The mall has a staff entrance because it's ridiculously fancy like that. Even though it's "staff" only, Keith still always feels out of place when he uses it. He's too rough around the edges--very aware of his status and where he came from.
"My fault," the man says. "Are you sure you're alright?"
"Right," Keith says, feeling kind of wrongfooted. He hadn't expected a smile. Certainly not one that looked real. "Sorry again."
It takes a second for Keith to realize he's doing the alpha "at ease, you're safe here" scent emission, and it throws him for another loop.
"Have a good day," he says, giving Keith another smile that looks...soft. "I'll see you around."
It's only after he's clocked in does he connect the dots that the man couldn't have been a customer. It's the staff entrance. He had to be some sort of staff.
Or wanting something else.
Keith finishes clocking out and does his usual rush to the door, his best method to keep anyone from really noticing him, but maybe limping a little, because his ankle still hurts from the morning and then he spent all day standing on it.
Keith looks up.
It's the alpha from before.
Shiro's smile grows impossibly brighter. "It's nice to meet you, Keith."
Shiro nods. "Well, I won't keep you any longer. I'm sure you had long day. I hope you have a good night."
"Um, yeah. You too."
Shiro waves again and then walks away. Just like last time. Leaving Keith alone.
He can't help remembering a smile, a calming scent, and being waved to.
Shiro's favorite cafe is directly across from a pretty little local park only a block from his work. He likes going there every morning before work, getting his usual latte, picking out a pastry, and then taking a seat by the window.
He's pretty, with messy black bangs and a lean figure, but Shiro mostly notices him because he's wearing the uniform valets at his work wear.
He's struck with the urge to go over and say hello. Offer him breakfast.
Shiro also gets a noseful of his scent; sharp and sweet and /omega/ and riding the line of anxious and upset.
Huh.
Shiro makes a note to keep an eye out for him. Just to make sure he's okay.
The omega is there at the park every morning now. He walks over to the bench and sits, sometimes he walks further into the park itself, but Shiro gets to see him every morning.
By the end of the third week, some birds practically hop into his lap.
The omega only will ask certain people about their dogs. Everyone else, dog or no, he'll look away from, ducking his head and hunching in on himself.
Usually, right after he does so, Shiro will see another person --often men, often /larger/ men-- sit down where the omega just vacated
Shito is not ashamed of being an alpha, but he is often ashamed (and infuriated) by how other alphas will act.
Until the morning that they collide--literally.
And Shiro meets Keith.
Keith wakes up and his ankle hurts, to the point that standing up has him gritting his teeth in pain.
A positive of his little studio apartment; he doesn't have far to hobble to get to his bathroom.
It's hard and it hurts, but he makes it. His stop is an early one, so at least there's a seat for him.
Keith has learned to always be aware.
Time drifts.
"Keith?"
Keith nods. He's always okay. "Yeah, fine." Then to change the subject, "uh, g'morning."
Keith shrugs and ducks his head. "As I'll ever be." He doesn't know why Shiro keeps wanting to talk to him.
But he's also not setting off any alarm bells. Yet.
But fuck, he's terrible at small talk. "What about you? Are you ready?"
Shiro grins. "Yeah, I think so. My day's already started out well."
"Oh? Uh, that's nice."
"Okay," Keith says dumbly. /I hope?/
But he can't dwell on it anyway. He's got work to do.
He stands, and winces.
"Fine! I'm fine. Just...stepped wrong." The last thing Keith wants to do is show weakness. Especially to an alpha. Even one who has been nice, and polite, and smells warm. "I'm fine now."
"Right," Shiro says, voice firm. "I'll walk over with you. I'm heading that way anyway."
Fuck--that--/no./
Distract. Distract. "So where do you work, then?"
Of course he does, Keith thinks, stomach dropping. The luxury accessory and scenting shop. The sales associates there are almost as high class as the clientele they serve.
"Oh," Keith says feebly. "That's...nice."
Keith nods. He still had no idea why Shiro is even giving him the time of day.
But he continues to do so. Keith clocks in and then steels himself. Is this where Shiro pushes? Is this where he shows his hand?
"I hope you have a good day, Keith," he says softly.
"Thanks," Keith manages around a dry throat. "Um, you too."
