So, hey.
I somehow managed to book a creepy log cabin to do some intensive writing in for a few days...
I’ve been laughing to myself about just how cliched-horror-movie this cabin is. But at 5.30am, out of nowhere, despite it blowing a gale out there for hours, wind chimes start chiming for the first time from the porch...
Now, I’m just about to go to bed, but I’m not sleeping through annoying, spontaneous wind chimes, so I head out there...
And I see the wind chimes hanging on a rusty hook. I figure I can reach them, and I walk out onto the porch in my socks.
And the door immediately slams shut behind me. Of course...
I frantically check the door’s not locked. It isn’t. I’m not stuck on this porch in this gale in my socks and a T-shirt. But I do hear something in the bushes...
I don’t think much of it. There’s been possums running all over the roof all night (cute Australian possums, not those weird US ones). It’s the bush, things are allowed to move in bushes...
I manage to stand on my tippy toes and grab the rusted wind chimes from the rusted nail they’re hanging on, and I hear the noise again...
Now I’m kind of giggling to myself because of how creeped out I’m feeling, so I grab my phone to take a photo of the murder cabin I’m writing in for a few days. Here it is...
And straight after I take the photo, there’s a flash. I check to see if my phone’s flash is on - it is. I try to turn it off to take another photo, but something flashes over me...
And it didn’t come from my phone...
And there’s the sound again. But this time it’s heavier. Like a footstep...
And there’s another flash against the wall of the cabin.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, thinking I’ve left the torch on, which I somehow have, and I manage to shine it in my own face as I try to turn it off to take another photo of the cabin...
But then I realize I didn’t shine my phone in my face. Something else flashed in my face, & my brain is yelling at me...
I’m telling myself I’m being stupid and that I did flash my own face & the ‘footstep’ was probably a kangaroo or something, so I turn to confront the animal making the sound, and...
And, at 5.30am, in the dark, outside the murder cabin, SOMEONE IS STANDING THERE...
I can’t see their face. They’re wearing a head torch...
And I’m running. I know I slipped at some stage in my socks, as I ran up the porch. I definitely kicked the wind chimes. I ran through the door and slammed it shut and locked it...
And here’s the thing. Several tweets later, I’m sure it was probably just a super-early-morning jogger or something, who was curious about the guy standing in his socks taking photos of a cabin with a flash...
But if it wasn’t, I’m letting you all know, just in case.
And here’s this helpful picture I accidentally took mid-panic-run, if you need photographic evidence to go with this testimony.
Update: I just heard the wind chimes again. The wind chimes I know for fact aren’t hanging up anymore.
THIS IS SCREWED. I am not joking. Lying in bed and the bedroom door just suddenly blew open with a bang...
OH. COME ON!
I realize it’s been 8 hours. Just wanted to let you all know, I’m okay.
The story didn’t end there, but my phone battery did, and the charger was in my car OUTSIDE - so, you know, physically impossible to retrieve...
So, this is what happened next.
Before my phone died, I spoke to my wife and told her I was sure I’d be fine.
And then I took a video... of the bedroom ceiling...
I’m lying in bed, and the ceiling is making this sound... and then my phone dies...
I’m lying there staring at the ceiling, which is apparently counting down to my death, when the wind chimes rattle across the porch floor, and then something very big runs across the roof...
I’m assuming it was a large possum, and definitely not a hellbeast.
Eventually, exhausted, I close my eyes...
And I wake up to a BANG!
I’m instantly more awake than I’ve ever been before. I’m on my feet, but I don’t remember getting out of bed...
Someone is BASHING ON THE FRONT DOOR...
I’m standing motionless, in my underwear, ignoring the still-ticking ceiling, trying not to breathe too loud, trying not to make a single sound. I AM A PETRIFIED NINJA...
The bashing starts again...
Without stopping to do anything sensible that would make me feel less vulnerable, like put on pants, I walk slowly to the front door, and there’s a large shadow on the venetian blinds. A very big person is standing on the porch of this remote cabin...
The bashing starts again.
