Thread by @emperorguk

AU where Taehyung reluctantly agrees to go to the vampire bar across town with Jimin, just to keep an eye on him. While there, Taehyung so happens to catch the eye of notorious vampire, Jeon Jeongguk, who has humans falling at his feet left and right.

Taehyung... not so much.

“The vampire on the throne over there keeps looking this way,” Jimin says as they stand at the bar.

“A throne?” Taehyung scoffs and turns to look, seeing indeed that there’s a dude sat on a big throne, tall and black, way over the top. “Think he’s compensating for something?”

Jimin gives him a look.

“What?” Taehyung shrugs. “Who needs a throne that big? No, who needs a throne period?”

“Would you shut up? Probably means he’s powerful or something,” Jimin sighs, dreamy.

“Probably means he has a small dick,” Taehyung corrects.

“I think he wants us to go over,” Jimin whispers.

Taehyung looks again and sees Mr. Cocktail Sausage with two fingers lifted, waving them over. “Ew. I—”

But Jimin’s dragging him before he can finish. Taehyung notices then that there seems to be a /queue/ to His Royal Majesty.

As they bypass the queue, they get all sort of dirty looks. You’d think they were cutting in line for Space Mountain. There’s even henchmen guarding the guy on the throne, all stoic and eerily still.

“Wow. Didn’t know the Men in Black worked two jobs,” Taehyung mutters.

“Would you shut up,” Jimin hisses under his breath before they stop in front of the vampire. Jimin even bows his head. “Hello, sir.”

Taehyung throws Jimin a look. “You’ve gotta be kidding. Sir? Keep it in your pants,” he scoffs.

“Good evening,” the vampire greets. “Having fun?”

“Yes!” Jimin says.

“Not really,” Taehyung says at the same time.

Jimin jabs him roughly in the side.

“Oh?” The vampire leans forward, eyebrows arched. “That’s unfortunate. Why not?”

“Place kinda sucks. Excuse the pun.”

“Taehyung!?”

“Taehyung,” the vampire repeats slowly.

“Is there anything I can do to make your time here more... pleasurable?”

Taehyung cringes. “Ew. What was that?”

Vampy blinks. “What was what?”

“That line,” Taehyung says. “Was that supposed to work on me?”

“Seemed to work on your friend.”

Jimin giggles.

“Jesus, Jimin.”

“Care to sit?” Vampy asks.

“I’m good—“

“Sure!” Jimin quickly takes the smaller, clearly less significant seat beside the throne and all the people queued up behind them mutter their complaints.

“What’s up with the throne?” Taehyung has to ask.

Vampy smiles. “You like it?”

“Nope.”

Vampy loses his smile. “Why not.”

“I mean, it’s not even cool,” Taehyung shrugs, eyeing it. “It’s no Iron Throne.”

“Actually, I do believe it’s made of Iron and—”

“No, no,” Taehyung cuts in. “It’s not /the/ Iron Throne.”

Fangs glares. “Someone else has a throne?”

“Who? I demand to know.”

“Boy, that’s a hard question to answer,” Taehyung sighs. “Technically Bran Stark. Which I’ll never be happy about.“

“Bran Stark?” Vampy’s scowl deepens. “I don’t know of a Bran Stark.”

“I feel exactly the same way,” Taehyung agrees, shaking his head.

The vampire snaps his fingers and another one of them flits over at the speed of light. “Find out everything there is to know about Bran Stark and his... iron throne.”

“Yes, sir,” the other says.

Taehyung realises what’s happening, sees the misunderstanding.

He says nothing.

Luckily Jimin seems to infatued with—

“What’s your name?” Taehyung asks. “Is it something cool like Spike or Blade or...” he pulls a face, “Edward.”

“I am Jeon Jeongguk, Sheriff of Area 3, Third Ruler of Seoul.”

Taehyung stares. “Well, that’s a bit of a mouthful.”

“My liege is fine. Or my lord. Some even like to call me their king...” the vampire smiles to himself and crosses his legs, clearly pleased.

“Jeongguk’s fine,” Taehyung assures, watching his face drop again.

“C’mon, Jimin.”

“Your friend seems happy to stay,” Jeongguk says, turning his gaze on Jimin who starts giggling right away. “Won’t you stay too, Taehyung? At least for a drink.”

“Not a big drinker.”

“Ah, that’s too bad.” Jeongguk turns and looks at him again. “But I am.”

Suddenly two long fangs slide down into place over Jeongguk’s canines and he bares them at /Taehyung/.

People start to gasp and moan—what the fuck—behind him, calling Jeongguk and offering themselves.

And Taehyung...

“Boy, you better put those fucking things back right now.”

Jeongguk raises an intrigued eyebrow.

Taehyung sees Jimin subtly bare his throat from the corner of his eye. “Jimin, put your neck away, you slut, no one’s biting you.” His eyes go back to Jeongguk. “And you. Put those teeth before I rip them out and sell them on Etsy.”

Jeongguk’s eyes narrow but his teeth slowly retract, back to square and blunt.