It make Keith's cheeks heat, and he hurries away before he can think too much about why.
Keith is counting down the minutes until his day is over. He's essentially been standing on one leg for the last couple hours of his shift, because putting weight on his ankle really fucking hurts.
He has to stop and breathe three times on the way there, which does not bode well, considering he's not even close to being done walking for the day.
It'll be fine.
He inhales quietly through his nose. Of course it would be Shiro.
He looks up just longer enough to verify, then ducks his head again. "Yeah. Fine."
The tone is hard to interpret. Shiro is starting a fact, not asking a question. He still sounds hesitant though. As if uncertain as to how Keith will react to him knowing.
Keith has never met anyone, certainly no alphas, who have behaved like Shiro does.
If he's unlucky...
His throat is so dry.
Keith lets out the breath he was holding and slumps. He wants to go home.
But he's going to wait, isn't he.
He just...he could use some calm.
Keith stares at the cane. "What?"
"To help you move easier," Shiro says, sounding kind. "I'd like to help you get to where you need to go, but I understand if you'd prefer I didn't."
The smile turns into a grin. "Hey, me too. Now it's your turn, right?"
"My turn?"
"To get better."
"I know," Shiro says gently. His hands are behind his back again. "You kind of always have to be fine when the world isn't nice to you."
Oh.
Maybe Shiro does know about it more than most.
And Shiro looks for all the world like he's not judging, but that he understands how it can feel when life isn't kind.
Keith swallows and drops his gaze.
Shiro holds up a hand. "Why don't you give it back to me when you're feeling better. Okay?'
"Take as long as you need," Shiro says. "You know where to find me." Then he winks.
Keith goes hot again, but for a completely different reason. Who actually winks? "Thanks."
Keith makes it to the bus stop. Catches his usual bus. Makes it home.
It makes him scowl, once he realizes what he's doing. He's never needed anyone's approval before. He certainly doesn't care about making anyone else proud of him.
Maybe it would mean more if that person understood how hard it could be to keep trying.
If you know you can't get what you want, there's no point in wishing.
After three days of wrapping his ankle, keeping weight off of it whenever he could, and walking so slowly it made him twitchy, his ankle starts feeling better.
"Good night, Keith. Feel better." accompanied by a wash of calm.
"Thanks for letting me know," Shiro says, lips quirked just a little. "I probably would have worried, otherwise."
"Good." The smile is back. "You could use a rest. Maybe spend some more time off your feet?"
"Good," Shiro says again. He sticks his hands on his pockets. "Well, I won't keep you then. Have a good night, Keith. Be safe, okay?"
"Thanks." Safe. Shiro cares about Keith being /safe/. "You too."
His ankle gets better. He returns Shiro's cane.
Shiro continues to say hi to him every morning anyway, always with a smile.
"I didn't say anything," Keith mumbles.
"It's a nice day to wind down in the evening, or spend an afternoon," Shiro cheerfully explains. "I'll go for a couple hours taking different dogs out."
"Yeah? You should come some time," Shiro says.
"Or maybe you could do it for a place closer to you," Shiro says. And then he starts talking about some of his favorite dogs, complete with visual aids, thanks to the pictures he always takes.
Keith takes a deep breath, not even caring that he's not being subtle. He wants a nose full of Shiro's scent right now. "Yeah. Fine."
"Fine like at least no one's fucking touching me anymore," Keith mutters, trying and failing to keep Shiro from hearing the brunt of how upset he is.
Keith ducks his head. God, he shouldn't have said anything, but Shiro makes him feel comfortable enough that it felt like he could. "Just stupid alpha bullshit."
He picks up his head to apologize and nearly rears back. Shiro's expression has turned dark and dangerous. "What happened?"
"Not upset with you," Shiro quickly amends. "Just upset. No one should be touching you if you don't want them to be."
"I should go. I need to make my bus."
Shiro shakes his head, voice sad, but not pitying. "It doesn't have to be."
"Sorry," Keith gets out the next day. He'd been up for hours playing over what had happened in his head, and had fine to the conclusion that he had overreacted. Shiro's been nothing but nice. It's Keith who has the hangups. "About yesterday."
