Thread by @feliciasonmez

When you speak out your experience of sexual assault, weird things start to happen — some are good, some are not so good. Here’s a story of a not-so-good one involving the actions of a prominent writer whose work I have admired, Caitlin Flanagan (@CaitlinPacific). 1/x

I thought about ignoring this episode, but I believe it is important for people to understand the costs associated with speaking out -- an issue @rtraister, @irin and @ameliaschonbek explore so powerfully in their @NYMag piece that published Monday. thecut.com/2019/09/the-to… 2/x

A bit of background: A few weeks ago, Ms. Flanagan went on an NPR program about the latest in the #MeToo movement. The host mentioned the case of Jonathan Kaiman, who lost his job at the L.A. Times after a three-month investigation. At one point, Ms. Flanagan said this: 3/x

I wrote Ms. Flanagan and NPR an email requesting some corrections to the web story and voicing my concern about Ms. Flanagan’s comments, which I believed were a mischaracterization of my allegations and my stated reasons for coming forward. Here’s what I wrote: 4/x

My reasons for coming forward, as I wrote when I first went public last year, were namely to warn people that Mr. Kaiman’s behavior was part of a pattern and to prevent other women from being harmed. 5/x

I shared my correction request on Twitter last month in the interest of transparency. Ms. Flanagan responded in a tweet: “But I wasn’t talking about you, Felicia.” In a follow-up tweet, she went into further detail: 6/x

A Twitter exchange followed, during which Ms. Flanagan stated she hadn’t read Ms. Yoffe’s piece before she appeared on NPR. I said that, as a journalist, I did not understand this decision. Here is how Ms. Flanagan responded: 7/x

Ms. Flanagan also went on to describe my correction request and my questions about her preparedness for the NPR interview as an “episode of derangement.” 8/x

After another exchange in which I told Ms. Flanagan I had no malice toward her, remained a fan and invited her to coffee, Ms. Flanagan replied that she would like to meet up. We messaged and I sent her some times that would work. 9/x

Ms. Flanagan came to DC and appeared on a panel about #MeToo at @TheAtlantic Festival, but didn’t get back to me about coffee. I figured that was the end of this whole episode. 10/x

Then, things got weirder. Late last week, I saw on Twitter that Ms. Flanagan had shared a link to her appearance on a podcast called @Femsplainers. A link to the podcast is here: ricochet.com/podcast/femspl… 11/x

Upon listening, I was stunned to find that Ms. Flanagan devoted a full 15 minutes of her remarks (14:30-30:00) to denigrating me, mocking my allegations and -- yet again -- making false claims about my reasons for coming forward. 12/x

This time, unlike on NPR, Ms. Flanagan repeatedly mentioned me by name. Here is one excerpt, in which she called me "a frightening person" and suggested I had come forward due to jealousy. (Needless to say, this was, erm, news to me.) 13/x

At one point, she described me as the "hellcat of all hellcats" (a word that I've learned means "a spiteful, violent woman"). She also suggested I'd raised concerns about her NPR interview out of “profound paranoia” and a desire for "vengeance." (This, too, was news to me.) 14/x

Other parts of the podcast were weird, too. Ms. Flanagan laughed about being "really badly prepared" for her NPR interview. And she claimed, incorrectly, that I was "papering all these people" that she "should be forced to apologize." 15/x

A reminder: All I did was request that Ms. Flanagan accurately describe my motivations for speaking out. 16/x

There was also the following exchange. To be clear, I did not “paper [Ms. Flanagan’s] boss.” The fact that she did not simply state this -- rather than responding "no comment," as if to suggest she had details she was not in a position to share -- strikes me as misleading. 17/x

To be fair, I'm not the only one Ms. Flanagan denigrated in this interview: She also said Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) is "an evil person." 18/x

And I’m not the only person about whom she got basic facts wrong: She also incorrectly claimed the Koch brothers supported Trump in 2016, before being corrected by one of the hosts. So I guess that’s some consolation. 19/x

Still, being the subject of these types of attacks -- and doing the work of debunking them and bringing them to light -- is not fun or thrilling. It is exhausting. And it's part of the long, frequently painful aftermath of coming forward. 20/x

I'm less worried about the statements by the co-hosts, one of whom describes herself on the @Femsplainers site as "the human embodiment of her favorite cocktail, a Kir Royale." But I am concerned that a journalist like Ms. Flanagan would echo the attacks of Internet trolls. 21/x

@Femsplainers Despite this not-so-good experience, there is one last thought I'd like to share. Last week, I got an email out of the blue from a woman who said that she, too, had experienced an incident involving Mr. Kaiman. She gave me her permission to share some excerpts from her note. 22/x

I froze when I read her message, overcome by a mix of profound gratitude to her for reaching out, as well as anger and sadness that Mr. Kaiman had harmed her. This brings to 10 the number of incidents of which I am aware. I imagine there could be more. 23/x

In conclusion: Speaking out matters. Trust yourself. Don't let others try to gaslight, bully or scare you, and don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice. I probably won't be going to Ms. Flanagan for advice anytime soon. 24/24