Martin Rowson Profile picture
Aug 17, 2019 4 tweets 1 min read Read on X
Incidentally, when I did a (non-poetic) turn at Edinburgh in 2014 just ahead of the IndyRef, I humbly proposed that rather than voting to leave the Union the Scots should do their level best to get thrown out. This remains my position on everything. Flouncing Out is for wimps...
The atrocity I proposed they commit to place them beyond the pale of the community of nations was to crucify 1000 English stand up comedians the length of the Royal Mile. If you forget the undying gratitude of humanity, this barbarism would guarantee instant pariah status. Alas..
...no one ran with it. But we’ve got time to try the same with The Brexit. What’s your favoured atrocity that would make the name of Britain synonymous with breathtaking barbarity for 10000 generations? Personally I’d go for the current cabinet being left in a duck pond with a...
...shoal of starving pike while school children pelt then with cakes. Tiberius nothing! But anything involving Gove, sheep & secateurs should have em barthing in Brussels before you can say “Cummings’ Crusty Gusset!”

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More from @MartinRowson

Mar 13, 2023
Right. So, I’ve known for years the BBC has been a brittle car crash of cowardly compromise & lickspittling grovelling by its higher management, who of course went to the same schools as the political class which perennially kicks it about like a sad stepchild in a sleeping bag
I know this because I was reared & educated in the same class, thanks to my embourgeoising through adoption. I also know that media/sports matrix overpaid celebs play the previous like a fucking Stradivarius, to levels so deeply embarrassing the homoerotic element’s the least…
…of it. So all this has just been the standard taunt/counter taunt which both fuels & lags all human interaction, & good luck to both sides, & fair play to the winner of the latest out. But if you could care less, what’s significant about this is the abject total complete…
Read 7 tweets
Mar 13, 2023
Actually, just to piss yet further paraffin on the bonfire of Peter Hitchens’ vanities, he’s right to a tiny degree: the NASDP, previously The Workers Party, which Hitler join & took over in the early 20s, had a “left-wing” element mixed into the maelstrom of ever shifting….
…ideological chaos in Weimar, fuelled by both the FreiKorps & the structural example set by the success of the Bolsheviks - hence all the Party bollocks & those lovely leather raincoats. However, any lingering anti-Capitalist “leftism”, represented by the Roehm wing of the…
…party concentrated in the SA, was literally wiped out on the Night of the Long Knives when Hitler killed them all, to avoid embarrassing his corporatist capitalist paymasters. Former Leninist Hitchens is either a liar, an idiot or just still a textbook Trot, good at entryism…
Read 4 tweets
Mar 11, 2023
The point, tho, is that the extraordinary wealth of talent employed by the BBC has been systemically sabotaged by its management ever since its inception, with the occasional exception marking its periodic “Golden Ages”. Otherwise it’s been a cavalcade if breaking the General…
…Strike, getting obsessively prissy about brand names or occasional smut, Bill Cotton pulling Dennis Potter plays minutes before they were due to air (aka The Bill Cotton Banned Show), pulling anything daring or slightly satirical, from That Was The Week That Was onwards….
…caving in repeatedly to bullying governments whenever a DG actually stood up to protect their journalists, be it Alastair Milne or Greg Dyke - the list of craven bureaucratic cowardices is almost literally endless. Now the (both Tory) Director General & Chairman seem hellbent..
Read 7 tweets
Jan 21, 2023
Last night I went to @Chartist48’s 1st annual editorial board dinner in 3 years. I’ve drawn for them since 1986, tho they stopped paying me around 10 years later, tho they paid for my dinner & I read them the poem which follows of several tweets. Can you guess who it’s about?
If…

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are telling you its contents don't inspire;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
Based on evidence that you’re a liar…
If you could say, when you stood for election.
That you’d do this or that, however crass,
While simultaneously, upon reflection,
Readying yourself for your volte face...
Read 13 tweets
Aug 11, 2022
I think we’ve know effectively established “Boris” Johnson’s credentials as a KGB sleeper agent, committed to fatally undermining the credibility of the Conservative Party, the British Establishment & Britain’s standing in the world, under the cover of being a lazy & selfish…
…pathologically lying bumbling fuckmonkey, a fiction maintained by the Tories up to & beyond his enforced resignation as admitting the truth would be simply too embarrassing. However, as his mission is now completed & even he recognised that turning up tomorrow in Moscow to…
…receive his Order of Lenin might look a tad de trop, he’s hanging around just to rub the Tories’ nose in the shit he’s left behind: still in office but not even pretending to do the job while the country burns prior to it freezing & starving to death. On many ways he’s played..
Read 8 tweets
Jan 15, 2022
Incidentally, if “Boris” Johnson weren’t the barely functioning instant-gratification junkie sack of sludge, he & his addled aides would big up the essential role of booze in politics. One 19th Century chancellor threw up over the despatch box during his Budget speech, Pitt…
…the Younger was permanently pissed, the whole Cabinet were drunk, half of them asleep, when Britain declared war on Russia in the Crimean War, Asquith was so pissed he gave a new word - “Squiffy” - to the language, Gladstone was often so hungover in the Commons he could…
…barely stand, Churchill famously fought off the “black dog” of depression by drinking champagne cocktails for breakfast, the leaders of the Coup against Gorbachev were drunk for a week while Yeltsin, who out manoeuvred them, was drunk for much longer than that. It was said…
Read 8 tweets

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