Keith hopes Shiro doesn't ask what he's sorry for though. Keith's not sure he KNOWS, exactly. Just that he made Shiro feel shitty, and that wasn't fair.
"Thank you?"
"For the apology. It really... wasn't necessary, but I appreciate it." Shiro smiles gently, always gently. "You look tired."
Keith shrugs.
Keith...had not been expecting that. "What?"
Keith worries at his lip. "A little sweet?"
"That is... a lot of options. Is coffee supposed to be so complicated?"
Shiro laughs. "I'm sure a lot of baristas wonder the same thing. I'm guilty of liking some complicated stuff myself though."
"I like caramel," he admits. He sometimes will buy those little bags of caramel chews and dole them out to himself as treats.
"Okay," Keith says, suddenly stuck by the fact that Shiro's going to go buy him a coffee. "Thank you."
Shiro winks. "Thank me if you like it."
Shiro knows intellectually that there are lots of people out there who have had rough times. He’s one of them, if he is willing to be honest about it.
Keith felt that Shiro was worth apologizing to.
It's just another another stupid thing about the biology he's been forced to work with, but omega suppressants are considered controlled substances, so Keith is oh so lucky to have to call both his doctor and the pharmacy every month to get a refill.
"What do you mean I need to make an appointment to come in? I've been on this script for almost a year."
Keith fumes, but what can he do? He makes the appointment. Next Monday. It's currently Tuesday.
Fuck.
He still feels dread settle in his gut Wednesday morning, as he takes his last pill.
He thinks of something else. Positives.
Shiro always insists on paying also, which. Keith doesn't want to read too much into it but
Probably more than he's ever liked anyone.
Keith weakly clutches at his phone, shoving it into his pocket as he trots over to him.
Shiro shoots him a sly look. "Pot? Kettle."
Keith flushes and mutters something disparaging and doesn't WORRY about doing so, especially because Shiro just laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners.
not be afraid.
Shiro doesn't count.
Keith grits his teeth. He's not a stranger to this type. "Parking today?"
Blond still doesn't let go. "Be careful with her."
The man grins at him and finally releases his hand. He nudges the other two as Keith goes around to the driver's side and gets in.
Half an hour until he's off, and Keith can't wait to go home. He doesn't feel good. His head hurts, an ache behind his eyes that makes him want to close them-- but closed eyes means being vulnerable and he can't--
He's hot, too many smells--
Too cold, and he wishes he could just curl up in a ball
Oh.
The three men from before have finished their shopping. They're coming to get the car.
The blond holds out the ticket.
"I'll be right back with your car, sir."
The man's smile has too many teeth.
Keith goes to get the car.
Keith checks the time, relieved to see that his shift is actually over. As soon as he's done with this handoff, he can clock out.
Maybe he'll see Shiro before he does. He usually does now. There see each other every night before Keith heads to the bus stop.
Distance. Respect. Space.
His head hurts. He needs to get out of this car.
The blond alpha catches it, fingers curling around the frame. Keith hadn't noticed him get close.
All three of them are close.
He needs to get the fuck out of this car.
He stands up, pushing forward just a little, trying to get some space. The blond plucks the key fob out of his fingers, still holding open the driver's side door.
He walks straight into one of the others. Tall, tan, dark hair. White teeth.
His hand closes around the front of Keith's shirt and pulls him forward, off balance, as the third man yanks open the back door.
Shiro spends most of his shift waiting for it to be over. Not because it's a bad day-- it's a pretty typical one. But at the end of his shift, he gets to see Keith. And he kind of can't wait to see Keith.
Something had seemed different.
Mostly because Keith hadn't said that Shiro could.
But today was different.
Nowadays the distance is an ache.
No harm in checking.
--and Keith, that's Keith's scent, shot through with panic and terror--
he also watches a car speed away.
no.
No no no no /no/
NO
all he can see is red
inaudible to anyone not an alpha currently shaking apart
from underneath the valet booth.
It takes an inhuman effort not to scramble over to the valet booth at once, but the tiny, still-rational part of Shiro’s brain knows that arriving suddenly and still livid is the last thing Keith needs.
“Keith?”
There’s blood on his mouth.
A second ticks by, then another, and then Keith nods.
