I've been reading a ton of original comedy pilots for the #wgasolidaritychallenge-- or I should say I've been reading SOME of them, because the truth is I do stop reading when I mentally pass. In the spirit of constructive criticism, here are a few reasons I stop reading...
- Casting breakdown character descriptions before page 1. I have never read one of these. It seems like homework and if I can't figure out who the characters are from the script, good night and God bless!
- Alarm clock buzzes leading to morning routine (h/t @Eden_Eats)
- Alarm clock buzzes leading to morning routine (h/t @Eden_Eats)
- Boss assembles the whole company into the conference room to announce the big promotion yet no one knows who's getting it because it's a SURPRISE! Our hero thinks it's her/him but guess what? It's someone else!! (This is not how promotions work. It's not a game show.)
- The year is 2005 and this is the story of me when I was a kid in 2005. My parents were the worst! (I mean, this could be good but you have no idea how many times I've seen this set up!)
- SERIES OF SHOTS. I get that you're visualizing the edit but this isn't a shooting script.
- SERIES OF SHOTS. I get that you're visualizing the edit but this isn't a shooting script.
I will add more as I think of them. Feel free to add your own reasons you stop reading.
- The biggest one which I discussed in another thread is nothing happens. It’s the leisurely shoe leather pace that just doesn’t fly anymore. Maybe half hour tv isn’t a haiku but it’s not a saga either. Sonnet? The point is you have, I don’t know, 3,000 words? Choose wisely!
- Mundane subject matter. I like Better Things and Casual but your slice of life relationship dramedy better have some pretty stellar pov or I’m gonna be like I don’t need to turn on the tv for this. Not everything is a good idea for a series!
- Half hour drama. I know Hulu isn’t asking for high laugh per page counts in 1/2 hour but seconding what @patsweetpat said, maybe try to land a couple jokes? A sample with successful joke writing will get your hired all day long even if the script doesn’t work for other reasons.
- Lack of command. Not to sound like this is S&M but I WANT to be told what to do, TAKE me on the journey, TEASE and WITHHOLD my satisfaction, SURPRISE me, then bring it all together for the CLIMAX. Okay that was dirtier than I planned.
A little digression because I’ve been thinking about what @patsweetpat said about how comedy is hard and you see drama writers say oh I couldn’t write comedy because they know it’s hard too but I think there’s a disconnect for some of the people trying to write comedy...
... I think some unsuccessful comedy scripts fail because the writer didn’t STUDY what makes things funny. You can’t have three generic friends sit on a couch playing video games and say jokes...
I mean, you can, but it’s usually not super funny (people who can do this are the aforementioned super rich JOKE WRITERS). There are a million complex variables to humor but it’s not impossible to learn! It’s more than dialogue, it’s more than set up and pay off...
... it’s unique character world view and unexpected plot twists and callbacks and so many more things that are hard to list and teach but easy to recognize and learn if you watch great comedy and pay attention...
So I guess this digression/rant is yes comedy is hard but recognizing that is the first step to writing funny and learning how to do hard things is worthwhile and fulfilling if you take the time and make the effort to get good at it. So don’t be lazy! If it’s a dramedy fine but
if it’s a comedy then make it funny and learn how to do that before you send out the script! End digression/rant. Back to my list of reasons I stop reading scripts...
- Too many characters too soon. Unless they have super specific voices I’m just gonna be like who what wait which one no I didn’t read your character breakdown
- Passives characters. Proactive characters drive the action because they WANT something and make CHOICES to get it. Action reveals character and choices give us point of view. Plus stuff happens!
- No B story/no POV shift. Discussed in another thread but hero is in every scene and supporting characters are underdeveloped.
- Page count! Yes, everyone looks at the page count first and I'll be honest, I will put down a 39 page single cam and pick up a 31 page one. I know it's not a shooting script and yes Netflix will let your 1/2 hour run time be 34 minutes if you beg but come on, 39 pages?
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