Q. I agree that people should be allowed to work for their last two weeks in most cases, but don’t you feel it’s necessary to walk someone out immediately if they’re going to a competitor? That’s what I’ve always heard.
A. No, of course not. When I ran HR for a greeting card company, people went to Hallmark or startup greeting card companies and we never walked anyone out. When I was at US Robotics, they went to Cisco or Juniper Networks. Same thing. No one got walked out
Why on earth would you switch in an instant from treating someone like a valued contributor to treating them like a criminal? That makes no sense at all. The worst argument in the world is “Well, now that they’ve given notice they could steal trade secrets.”
What? They were jobhunting for weeks or months BEFORE they gave notice. They could have stolen trade secrets during that time if they wanted to. Why would they? Don’t we as leaders trust ourselves to hire trustworthy people? If not, why not?
When somebody leaves a company where I am a leader to go to a competitor, I want to stay friends with them. Maybe they will come back. Maybe we will work together somewhere else in the future. Why would I antagonize them on their way out the door –
and send a signal to every other employee that I am a fearful manager who automatically assumes the worst of people? That would only encourage other people not to give notice. Stupid! There is so much stupidity in management practices these days
When someone quits, whether they’re going to a competitor or moving to Alaska we’re going to throw a party for them and thank them for everything and wish them well.
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Q. If my boss said that something I wore to the office was unsuitable for work (it wasn’t) is that her decision to make? Does she have the final say?
A. She probably does. It would be unusual for HR to side with an employee in a dress code policy disagreement, and even if they did, it wouldn’t help your relationship with your manager.
It’s one of those situations that forces you to take the long view and ask yourself, What did I come to this job to get - and how quickly can I get it, and move on?
It is normal to look for affirmation and acknowledgment at work. We are trained to do it. Since age 5 or six we have been taught to base our self-worth on what other people think of us, especially people in authority.
It’s great to get pats on the back, verbal praise and tangible signs of approval like promotions and pay raises but I don’t want you to rely too heavily on those things.
There’s a tremendous amount of fear in almost every workplace. At first, you’ll be praised for doing a good job but before long, your success will become aversive to people around you. They will try very hard to dim your flame.
Q. What about STAR interviews? Is that a good method?
A. If I try really hard I can imagine a situation where it could be helpful to coach a candidate just starting in their career on how to formulate the answer to an interview question.
In general, STAR interviewing is insulting nonsense. It says, “I’m going to ask you a question and when you answer I want your answer to come out in a particular way that I will explain to you now.” They want to structure your speech in case an interview is not structured enough already. It’s a power-unequal command, and that makes it fear based and inappropriate.
10 years ago I was asked to speak at an executive offsite, as the Friday night opening speaker before a weekend of meetings. The HR VP said, I want the opening ceremony and your talk to focus on the contributions of women in our firm.
OK, that sounds great, I said.
The CEO has already approved the offsite agenda, she said, but I’m going to run through it at the executive staff meeting tomorrow, too. I’ll check in with you afterwards and send over a contract.
The next day was a Friday, so I was not surprised that I didn’t hear from her after the executive staff meeting.
Once you know about employment at will, the harm it does to working people and the fact that it is unique to the US you can’t unknow these things. You can’t hold team building events anymore, because asking people to commit to the team when you won’t commit to them is unethical.
Asking people to disclose their feelings about the job and their heartfelt observations about what’s working and what’s not working is unethical, because it puts employees even more at risk than they were before.
Asking them to brainstorm about how to work together more effectively in the face of employment at will is ludicrous, insulting and wrong.
Your employer wants you to pretend there’s no issue and the fact that the organization is run through fear is no big deal.
It is a huge deal. Our behavior shifts, imperceptibly on a day to day basis but massively over time, as we try to survive and get along in a fear-based environment.