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Traveller - Observer - Invested. Naam. Namak. Nishaan. RTs are tweets I wish I had written myself.….
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27 Jul
There are about 131 self-proclaimed ‘eminent’ citizens who write open letters that are junked without a second look.

67 people who regularly sign petitions on the death of democracy, intolerance & blah blah.
Around 15 journalists/lobbyists who owe their loyalty to a gravy train & push unashamedly their single-minded agenda.

5 tired self-styled ‘intellectuals, writers & historians’.

4 politicians trying to protect their vote bank
2 unelectable, unaccountable ones belonging to a failed ideology..

1 entitled part-timer..

6 paid TV panellists..

4 Activists...

7 sidekicks...

1 lawyer..

give or take a few more here & there....
Read 5 tweets
24 Jul
If thirty days of Ramzan & forty of Lent is fasting, feasting & piety but Karwa Chauth is regressive..

If a flank of a cow is a gastronomical delight but a boiled dog at Yulin Dog Festival repulsive..
If a jockey whipped horse on the races is sporting but Jalikattu reminds you of animal rights..

If goat sacrifice at Eid is a time worn tradition but dogs traumatised at Diwali is cruel..
If you use rain showers, jacuzzis, swimming pools the year round but worry about wasting water on one Holi a year..

If hijab is choice but ghungat coercive..

If little Santas singing carols at malls are cute but little Hanumans make you fear ‘Hindutva’ influence..
Read 6 tweets
18 Jul
When Justice R Bhanumati in her farewell speech thanked her Lord Jesus today, India learnt that the R in her name stood for Ruth & some of the fog surrounding her judgements in Hindu sensitive cases became clearer.
#Jallikattu #ChidambaramNararjarTempleCase
For 3 decades, this Judge opined & delivered judgements without us knowing her affiliations or ideology.

Thus it would not be unreasonable to make mandatory for Judges to declare the faith they practise when it comes to cases specifically related to other religions....
Specially since their names
may not give an indication of it.

As we have learnt the hard way over time, that the term & definition of secularism in India is warped & loaded against the majority community making it all the more imperative
Read 4 tweets
17 Jul
Strange isn’t it that a Communication Consultant requires interpreters, translators for a comment that he made or says he did not make but was misrepresented by news agencies that carried it ?

Self appointed explainers then explained that ‘Sanghis’
were bound not to understand & that we should have read that & not this because this was not that !

Brands & foreign funded organisations who selectively gaslight, virtue-signal or kick in the passing might find some useful takeaways from this episode-
First & foremost-
Communication on your part should be crisp,clear, unambiguous.
Moreso, you alone are responsible for clearing any controversy created by pulling up your mischievous news partners.

To think before speaking is best because retracting later can be embarrassing.
Read 6 tweets
8 Jul
For decades we watched films that catered to the lowest common denominator.
That not only dumbed down our cinematic sense but also froze us in a happy, unquestioning state that suited the powers-that-be.
With lazy scripts, mandatory songs, item numbers, puerile slapstick humour, unreal portrayal of Devis & ‘fallen’ women, heroes on celluloid that in real life should have been serving jail terms, the subliminal messaging of stereotypes we created Demi-Gods who sold us crap.
And those Demi-Gods exposed their goldfish level intelligence when they not only gave Headley a tour of the city, held up placards, lectured us, but instigated riots as well.

And we ask too late how did this come to pass ?
Read 11 tweets
4 Jul
Holiday Homework Scrapbook.

Task 1. DressUpDressUp as Daddy & Dadi.
Task 2,3,4. InterviewInterview with friends happily agreeing to nod & listen.
Task 5. Took Bhaiya & Didi who live in the SQ in a SUV & plonked them on a sidewalk for a MinglingWithMigrants photo shoot.
Read 7 tweets
27 Jun
Wrote this in October 2016 which now appears in a disjointed format. So rewriting it with better experience in Twitter Threads.

