass to the tune of 25 stitches.

So, the good people of Nogales, Arizona now have a dangerous hazard running through streets where kids play and walk.

All for the optics of crisis and deference...

...which only matter until you get far enough out of town for no one to notice.

But, man, oh man, at the great filming locations...

Whoops, I mean at the “immigration hot spots”...

...we are just maxing out the Danger and Defense mood lighting.

And not to land this plane like a total Border Battlements Buzzkill but...

Ya know what it takes to defeat razor-wire if you really want to get to the other side?

A couple of carpets or a mattress or two.

That’s it.

Assuming the metal doesn’t get recycled first, that is.

This is all a show, folks.

A vainglorious buffoon’s expensive charade.

Our hardworking military is putting up staging for an inane vanity play.

What a waste of money.

Note: Credit for almost all border photos to Jonathan Clark, Nogales International.

For more on the insane razor-wiring of the Nogales border, see here:

Ironically, the Guardian just posted a piece on this as well...

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