Another long moment of silence. Keith swallows and opens his mouth. “Just you?”
“Okay,” Keith says quietly, ducking his head. Not in fear--
in shame.
“Okay,” Keith says again, barely an exhale.
He doesn’t touch him.
Keith shudders but nods. “Yeah,” he whispers. “Okay.”
He hates himself for noticing.
Shiro takes a deep breath-- and inhales Keith's heady scent unfurling in the enclosed space.
"Yeah." Keith's voice is quiet and dull. Flat.
Keith looks up at him, something achingly vulnerable in his expression.
"If that's okay," Shiro quickly amends.
But he can't leave Keith alone yet. He can't.
Just walk him to his door and make sure he's safe and he-- he won't reach out and touch, he won't--
His hands are shaking.
Keith shakes his head. "No, it--fuck, it doesn't matter. Of course you don't, I-- I didn't-- fuck, I didn't--"
Keith doesn’t remember how he actually gets into his apartment, nor does he fully register stumbling across the little studio to his bed.
“Good,” Shiro praises. “That’s good. Go and use your favorite, okay?”
He can make it to the bathroom. A shower sounds good.
Keith takes a breath and goes.
“Drink something?”
Keith holds his breath.
Fuck.
“I didn’t--I don’t--” it’s hard to breathe and he wants Shiro to touch him and it makes sense, it makes sense that he’s feeling so awful and getting more attention, god he’s so-- “I haven’t had one in years. I--”
“Keith--”
“Keith--!”
“Keith!”
Keith can deal.
He refuses to acknowledge hot, hot tears.
“No,” he whispers, voice thick. “Please don’t.”
It’s nice.
“Nothing since then?”
“Or we could just see how you’re feeling after the snack,” Shiro says. “How about that?”
“Are you sure?” Keith can be a person. And it’s his apartment. He’s the host. “I can do it.”
Keith's certainly not going to deny Shiro something so small. The thought of doing so makes his stomach hurt worse. “Okay. If you want to.”
“Can I--”
He stops. Is he allowed to ask?
Right. Right, yeah. It’s /his apartment/. He can do what he wants to his bed.
He’s allowed.
Shame claws at his throat.
notunworthynotalone-- “That sounds good,” he manages. “Thank you.”
For all that Keith’s thoughts and wants and warnings are jumbled up in his head, he still goes hot with embarrassment when Shiro sits down on Keith’s poor excuse for a nest, hanging back because there is… a very specific place he wants to sit.
He clenches and unclenches his fists, knuckles still hurting from the wrong kind of attention.
That’s the attention he’s used to.
But it means he's all rough and tumble now, bruises and black eyes, and he…
He does. He wants to.
Keith goes.
“I--what?”
“Why don’t we drop the subject? But if you have any other questions, please ask them. I won’t be mad.”
“‘Kay.” Keith rubs his face into Shiro’s shirt again.
Keith opens without thinking.
“Keith…” Shiro’s voice is even and careful. “When was the last time you shared a heat with someone by choice?"
“Never?
“No.”
Keith turns to ice.
“Kay.”
“While I do that, can you eat a little more for me?”
“Yeah, okay.” He’ll try.
“Good job,” Shiro says. He sounds so /pleased/. “Thank you.”
"Yeah," Keith says shakily.
Another uncontrollable trill bubbles out of Keith.
Keith starts to shiver again once they’ve both eaten, as if now that that imperative has been fulfilled, his body has remembered that it wants other things. He still doesn’t feel like his nest is right though, and he doesn’t want to be in it until it is.
Keith sags with disappointment. The nest doesn’t feel done yet.
Keith’s lips part. “You don’t?”
“As long as you don’t mind me being around you in just an undershirt.”
“Keith?” Shiro asks, and his voice sounds very far away.
Shiro is far away.
His alpha doesn’t /want/ him--
Keith jolts, opening his eyes. They burn, but he’s ignoring that. “Yeah?” His voice cracks, and he ignores that too.
“H-huh?”
“Of course.”
“It’s… it’s good?”
“Alpha,” he gasps, baring his neck as his brain turns foggy.