In upmarket Delhi
Shantiniketan, Vasant Vihar, Golf Links, Sundar Nagar, West End, Malcha Marg, Defence Colony etc

You'll hear of a son fighting his father, brother litigating brother, a sister demanding her 'rightful' share of property & money.
The cream of Delhi - politicians, senior bureaucrats, writers intellectuals, historians, lawyers, doctors, publishers & journalists...

fight tooth & nail for a few hundred sq yards.
Builders & lawyers get involved.
Families break.
Sides are taken.
It's WAR
Read 7 tweets
24 Jun
In 2013 during the course of a project I had the opportunity to work alongside a Scandinavian couple who had enjoyed their 3 year stint in India & had taken every opportunity to travel at length the country before returning home.
One day, as they were about to leave my office he turned to me & said:

~I have to ask you this ! Because I can no longer hold back the question.
How does a country of a billion people with a democratic tradition accept Sonia Gandhi, a foreigner, as the Super PM ?~
~I’m absolutely flabbergasted that Indians think they live in a democracy seemingly oblivious of the unconstitutionality of this person taking all major decisions. Worse than a dictatorship where at least the dictator pretends he has the mandate of the people~
Read 19 tweets
17 Jun
Every time someone says #BoycottChineseProducts others pop up with -
Then throw your iPhone out…
Dump your car…
Close the pharma industry…
Bring down the statue…

For God’s sake the point is from NOW ONWARDS do whatever you can & make that dent no matter however small.
No one is expecting that big bonfire of Chinese goods
only in the last week I chose to buy -
an Indian oximeter over a Chinese one
Indian paint compressor
Indian plastic bucket
Indian LED strip lights
& I will continue to make that deliberate choice in whichever way I can.
So please don’t let the cynics & professional nay-sayers get you down.

~Little victories,
Lead to bigger victories that affect the battle that eventually win the War.
Winning begins small~
Read 4 tweets
8 Jun
11th Jan 1985
7.30 pm
We received a call on our landline which worked 2 weeks out of 4 from my brother’s friend.

There had been an accident & both of them were at AIIMS.
A DTC bus with no headlights had rammed into their GTS.
Thankfully they were wearing helmets but my brother riding pillion, took the brunt of the impact.

Later we learnt that a taxi driver with the help of the bus passengers took both unconscious boys to AIIMS but dumped them at the Emergency entrance fearing police repercussions.
The friend, after coming to, had received first aid & was being discharged when he called me.
My brother, he said was lying unconscious, unattended, as he was considered unclaimed.
Read 19 tweets
6 Jun
The Anatomy Of An Indian Liberal
#BLM & Other Copy-Paste Projects …
Class - Privileged
First Language - English

Ashamed to be Hindu… erm…now modified to Human.
*as names of culprits known*

Because you wept for a pregnant elephant but not for that pregnant warrior, WhatsHerName ?* 😢
What a warrior !
Dilli Tere Khoon Se Inquilab Aega !

Poor thing! To combat tyranny, communalism, fascism she was compelled to instigate riots that killed 53 people.
Read 21 tweets
27 May
Let’s not even talk about the reams & reams of film roll on the French Revolution, the life & times of Henry VIII, Shakespeare’s classics & their many versions …

but only of the events of 20th C where, there are thousands of films in English & almost all European languages on
the Holocaust.

They cover every imaginable point of view -
the political, geographical, historical, anecdotal.

Stories of children, adults, concentration camp guards, a commandants family living amidst the horror, Kapo the Jewish prisoner functionaries.
They all have found a voice on celluloid. Even those that deny the Holocaust.

Similarly, the list of films & documentaries made on the assassination of President JF Kennedy is 17 pages long.

