Chris Profile picture
Dec 30, 2019 17 tweets 4 min read Read on X
My favorite #Huskers football memory/moment from each year of the 2010s. (Think, not the best/worst, so much, as just the things I like to get drunk and discuss at length with my friends.) #GBR

A Thread.
2010: Taylor Martinez calling his Dad from the locker room on a burner phone during halftime of the Texas A&M game.

Was it actually a burner? No. Would I have kept a secret cellphone to secretly send out some Bo Pelini stories to someone? Yes.
Can you imagine how scathingly, insanely, napalm angry Bo must've been when he came around the corner and Martinez was like, "Oh, fuck. Gotta go, Dad..."

He probably shot magma directly from his eyes. Great story. Weird story. Endlessly fascinating moment.
2011: My wife and I just found out she was pregnant right before the Northwestern game. We weren't telling anyone, but I was so excited that when I went to get her some pregnancy-craving Mike & Ike's I told the concession worker.
"These are for my wife. She's pregnant."
"Oh..."

Shoutout to whomever that rando concession worker was for keeping a secret. They crushed it.
2012: This distilled, purified, batshit insane run by Taylor Martinez during the Big Ten conference championship game.



It showed everything that made him incredibly fun to watch.
This is how I imagine Bo drew up that play. Image
Please note: we also had, like, 4 wild come-from-behind wins that year. With Pelini, it always felt like we were teetering on the edge of something incredible or something insane.

Like watching a tight-rope walker do their first live show.
2013: the Hail Hairy.

Most people probably call it "The Westerkatch", but I was so excited about Westerkamp's unbelievable GW TD against Northwestern (& his 'stache) that I tried to start a campaign to get the Huskers staff to grow tribute mustaches in his honor. It didn't work Image
2014: Mike Riley is hired.

This under-the-radar gem, this uncut diamond of a hire goes on to propel Nebraska to re-energized, thoroughly dominant football that once again catapults them to the top of the landscape in all of sports.

JK. Lol. Rotfl.
2014: The crazy-ass almost win against USC in the Holiday Bowl with HCBC (*Head Coach, Barney Cotton*) at the helm. Tommy Armstrong threw for almost 400 yards, and I wrote a really suspect rap for John Papuchis.
Runner up from this year: Bo Pelini keeps getting that poop-mouth of his recorded. There was more undercover surveillance of him than John Gotti during this season.

This was truly one of the weirdest most/least fun seasons ever.
2015: Nebraska beats #6 Michigan State. The stadium immediately turns into a giant party. The person running the sound booth has their Michael Jordan moment and plays 'Let Me Clear My Throat' while a bunch of farmers and 19-year-olds twerk to DJ Kool.

It had been a rough year, we just got a stupid-lucky break from a bungled call.

And, yeah, that feeling during that song? It kind of felt like hope.
2016: We start out the year 7-0. We all secretly know we're not that good.

You know that guy who started dating a girl in 8th grade, she glowed up SUPER hard as a junior in high school, but he's still kind of a dork? That was us. We got super lucky & we knew it.
We basically did a 360 dunk on a basketball hoop, but then the camera pulled back to show the whole thing and...it was a 6-foot hoop. And we used a trampoline.

We stumbled our way through the final half of the season getting smoked by every team that was even kind of good.
2017: The Sweater that Bob Diaco wore to Mike Riley's firing. (What? It was a rough year.)

Also, can you imagine someone dripping with this much country-club-white-dude swag sitting across from you and you tell him to hit the bricks? Must've been amazing. Image

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More from @402_Chris

Mar 30, 2022
(Thread)

Bruce Willis announced that he's stepping away from acting due to an aphasia diagnosis.

About 12 years ago, my Dad had a massive stroke. He was diagnosed, shortly thereafter, with Aphasia. Here's a little bit what it's been like for us and for him.
First, I'll state the obvious: when it comes to matters of the brain and the human body, no two people seem to be alike. These are our experiences and in no way predictive of what the Willis family will go through or what Bruce himself will deal with.
Second: I'm far from medically inclined and I may miss on some of the details of his condition or get them wrong. I encourage all of you to go to aphasia.org for actual smart people saying actual smart things.
Read 34 tweets
Sep 21, 2020
National pundits trying to burn Nebraska football with some giant, curtain-pulling reveal of our mediocrity like the miserably predictable magicians that they are; ignoring the fact that we put the fucking rabbit in the hat backstage already.
Like, "Tah-Dah!" You guys had Mike Riley as a coach and have underperformed.

What a fucking revelatory move, David Blaine. Hell of a plot twist, considering we were in the writers room the entire time, you stumblefucking twits.
"Abra-Cadabra! You guys care way too much!"

Whoa, Houdini. My mind just blew the fuck out of my skull, like we're not B-Rabbit kicking our own ass and then handing them the mic to try to tell us how we over-Tweet and underwin.
Read 8 tweets
Sep 8, 2020
Psssh, I've been creating personal branding logos and more for the #Huskers for years.

For instance: take this microbrew I made for Shawn Eichorst. (*Rest in Power Big Eich!) Image
Or this original song I created for former Defensive Coordinator, John Papuchis:
Or this poster I made after Tanner Lee threw, like, 11 pick sixes in one season: Image
Read 7 tweets
Aug 13, 2020
Say what you want about Plies, but this hat is f-ing dope. Image
Damnnn...there's more. Image
Image
Read 5 tweets
Aug 11, 2020
Nebraska leaves the Big Ten, signs a streaming deal with Amazon -- giving them access to the program a la 'Hard Knocks' -- and giving NU a direct & unprecedented pipeline to proper medical supplies and merch distribution (I have no idea how this actually works, so bear with me).
They show a fully televised scrimmage, a 7-on-7s contest, and a skills challenge on consecutive weekends that enable the team to showcase themselves and enable Amazon to have an "Adults Only", swear-words/drinking encouraged broadcast of a game against Iowa after a few weeks.
They also feature Scott Frost and Mario Verduzco going one-on-one in both chess and beer pong. Iowa gets a $2,000,000 check for participating and Nebraska makes bank.

#Huskers #GBR #iknowitsliterallyimpossible
Read 5 tweets
Aug 4, 2020
RIP to the place that once sold me a case of Beer Thirty Light for $11.98.

Again, I bought an entire 30 cams of beer for under $12. And it tasted like it. Image
Beer Thirty Light, which has a STAGGERING 1.5 rating on a beer app. Image
And which -- and I'm sure this was purely in my own mind, but I can't shake the fact that it feels wholly accurate as I reflect on it now -- somehow TASTED purple, like the box. Image
Read 4 tweets

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