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The Anatomy of an Indian Liberal Post 2019 👇🏼
Class - Privileged but Woke.
Chaiwala & Pakodawala are also people.

First Language - English but will now occasionally pop in a few chaste Hindi words in North India.
In the South & the East besides English we anyway spoke the regional language with a cute lilt.
(Think: Moon Moon Sen)
Religious Denomination- Atheist but erm …tending towards a deep spiritualism that could be termed Hinduism… BUT… definitely not that Hindutva stuff.

Celebrations - Let’s see how it goes.…
Getting very mixed signals from The Club.
Food - Proudly non vegetarian. Not so gauche to be classified as vegetarian. But yes, considering being vegan after seeing an eye opening documentary on the BBC.

~Personal Statement~
Erm… we didn’t read the signs. Erm… we ignored the signs …
Like the Courts of France & Russia we believed victory would be ours.
Petitions of -
200 Eminent Citizens
100 Senior Bureaucrats
70 Has-been BollywoodStars…
All the while these peasants were breaking down the door.

So give them NYAY we said. But they flung it in our face.
~Opinion~
Rahul Toh Gaya.
(See, I’m already talking like them)

Rahul-In-A-Cotton-Saree Bhi Gayee.
(O God! Here I go again)
This summer plan delving into my roots.
Think the lush hills, gentle streams of Aberdeen might be the right place to begin.
Have to confess this is not the India we knew.
An India where no one listens to us & worse makes fun of us !

I mean my grandparents, parents, uncles & aunties dished out so many favours & in turn crawled for theirs & this how they repay us …
~Syncretic Culture~
Owaisi needs to get a grip. But yes articles in WaPo & NY
Times on how Muslims feel insecure in Modi’s India will be turned out at a breathless pace.

Thank God every once in a while their Sadhu or Sadhvi says something & we have our raison d’etre.
~Social Standing~
First of all - Are we standing?
And next - Keep that Kanhaiya away from me.
What a waste of single malt, kebabs & good (erm…demonetised) money.
~Lexicon~
Gau Mutra & Sanghi are now stale & new insults must be worked on, keeping our own future in mind.

If this is going to be … like forever, then must call The Club & strategise.
~Mission Statement~
This is not the end of our privileged existence.
Rahul must be readied & relaunched.
It can be done. It must be done.
~Motto~
Erm…Bharat Mata Ki Jai !
If this is what they want. This is what I will give.

Can we …erm…discuss price?

And Sir jee (eww, here I go again) remember being Hindu is all about forgiveness…

Till of course, I strike that dagger in your back.
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