I, eloquently, call out, “WHAT?!”
The bashing stops...
I see the guy shift and he calls out.
“Package”...
After the night I’ve had l, there’s no way I’m opening the door to a stranger delivering a package to a remote cabin...
Also, I’m in my underwear.
Also, I can’t open the door because I frantically locked it during the night and I have no idea what I’ve done with the keys...
He calls out, “Can you sign for it?”
After a way-too-long-and-awkward-pause, I say, “Um... No?”
...
So, what are we thinking?
Still-beating heart or trapped soul?
Why are so many of you asking me what’s in the mysterious package?
Why the hell would I open it? You think I’m going to bring it INSIDE??
No. It stays outside. With the wind chimes.
Okay. I brought it inside.
But I’m keeping it inside the fire safety cage.
What? What bear?
WHAT??
There is NOTHING in the fireplace, people. I’m here for four more nights. Don’t do this to me.
Okay. Yes, I see the bear thing in the fireplace. I assume it was a weird reflection, and it looks cuddly, so I’m not worried. But to the people who pointed out what looks like a person standing in the window of the cabin in the photo I took last night, YOU ARE NOT HELPING.
After seeing the ‘definitely not a person’ in that last picture, I decided to check the other rooms in this place. Found this tiny chair in front of an old television with no reception. How FUN.
There’s something running over the roof. I tried to get a video where you can hear the footsteps. Got this instead.
*Insert gif of Jake Perolta nervously saying, “Cool. Cool. Cool.”*
Thought *for a bit of fun* I’d take my laptop and do a little writing in the tiny chair.
And I seriously can’t remember putting this there...
All totally normal.
Hey. Sorry for the loud noise. Squished my toe with the tiny chair.
I’m in bed now. I want to go to sleep.
But something is on the roof...
It sounds... bigger than anything else I’ve heard on the roof up to now...
Hey. Sorry to all the people asking if I’m alive. Yes. I’m okay. Just been writing in isolation all day. Thanks to the news sites checking in too. Nice to see my living nightmare has made @TIME Magazine... time.com/5558954/nightm…
Oh. There is one thing to report from today. But it’s almost not worth reporting because, like, is this cabin even trying anymore...?
So, there are two bedside tables in my room. And, seriously, I almost didn’t bother sharing this because it’s just so... blatant.
Try harder, cabin. Where’s the subtlety?
Anyway, I opened one and...
I’m not opening the other bedside table.
To everyone telling me to open the other bedside table, you’re the worst.
Gah! Fine. I’ll open the other damn drawer!
Thanks. This is just...
This is so much worse.
So. Much. Worse.
Huh?
What??
People. You need to stop this. I’m feeling weird enough.
WHICH PIC?
So. Remember the wind chimes?
I can hear them chiming again. The only problem is there’s no wind, and they’re not even outside anymore.
I brought them in and put them with the package on the old wooden dollhouse.
The stuffed toy on the dollhouse isn’t a bear. It’s called a Bilby - which is kind of an Australian native bunny. It’s a marsupial. We give out chocolate ones at Easter. I wouldn’t call it haunted.
The Bilby isn’t “glowing”. It’s just... sitting on the dollhouse.
What are you all talking about?!
Okay. Yeah... yeah. I see it. Outside the window.
Above the package and the chimes.
Not. Cool.
It could be a fluke thing. It might have been a moth. There have been a lot of moths at that window tonight...
THANKS FOR THAT.
REALLY HELPFUL INPUT.
REALLY.
No. I didn’t go outside and investigate the ghost bear from childhoods past!
Why don’t YOU go out and investigate?!
$&@%!!!!
THERE IS LEGITIMATELY SOMETHING TRYING TO COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY!!!
BATTERY ALMOST GONE. BUT TELL ME YOU ALL HEARD THE WIND CHIMES IN THE LAST VI
I did not know that.
THANKS FOR SHARING.
Someone’s here.
Someone’s standing on the damn porch.
And I’ve left the door open... because I’m an idiot.