Taehyung steps forward and grabs Jimin, hauling his ass up. “You should learn some manners,” he tells Jeongguk, dragging Jimin away and towards the exit. “And call Bran Stark!”

Jeongguk scowls.

“Want us to stop them, sir?” one of Jeongguk’s security ask.

“No, let them leave,” he says, able to hear Taehyung scolding his friend the whole way out. “But find out more about them.”

For the first time in a century, Jeongguk’s interest was piqued.

Two weeks later, Jimin’s letting himself into Taehyung’s house, waving something around.

“Look what I got!”

Taehyung’s too busy scrubbing vegetables. “What have you got.”

“An invitation!”

“To?”

“Club Sunlight!”

Taehyung pauses, looking back at Jimin. “The vamp bar?!”

“Yeah! This Friday.”

“Jimin, I told you you’re not going back there,” Taehyung tells him, dropping his carrots in the sink. He looks threatening with his yellow rubber gloves on.

Jimin just chuckles. “It says I can have a plus one,” he sing songs. “You gonna come with?”

“Like hell I am,” Taehyung scoffs. “Take a coffin as your plus one. Actually no, I’m sure they already have a supply of those.”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “C’mon, it’ll be fun. Plus I’ve heard sex with a vampire is otherworldly.”

“I’ll stick to Interview with the Vampire, thanks.”

“You’re coming,” Jimin says as Taehyung grabs his carrots to take them outside to dry in the sun, stomping away.

“Not a chance!”

Fuck.

He’s totally going, isn’t he.

Taehyung glares at the neon sign of the Sunlight bar as they head inside. He had no plans of coming back here.

It’s not that he has a problem with vampires because he doesn’t. But after last time something has felt /off/. Like someone’s been watching him. Maybe paranoid, but.

Their ID’s are checked at the door like last time, but this time the vamp at the door looks at something on his clipboard before he mutters quietly into his walkie-talkie.

“In you go,” he says, stepping aside.

Jimin thinks nothing of it.

Taehyung definitely takes notice.

The music is just as shit as last time, some Euro techno shit that shakes Taehyung’s ribs. The place is cold and frankly smells like his dentists office.

And he /hates/ the dentist.

“Think Jeongguk’s here?” Jimin asks.

“God, I hope not.”

Taehyung stretches to try and look to see and finds Fanger of course sat on his obnoxious throne, the guy at the door whispering in his ear.

Maybe he won’t notice them.

Just then Jeongguk’s eyes seem to flicker his way and Taehyung hunches over immediately.

Well shit.

“Hey, you,” Taehyung says to the first vampire he finds. “Feel like draining my ass dry? /Please?/”

The vampire blinks at him. “I. Really?”

A cold hand suddenly claps down on his shoulder before he answers and he looks to see the dude from the door

“You’ve been summoned.”

“Summoned,” Taehyung repeats. He scoffs. “This guy really is something.” He looks for Jimin and loses all humour when he can’t find him right away.

“Your friend is at the bar, don’t worry. He’s perfectly safe. However, you are not if you don’t come with me right now.”

He looks back at the vampire who’s teeth suddenly extend, growling quietly.

Taehyung slaps him right across the cheek, much to the vampires surprise. “Rude,” he says simply, disappointed and shows himself over to the back of the room, leaving the angered vampire behind.

Passing the long queue of people waiting to see Dracula, Taehyung stops in front of him. He gives a curtsy. “You summoned me, Your Royal Dickness?”

Jeongguk smiles and gestures to the stool beside him. “Sit,” he says. “Now.”

Taehyung eyes the chair briefly before he grabs it and drags it across the floor, letting it scrape loudly and slowly as he pulls it away from beside the throne to in front of it instead.

“Disrespecting Jeongguk like that...” someone mutters behind him and Taehyung smiles.

“I’m surprised to see you here tonight,” Jeongguk says as he watches Taehyung sit down.

“Is that so. I don’t think you’re surprised at all.”

“No?”

“I don’t take kindly to being treated like I’m stupid, so save it.” Taehyung’s eyes narrow. “Have you been following me?”

“Following you?” Jeongguk scoffs softly. “Why would I follow a human?”

Taehyung shrugs. “That’s what I wanna know. Maybe I hurt your feelings last time.”

“/My/ feelings?” Jeongguk smirks. “Sweetheart, I have no feelings.”

“Uh huh,” Taehyung nods, unconvinced.

“Only thing I feel...” Jeongguk’s fangs extend. “Is hunger.”

Taehyung sighs. “Now, now,” he starts, wagging a finger. “We talked about this. I told you I don’t take too kindly to you flashing your fangs at me.”

Jeongguk’s tongues over a sharp fang. “Most people enjoy them.”

“Enjoy your razor mouth? That’s a good band name,” he mutters quietly. “Called it.”

“Enjoy what they can /do/, Taehyung,” Jeongguk corrects, leaning closer. “Enjoy how they can make you feel.”

“I’m not into vore.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “It’s not vore.”

“It kinda is.”

“If done right,” Jeongguk says sharply. “It can give a human the most euphoric feeling. So I’ve been told.”

