So, we're eating dinner at home tonight - beef stir fry, with vegetables. We admonish the twins to eat their veggies, per usual. Jack asks what the weird looking vegetables are and we tell him it's eggplant. He declares he will not under any circumstances be eating "eggplant."
His twin, Charles, sees this as an opportunity. He can now be The Good Twin. He says "I LOVE eggplant," waxes at length about how he is going to eat all of his. The two-year-old is eyeing the whole thing carefully, he's not ready to declare for a faction.
All throughout dinner, Charles will not stop talking about his love for eggplants. They're his favorite, he declares. We're not sure he's ever even had eggplant but we appreciate the sentiment.
To the two-year-old we uphold Charles as tonight's model for how he should approach vegetables and life in general. We notice, however, that as the meal has progressed Charles has conspicuously avoided eating any eggplant. Jack is being oddly circumspect about the whole thing.
Finally it's time. There's nothing left on Charles' plate. "I think it's time to eat your eggplant," mom says. Charles takes a deep breath. He stabs a piece with his fork. Eyes it. The last thing he says, before it all goes down, is "I love eggplant."
The eggplant goes into his mouth. He dry-heaves *immediately.* The force of the second heave ejects the slimy half-chewed eggplant bits back into his hand. Jack and William lose. their. shit.
Folks... Charles isn't done.
Folks... Charles isn't done.
The texture of the eggplant has broken something deep inside our sweet, happy, eager-to-please boy.
He vomits the remainder of the meal on his hand, his lap, the chair, the table. Nobody makes a sound, we are all frozen in horror, trying to process what is happening. Charles isn't crying, or even noticeably upset. He's just kind of... matter-of-factly puking all over himself.
Bri and I spring into action to clean it up before anything worse happens. The 2-year-old is just sitting there saying "what happened?" over and over again. Jack puts his fork down with a look on his face that says "see? I was right to not eat the eggplant."
Anyway that's how we found out that Charles doesn't like eggplant.
ps for more dumb stories like this, along with some "data" or whatever, check out my book! amazon.com/You-Lived-Here…
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