Okay. Time to face whatever the hell this is now...
Sorry. I know you want updates.
It was a guy saying he was here to fix the phone line.
BUT here’s the thing, there’s definitely no phone line here.
I explained that I was working and I didn’t have much time, but he told me he had to come in now - as there was no way they were going to get anyone else to come out here again.
???
So... I let him in.
And there’s definitely no phone line.
But he went straight to the old CRT TV with the tiny chair in the nook in the kids’ room.
I snapped this photo, but my phone wasn’t on silent. The fake photo snap sound was SO LOUD, people.
He’s gone.
The non-existent phone line wasn’t fixed.
Gonna get back to work.
Completely unrelated, this is probably just the wind, right?
I wish the wind was blowing...
A bunch of you are pointing this out. I don’t quite know what you’re talking about, but I’m suitably concerned. Thanks.
(I’m here for two more nights)
No. I just wanted to listen to something while I was driving to a cafe, but thanks for your input, Siri.
A number of you have expressed concern about me being alone in this cabin (thanks for that).
Good news! I’m not alone anymore...
The cabin has sent me a large furry friend for company!
I’m genuinely surprised it took this long. Maybe the murder cabin was just waiting until this one had grown to approximately the size of my face?
???
This doesn’t look right. Did you photoshop this?
Here’s a thing,
It’s the stillest night tonight since I’ve been here. But I can definitely hear the wind chimes again.
I went out onto the porch... and I couldn’t hear them anymore.
Came back in and I heard them again.
And I think I know where they’re coming from...
Yeah. Yeah... I’m almost certain the chimes are coming from UNDER the house.
Will investigate later.
There’s no point. I haven’t heard the chimes during the day.
Gonna write a few more pages of this film and then go take a look.
Nah. Not gonna happen. 1) I’m Australian. We don’t do guns. 2) I copped a bad tackle playing football (soccer) about a month ago. Ligament damage. Still limping. Going down stairs to investigate mysterious chimes with a limp and a weapon sounds crazy.
Better to go defenceless.
Sigh.
Sound on.
I’m starting to dislike this place...
Chimes have started under the floorboards again.
I’m going to investigate.
Little bit nervous...
$&@#!!!!’n
I WENT OUT. I HEARD THE CHIMES. BUT I SAW SOMETHING ELSE AND
I DON’T KNOW! BUT I DEFINITELY SAW IT WHEN I WAS OUT THERE, AND IT MADE A NOISE!
ALSO, WHY DID I CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND ME??
It wasn’t just you.
Yeah...
Tomorrow night is my last night in what Airbnb describe as a ‘Cosy and relaxing log cabin’.
I’ve decided I’m opening the package then.
Good night.
I imagine this won’t surprise anyone, but there’s a storm on its way...
Perfect.
Just. Perfect.
All of these books were on the same shelf in the cabin. See if you notice one that stands out.
I don’t want to talk about the table because... yeah.
I hadn’t thought to check.
Nope. No bookmarks. But you’ll be happy (?) to hear several pages are dog-eared. I AM NOT CHECKING THOSE PAGES.
This has been staring me in the face the whole time. There’s this piece of art on the wall here, and I think it’s the huge tree behind the house. But I’ve only just noticed what’s beneath it. Am I overthinking this, or is that a ghost cabin?
Probably just my eyes playing tricks on me, but does anyone else kind of see a girl wearing a dress lying on the the tree branch and facing away from us?
Oh, damn. Yeah. I see her. Poking her head out.
Also, how is my battery at 1% again?
Be right back. I’ll go get the charger from the car.
Need my battery charged for when I open the package later.
Came back from the car and there was the sound of... wind (?) coming from the cupboard in my bedroom. Not sure if you can hear it in the video or not.
But I’m pretty sure the cabin knows it’s my last night and is now screwing with me. The sound just stops at the end.
Super comforting. Thanks.
By the way, that is the THIRD doorknob that’s fallen off in my hand in this place!
The wind is going CRAZY outside. Lights have started flickering inside.
