Q. If my boss said that something I wore to the office was unsuitable for work (it wasn’t) is that her decision to make? Does she have the final say? A. She probably does. It would be unusual for HR to side with an employee in a dress code policy disagreement, and even if they did, it wouldn’t help your relationship with your manager.

It is normal to look for affirmation and acknowledgment at work. We are trained to do it. Since age 5 or six we have been taught to base our self-worth on what other people think of us, especially people in authority. It’s great to get pats on the back, verbal praise and tangible signs of approval like promotions and pay raises but I don’t want you to rely too heavily on those things.

Q. What about STAR interviews? Is that a good method? A. If I try really hard I can imagine a situation where it could be helpful to coach a candidate just starting in their career on how to formulate the answer to an interview question.

10 years ago I was asked to speak at an executive offsite, as the Friday night opening speaker before a weekend of meetings. The HR VP said, I want the opening ceremony and your talk to focus on the contributions of women in our firm. OK, that sounds great, I said.

The CEO has already approved the offsite agenda, she said, but I’m going to run through it at the executive staff meeting tomorrow, too. I’ll check in with you afterwards and send over a contract.

Once you know about employment at will, the harm it does to working people and the fact that it is unique to the US you can’t unknow these things. You can’t hold team building events anymore, because asking people to commit to the team when you won’t commit to them is unethical.

Asking people to disclose their feelings about the job and their heartfelt observations about what’s working and what’s not working is unethical, because it puts employees even more at risk than they were before. Asking them to brainstorm about how to work together more effectively in the face of employment at will is ludicrous, insulting and wrong.

Your employer wants you to pretend there’s no issue and the fact that the organization is run through fear is no big deal.

Terrible Career Advice, Part One

1. Never burn a bridge

Translation: you have no power in your life, and never will; be afraid of literally everyone

2. Just get the offer – you can always turn it down

(Waste time letting ppl suck your soul dry to get an offer you don’t want) 3. Find a good company & stick with it

Instead, get the treasure at each job and take it with you to the next level in your video game

4. Be a great employee to make yourself layoff proof

Great employees get laid off every day. Become marketable instead, and build a 2nd income

One thing you notice about a lot of ex-bosses is that if they reconnect with you after a period of time they assume your former, hierarchical relationship still holds. They might invite you to join them for lunch, pick the restaurant and inform you of the date and time, e.g. Or you might meet them for coffee and they will talk to you like you still work for them, like nothing has changed. They may not even be aware of it. That’s how embedded the boss-subordinate dynamic is in the institution of employment.

It’s a horrible thing to work for an evil boss, but it’s time to stop labeling evil bosses narcissistic and ending the conversation there. The scariest part about the evil boss phenomenon is that almost anybody can turn into an evil boss under sufficient pressure. Mean, power-hungry, fearful and hostile bosses are part of the machine. They come with the territory.

They aren’t anomalies, and they weren’t born that way.

They don’t know they are evil. That’s why they’ll blithely send you a lunch invitation after you escape their clutches.

Q. I was always told that you should never ask for a raise because your boss should see your great work and give you the raise without you having to ask for it. A. I’ve heard that too. It’s terrible advice. It’s the ultimate low-power strategy: Don’t ask for the raise you deserve and wait until your boss gives you the raise or you eventually stop working, whichever comes first.

Q. Hi Liz, my performance review was eight months late. My manager finally emailed me a one page document that took him maybe ten minutes to write. No conversation at all, but I got a 2.8% pay increase. Do they have to make that retroactive to my review date, eight months ago? A. Sadly, no. Your job now is to gather all the résumé fodder you can between now and the day you leave that job. Take advantage of every opportunity to learn new tools, take on new projects and get to know other people.

Q. I don’t mind being straight with a recruiter who pushes for information I’m not comfortable sharing, like my current salary or which other companies I’m talking to. It’s harder to do with the hiring manager because they will be my boss if I get this job. How do I set that boundary? A. Every job search includes a bit of reinvention – some job searches include a lot of it. You are stepping into a new version of yourself on this job search. This new version of you is more comfortable than previous versions were setting appropriate boundaries.

Our “modern” design for work is killing us

1. Obsession with individual performance metrics
2. Blame and shame culture
3. Management through fear, threats and intimidation
4. Employment at will
5. Everyone is replaceable mindset
6. Continuous cost cutting, focused on payroll 7. Constant evaluation, monitoring and surveillance
8. No boundary between work and life allowed
9. Getting paid fairly requires changing jobs, yet
10. “Job hoppers” are suspect
11. Continual improvement expected of employees; no accountability for employers

Q. I have no career. I’ve only had jobs. There’s no obvious through line. Am I doomed to entry level jobs forever? A. Not at all. Get a journal and a cup of tea or whatever you like to drink and think about what kind of non-entry-level job you want. Look at what you love to do and what you’re good at, and think about what kinds of problems you like to solve.

20 things you can negotiate in a job offer – apart from your salary

There is more to negotiate in your job offer than just your base salary. Depending on the job, one or several of these options may be more valuable to you than a higher base salary – or an alternative if your hiring manager can’t offer the salary you want.

1. Your job title

2. Your vacation allowance

3. Flexibility around working remotely

There’s a lot of hype in management/HR circles right now around the notion of “creating psychological safety” at work. Let’s talk about why this concept, in the US at least, is trash - and harmful to working people. Every working person in the USA except union members and executives with individual employment contracts is an at-will employee.

Q. Liz, what can I do to improve my company's culture?

A. Here are nine ideas:

1. For jobs that can be performed from home, let employees decide when to work from home and when to commute. You hire adults. They can decide for themselves where to work.

(thread) 2. For every employee, make work hours as flexible as possible. There is no reason for everyone to start at the same time and leave at the same time. This is a holdover from the factory era.

I made money babysitting as a teenager, but eventually I needed more money.

I knew having a job could be a pain because I heard my older siblings talking about problems they had on their jobs. I steeled myself and got a job.

I noticed that when one of my coworkers spoke up about working conditions or challenged the manager on anything, no matter how meek or well-intended their input was, they got in trouble or got fired.

Q. Hi Liz, how do I politely give my boss an ultimatum (either I get a 15% raise or I quit)? A. It would be reasonable to calmly and professionally tell your boss, "I understand that your payroll budget is limited but if I can't get paid $X here I'll need to look for another job," but most managers lack the ability to accept that message graciously.

Q. How can I make performance reviews for my team as impactful as possible? A. You don’t need to do performance reviews. You can meet, strategize, brainstorm, make a game plan and sync up on priorities. None of that requires assessing anyone’s performance.

Q. We have a management job open. (I'm the Staffing Manager.) There are two internal candidates but the hiring manager also wants to interview some external candidates. One of the internal candidates is on the hiring committee and will be conducting interviews. That's bad, right? A. Let's back up. If you have two internal candidates, the hiring manager should interview both of them and make a decision about whether to hire one of them or keep looking. A run-off between internal candidates and external candidates nearly always

I hire consultants to help me with projects. We talk on the phone or via Zoom. We agree on the work to be done. We execute a contract. Then we say, let’s chat in a couple of weeks (or whatever timeframe). The next time we talk, I don’t ask them:

Why didn’t you work last Friday? I saw on IG you were at the beach.

What were you wearing when you did the work for me?

Are you aware that someone in our company said you were abrupt with them in the elevator?