Thread by @enjohnston

In an op-ed I'm sympathetic to, this sentence implies an odd spectrum: "Empathetic viewers might want to see a character embrace her singleness, even if an actual lesbian pairing is too much to hope for." Historically, it seems...

washingtonpost.com/outlook/tomboy…

...clear that singleness was often chosen by those who could repress their desires, or who had no other choice. But it's by no means a spectrum, and independence/singleness can compel/befall those of any orientation.

This is one reason why turning all stories of tomboys into stories of trans boys (or lesbians) would be a loss, because the essential character mix is independence/energy/openness (all of which historically required a secondary allegiance to non-girly-ness).

To imply that that mix means someone is trans (or lesbian) is to place a tremendous amount of power out of the realm of all other girls. Fundamentally we're talking about wildness/naturalness here: untamedness, being driven by one's interests, urges, & affections, not convention.

I remember reading decades ago that when the ancient Greeks talked about virgins, they weren't speaking about a lack of sexual activity; they were speaking about women who weren't married/owned. I have no idea if this is true! But it fired my imagination, & was very useful to me.

As a child, I was too dreamy to be a tomboy, & not sure enough of myself. But I identified with the girls (& gentle boys) who thought for themselves & were thus ill at ease. (So did the writers of those girls; few stereotypically female women were novelists.) I *was* untamed.

All of this feels excruciatingly, if obliquely, relevant now, with an almost-avowed rapist in the White House, & states starting to outlaw abortion. I don't know how to weigh that against the profoundly freeing shifts, & the vastly increased discourse around sexuality & gender.

But I do know that we can't take a single thing for granted, & that even as we celebrate the richness of queer lives, we have to be fierce about expecting/urging *everyone* to be independent/open and gentle. Gender expectations were always a sign of an insecure social system...

and deeply frightened people, within those systems. These days, the stakes couldn't be higher—all our lives are on the line: women's, girls', queer, trans lives always were, but with climate breakdown beginning, openness and gentleness have never been more essential.

For better AND for worse, the rigid social systems we all inherited are teetering, and we have to find new ways forward, together. We'll either be a world of the desperate & the cruel, or we all have to be independent-minded & caretaking & vulnerable & brave, simultaneously.

(I suspect the writer of the op-ed might agree with much of this; it's not a quibble with her, the op-ed just served as a springboard for some thoughts that were, it seems, lurking.)

Fundamentally, SO MUCH is up for grabs right now, and that's a profound opportunity as well as a profound threat. The soul as well as the existence of humanity is on the line—and I'm more concerned about the former than the latter. The beauty is...

we need to work like never before, but *only on the things that really matter*: the life & beauty all around us, the ways we can be good to one another & learn how to thrive together. Fuck everything but decency & kindness!

In other words: #HappyPride2019, y'all. Be good people.