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Pointless Letters Profile picture
@pointlesslettrs
May 29, 2019 • 3 tweets • 1 min read • Read on X
Fucking COOKIES, is it? #NationalBiscuitDay Image
Morrisons is CANCELLED
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More from @pointlesslettrs

Pointless Letters Profile picture
Sep 25, 2020
“No spoilers for what’s coming in 2021 but let’s just say that the ability to live through food shortages while remembering to doff your cap and thank the toffs for the privilege will be a definite plus.”
And I know. I know I shouldn’t bite. I know this.

But let’s look at these 12 qualities, shall we?
Everyone ready to do some learning?
Read 16 tweets
Pointless Letters Profile picture
Sep 12, 2020
“Applications are now open for anyone who wants to join the People’s Panel of Patriots. Forms must be filled in using green ink or crayons only.” Image
The Daily Express: where nothing says “British values” like calling for purges
“People’s Panel of Patriots” Image
Read 7 tweets
Pointless Letters Profile picture
Sep 8, 2020
Fundamental and very basic question: what happens when some other country breaks international law in a "specific and limited way" when dealing with us? What then? Is our breaking international law okay, but their breaking international law is wrong?
Second fundamental question: would it not be quicker and cheaper to just paint "We're fucking untrustworthy shithouses and you'd have to be absolutely fucking crackers to invest or spend any of your money here" in letters 50 feet high on the white cliffs of Dover?
Only kidding, the answer will obviously be “it’s okay, we’re white”
Read 4 tweets
Pointless Letters Profile picture
Aug 31, 2020
LAST SHITE OF THE PROMS: What, you thought we were done with this? You fools! There’s more! There’s so much more! There’s always more! More! MOOOOOOORE!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa ImageImageImageImage
Fuckwit bonus points to Andy there, who’s angry that the entire BBC isn’t slavishly reproducing his views and his views alone because he’s paying his £3 a week as part of the license fee.
Though Michael from Rickmansworth’s mental gymnastics to get from “playing an orchestral version of a bit of music because it isn’t safe to get lots of people together to sing” to “organised book burnings” did give him a hard run for his money.
Read 4 tweets
Pointless Letters Profile picture
Aug 26, 2020
Here’s why this harmless thing that might give you a moment’s joy in this poisonous burning infectious hellscape of a planet is actually very problematic thank you very much, part 23,938,838 Image
I’m looking at you, person who watched Iron Man on Disney+ a week ago while eating an entire pipe of salt and vinegar pringles, you feckless BASTARD
There’s literally a global pandemic with hundreds of thousands of people dead. There’s actual Nazis on the march across the globe. The planet is burning up. Please don’t make me watching Danny DeVito have remote controlled weaponised penguins A Thing We Need To Discuss I beg you.
Read 5 tweets
Pointless Letters Profile picture
Jul 27, 2020
Cometh the hour, cometh the Nigel Image
Somewhere in Beijing, flustered aides are crowding around a clearly shaken President Xi Jinping as they consider the enormity of the situation. They have angered Nigel from Cornwall. Truly, they have awoken the sleeping giant.
Meanwhile, in Moscow, aides clustered outside the office of Vladimir Putin are just saying in hushed tones "Well, I'm not telling him."
Read 4 tweets

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