But I just want to point out that, despite the wind, the mystery wind chimes aren’t chiming and the swing isn’t swinging.
Not helping.
Oh. Hello, friend.
DAMN IT!
The cabin just lost power in the storm!!!
I went looking for matches or candles, and in the third drawer down, in the kitchen, I found the world’s most useless lantern.
Somehow, it’s intensely bright without actually illuminating anything!
WHAT???
Where’s this from? Which video? They’re definitely not my clothes. I don’t wear anything colourful!
What paw print? What the hell did I miss??
YOU WIN, CABIN!
I’m opening the damn package!
I HAVE TO! DON’T YOU SEE?? THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THIS ENDS!!!
Damn it.
DAMN IT!!!
Okay. I guess I’m doing this...
That’s not enough. It needs to learn.
IT NEEDS TO LEARN!!
YOU WANT TO COME AT ME, MURDER CABIN! WITH YOUR STUPID LOOSE DOORKNOBS, AND YOUR DAMN WIND CHIMES!!
YEAH. I SEE IT.
I’M WALKING HERE.
I REJECT YOU, SWING. I REJECT YOU, FUZZY ADORABLE GHOST BEAR!!
RAAAAARGHH!!!
I’m alive.
Thought you all should know.
Sorry to leave you hanging.
I worked out there was no point fighting it.
There was no reason to keep them apart.
I let the bear watch TV overnight...
And, in the early morning, I left them together...
• • •
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@TheBrandonMorse Yeah. I had a hunch, Brandon. Because I woke up a couple of days ago and was very surprised to find my comic was on the “news” here in Australia. It seems our “Gay Superman” was being cancelled due to “abysmal sales” on the same day we were #1 on a bestseller list.
@TheBrandonMorse This made even less sense because we’d just reported that Jon Kent was actually going to headline a newly retitled series “Adventures of Superman: Jon Kent” - an iconic Superman title as I’m sure you know - which I’m already writing.
@TheBrandonMorse So, how could the news get it so wrong? How could this report be so inaccurate?
Which industry professional did they receive this information from?
It seems they only had one source, @TheBrandonMorse. And I think it’s clear this guy isn’t exactly an expert.
Wow.
Stick around for the end of this. It's worth it.
Today, I woke up to piles of strangers in my mentions attacking the sales of Superman: Son of Kal-El issue #6 and celebrating the failure of our comic... 🧵
Now, this was pretty confusing. I don't believe a story's worth is measured by its sales. But our Superman is selling pretty well. Issue #5, where Jon Kent comes out as bisexual, made the Top 10 in comic sales for November.
I get there are those who want to see this series fail for some pretty obvious, and awful, reasons, but... it's not failing.
A subtle Marvel/DC crossover in today's Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
Sadly, yes, this is our last issue.
I hate saying goodbye.
Thread...
@ledkilla In September 2018, I was trying to work out my next gig. I had some wonderful offers and opportunities and was weighing up several when an email appeared in my inbox from @nick_lowe_.
“Do you want to write Spider-Man?”
@ledkilla@nick_lowe_ All other possibilities were instantly forgotten faster than you can say, “Thwip!”
Quick thread.
A couple of days ago, I shared this image of my youngest son looking at a picture of #CaptainMarvel.
It got quite a bit of attention. Most of it very positive...
...But it blew me away that people could see this picture, and use it to launch an attack.
As a writer for @DCComics AND @Marvel, I genuinely love the heroes at both companies. And I want nothing but success for all their films and comics. #ManyUniversesOneFamily...
...A friendly rivalry can be fun, but I will never understand those who feel they have to put down one hero to boost another. That’s not how this works. If you love these heroes, and you’ve learned from them, then you know this...
Damn it!
I am so very sorry to hear about Margot Kidder.
I was fortunate enough to spend a bit of time with Margot.
And she WAS Lois Lane. Or rather, what made Lois great was Margot.
Margot fought against injustice through her political and social activism.
I was already in awe of her, and that only grew as she pragmatically told me about standing up to things bigger and more powerful than herself.