, 6 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
1) I blame the Girl Scouts and their fricken cookies.
I covet them. The cookies not the Girl Scouts. After all they are Scouts and are needed out there.
Scouting. I guess. Scouting.
They have names of cookies I've never heard of, never dreamed of...
2) It's as if the Girl Scouts have this magical place where all these oddly named cookies are made or created or magically appear im not sure. I am however sure of who I am. My name and things and that these cookies are too good. Way too good. So good they shouldn't be allowed..
3) I should be allowed, I mean just in general I should be allowed to exist. I should be allowed.
You should be allowed but I'm sorry I can't account for you.
I wouldn't even know how. it sounds difficult it sounds like a lot of work.
Accounting. Is that what accounting is...
4) I'm angry with the Girl Scouts. I know they are scouts and everything but the cookie thing is insane.
Boxes and boxes and boxes i have eaten.
I told my wife's need to get rid of them. She bought a whole crate of them.
They must go! I've eaten boxes.
5) I covet them. All the boxes are wonderful, too wonderful. Too many strange names. Too many great cookies. Great cookies with strangers names, silly even. We never question the names because the cookies are so good.
So I covet them. Do you? I do, I do!...
6) Girl Scouts must Scout for cookies. That's why they have so many.
I mean if your a scout you must scout.
If I started scouting for cookies would I find several hundreds or maybe one hundred cookies. A hundred Girl Scout cookies.
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