From every angle, be it his widow Jacqueline, the assassin’s wife, Mrs Harvey Oswald
Read 20 tweets
11 May
So first thing this morning our Supervisor calls me to say that from our team of 60+ 3 left on Saturday via cycles for their village in Bihar.
This, despite salaries, an advance for any untoward requirement plus a supply of dry rations.
Reason: 5 men who worked from 9 am-9 pm on most days had now been cooped for 40 days in a claustrophobic small rented quarter.
After taking turns to cook their meals, wash their clothes they had absolutely nothing to do except except stare at the ceiling or check their phones.
On 4th May, when the reopening of the factory still seemed remote, they had run the idea of leaving for their homes to the Supervisor who had managed to dissuade them, then.
Read 6 tweets
6 May
#RiyazNaikoo enjoyed spending time in his apple orchard & watching the apples scatter on the grass.
He didn’t come up with the Theory of Gravity because another Kashmiri boy had already cracked that.
So he tried his best to think up something smarter, but to no avail....
Till one day he said
‘Screw it’! & picked up the gun.
‘Not only will I look cool but some gushy journalist will call me a FB poster boy’.
After all, how many roses can one paint ?
Read 3 tweets
3 May
Must admit I was a bit apprehensive about this military show of appreciation for #CovidWarriors ....
And that press briefing with the COD & three Chiefs didn’t exactly help assuage the uneasy newness of it all.
This morning however, received a WhatsApp message requesting the conference call scheduled for 9.30 am among supervisors, contractors & myself to discuss work & the graded opening tomorrow to be postponed by 90 mins or whenever the flypast gets over !
The general reaction thereafter on the conference call was of awe & respect.

In the words of my two most articulate co workers....
- Itne bade afsirron ne aake itna samman diya. Mera bhai hospital main kaam karta hai aur 2 hafte se ghar nahi aaya hai
Read 7 tweets
22 Apr
A Soldier Remembers…


By late 1949 after the Kashmir debacle General Nathu Singh recommended the Army begin recruitment in full swing.

From the usual 800-1000 recruits during my time in 1952,
a serious recruitment drive pushed by General Thimayya saw the Artillery Training Centre, Nasik Road flooded with 4-5000 to be trained.
However, with insufficient barracks, training equipment, beds, camp cots, mosquito nets & clothing.…
Depots sent us shorts leftover from the WW2 campaign of North African deserts where it was extremely hot in the day & cold at night.
So instead of issuing a pair of trousers these shorts could be brought down below knee level at sunset & folded up & buttoned in the morning !
Read 30 tweets
20 Apr
While going through the opinion pieces of six regular columnists that appear in our national dailies you might wonder why didn’t they also get the pink slip as unceremoniously as the rest ?
For the past thirty years at least, these esteemed writers have dished out the same stuff on the same subject with a little weekly tweaking here & there.
The only obvious difference being that when they were previously apportioning blame, it would be on this, that, whoever but definitely not the Powers That Be.
Read 7 tweets
18 Apr
The thing about us Indians is, that we have been trained to believe that nothing good can happen here -

~See I told you the kerosene will run out
~See I told you they adulterate milk
~See I told you the job will be done if you pay up
~See I told you that the electricity meter can be fixed
~See I told you that kid will get way in the hit & run case
~See I told you black money would be back
Now the same cynical fixers who feasted on our ‘system’ & broke the spine of this country are wondering -

~Surely, India couldn’t have got it right !
~These guys were suppose to fall like flies !
Read 5 tweets
10 Apr
A loose translation of the five suggestions recently made -
(inspired from the Doyenne of Loose Translations, Ms. Truschke)
You don’t have to repeatedly remind us of the work you are doing & the progress India is making.
The citizens must be kept ignorant as this kind of expectation can irrevocably spoil them.
We get our news from ShakerFaker’s The Sprint.
The figure of ₹20,000crs is as reliable as that story of the tanks rolling through the heart of Delhi one foggy, January night…
but we will not let you refurbish, upgrade any colonial edifice, even if its 100yrs old.…
Read 7 tweets
2 Apr
And then some get it spot on!
Dr.Syed Rizwan Ahmed
Dr.Syed Rizwan Ahmed
Read 2 tweets
31 Mar
The Anatomy of an Indian Liberal
~Class~ Privileged.
Fridge & larder well stocked. Olives, chicken liver pate, caviar, halumi …
Plebeian provisions such as dal, atta, rice, oil - hoarded but unmentionable

~First Language~ English.

~Personal Statement~ Lets party!
BUT we are rooting for a LockDown!!!
~Opinion~ We’re screwed man.
Look at our slums. Modi is going to mess it up big time - we hope.

~Social Standing ~Working from home & partying.

What the heck, can afford to buy my own ventilator !

Anyways, following the New York #socialdistancing protocol.
Read 14 tweets