Shiro had been 22 when he’d lost his arm to his disease. At the time, it was sacrificing his arm that prolonged his life. It was his final consent that took his arm from him, but it also hadn’t been much of a choice at all.
Keith stills, eyes bright. “Then please? Please, I-I’ll be good.”
Oh, /fuck/.
And he’d purred for Shiro.
Again he bares his neck.
When Keith sighs into it, Shiro takes a breath and nuzzles him, brushing his lips over Keith’s skin.
They’re Shiro’s favorite scents.
“Keith?” Shiro whispers. “Baby, are you with me?”
Shiro closes his own eyes.
God.
Just like this.
Even like this, Keith doesn’t feel caged in.
“Mhm.”
So far, Shiro has kept every single promise he’s ever made, to Keith.
But wow, Shiro is beautiful, isn’t he?
“Hey Hunk,” Shiro says quietly. “Thanks for coming. I really appreciated it.”
Keith kind of likes him.
“That’s enough thanking! We’re good, we’re good. Bye!” And then, a little louder, “Um, feel better!”
The fresh bread scent goes warmer, pleased if also maybe a little embarrassed. “You’re, uh, you’re welcome!” Another goodbye, and Hunk hurries away.
but…
/Oh/
For all that the media loves to salivate over and romanticise omega heats, the reality is very different. No omega is going to just drip insatiably for any alphahole that leers in their direction.
It’s a much lesser known secret that “drying up” is incredibly, viscerally painful.
“Yeah,” Shiro says softly. “Yeah, of course.”
Wants Shiro to hold him.
Tries not to pull Keith even closer.
“Shiro, it’s okay,” Keith says, sounding pained. “You don’t have to… try to make me feel better.”
Keith gasps. “I--”
Something in Keith sings as he throws his arms around Shiro’s neck and pulls him closer, pulls Shiro back on top of him and feels his big, strong body all along his own as the kiss goes on and on, turns into more and more.
so warm.
Keith comes to, to the feeling of being cradled, and blinks through cotton-candy darkness to open his eyes.
Keith ducks his head, blushing. It’s strange to hear Shiro so earnest still, without the heat of the moment.
“My pleasure,” Shiro says, before pressing a cool kiss to Keith’s forehead. “Now you should definitely drink something, probably eat something. And maybe… do you want to wash up?”
“Yeah, okay. Thank you.”
Keith swallows his mouthful, shyness coming back. It’s… weird to think of how Shiro’s friend knows about him.
“Yeah, um. That’s fine. You can… you can tell him I’m okay.”
“I will.”
“Do you want anymore?”
“Okay,” is all Shiro says. “Let me get your plate.”
Startled, Keith jerks his head up at Shiro’s voice, not realizing that he’d come back. “Nothing.”
Keith huffs and shakes his head. “Nothing important.”
“Oh,” Keith says quietly.
And he can feel Shiro relax, as he does so.
Keith gets a little lost in the kissing, head going blissfully blank, fuzzy around the edges in a way that’s pleasant instead of disconcerting. Shiro smells amazing and holds Keith just right, and Keith’s pretty sure he’s the luckiest person in the world, right now.
Keith stares at him. That sounds like Shiro wants to /help/.
God, the idea of being bathed sounds so /good/ though. He doesn’t--he doesn’t want to miss out. “I…”
Or “tonight.”
What happens?
“You changed clothes,” Keith says dumbly. Shiro’s not wearing his undershirt or his suit pants anymore. Instead he’s in a white tank top and a pair of loose flannel bottoms.
“A little, yeah.”
“Um, yeah.”
Keith nods shakily, gripping his phone. “Right, yeah. That makes sense.”
“There you go,” Shiro says quietly, nuzzling into his hair. “You did it. Good job.”
Keith hopes that extends to after his heat, not just after tonight.
He really wants it to.
Keith steeles himself. “And… after?”
Keith nods.
What--?
Shiro swallows. “I’m… I’m really happy to hear that.”
“Not just today,” Keith says, all his thoughts finally bubbling to the surface. “But for months. Just talking with you and being with you and... Since we met.”
Shiro’s answering smile is shy and watery, but it could rival the sun. “Okay.
Thank you so much for reading & coming with me on this serial fiction adventure. It was great to see you all enjoy my story🙏😭
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