Taehyung leans in close too, not backing away. “Yeah, I know that line. ‘Wow, baby, you rocked my world, best I ever had.’ Something like that?”

Jeongguk scowls.

“You’re very, very annoying, you know that?” Jeongguk mutters low.

Taehyung just grins. Of course he knows.

“It’s not wise to annoy a vampire.”

“You don’t scare me,” Taehyung points out, firm.

“No?” Jeongguk bares his teeth a little more. “Then you’re very stupid.”

Slap.

There’s gasps and suddenly two vampires are on Taehyung, yanking him out of his chair and holding his arms back.

“What are your orders, sir?” one growls out.

Jeongguk tongues his cheek as he stares at Taehyung, lifting a hand. “Let him go.”

“But, sir—“

“That’s an order.”

Taehyung’s promptly released with some sharp glares from vampires and humans alike.

Jeongguk stares at him.

Taehyung stares back.

“Let me feed on you.”

“Pass.”

Jeongguk frowns. “Why.”

“Do you ever hear the word no?”

“No.”

“Just say it, I bet.”

“Do you know how many people would kill for me to feed on them?” Jeongguk demands.

“Oh, brother.” Taehyung rolls his eyes and turns away. “Good luck with that, Sabertooth.”

Jeongguk’s suddenly in front of him, blocking his path and people start to freak out.

Up close, Taehyung can privately admit that Jeongguk is quite attractive. He’s tall and handsome and he idly wonders what he looked like when he was human.

“Why are you difficult?”

“Because I don’t know about you, but I was raised a gentleman,” Taehyung says. “Manners matter.”

Taehyung gives him a once over before his eyes land back on those fangs. “And you have none. So I have no time for you. So kindly get the fuck out of my way.”

Jeongguk heaves a slow, angry breath, guards closing in around them, waiting on an order to probably tear Taehyung up.

Jeongguk eventually slowly steps to the side but not away, keeping his chest pressed up against Taehyung’s arm. “I’ll be seeing you, /Taehyung/.

“Yeah, bet you will, stalker,” Taehyung dismisses, heading for Jimin’s who’s been watching not too far away, just like everyone else.

From that moment on, Taehyung starts to receive deliveries. Baskets of pomegranates, grapefruits, packages of walnuts, fresh ginger and expensive dark chocolate. It confuses the fuck out of him at first until one day he gets a whole box full of vitamin b12’s.

That fucker.

“I don’t get it,” Jimin says, happily sat at Taehyung’s kitchen table, eating away at a bar of chocolate.

“It’s all stuff to help with blood circulation,” Taehyung grits out as he angrily makes jam.

But now the mashed raspberries are starting to look more and more like blood.

“So you think it’s from Lord Jeongguk?”

“Dear god, don’t call him that,” Taehyung huffs. “Of course it’s from him! Unless I’ve got Chris Traeger as my secret admirer.”

Jimin croons. “I think it’s sweet.”

Taehyung blinks over at him. “You’re a sick bitch, Jimin.”

“I know.”

“You have to admit, though. He is hot,” Jimin says, licking the bowl clean of leftover raspberry preserves.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m just saying! He’s hot and powerful.”

Taehyung tuts. “And he’s arrogant and rude and a /brat./”

Jimin rolls his eyes.

“Your standards are too high, Tae. Looking for that sweet gentleman type who’ll kiss your cheek and buy you flowers.” Jimin gags.

“And what’s wrong with that!”

“Just so... old fashioned.”

“Sorry that I like my men human. Guess I’m not down with the kids.”

Taehyung has no time for vampires, no sir. He has a farm to run and he’s not about to let some rude ass leach distract him.

But alas.

It’s close to eleven when there’s a knock at the door. Taehyung peaks out of the window of his bedroom and—

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Marching down the stairs in his pajamas, Taehyung pulls open the front door to see a very pleased looking vampire on his porch.

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk greets.

“What are you doing here.”

“Standing on your porch, apparently. Thought you were all about manners.”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow.

“It’s not polite to leave your guests standing out in the cold.”

“It’s also not polite to come around uninvited,” Taehyung shoots back. “Why are you here?”

Jeongguk stands perfectly still. “Wanted to see if you were enjoying my thoughtful gifts.”

“What gifts?” Taehyung says blankly.

Jeongguk frowns. “The ones I’ve been sending you?”

“Haven’t gotten any gifts. Got a ton of crap, though. Don’t know if that was you.”

“Now that’s not very nice,” Jeongguk tuts, stepping closer. “They were very thoughtful.”

“For you.”

"How could they be thoughtful for me?" Jeongguk asks, batting his eyes and Taehyung pulls a face.

"Don't try it, dead boy. You're not cute."

Jeongguk blinks slowly, licks his lips and does this /thing/ with his face. "What am I then?"

"Pretty."

"Aw. Well, I—"

"Pretty dumb."

Jeongguk loses his cockiness as quickly as it came. "Invite me in."

Taehyung sighs and stands to the side, holding the door open.

Jeongguk doesn't move.

"What?"

"You. Have to actually invite me in. Verbally. Or I can't enter."

Taehyung's eyebrows raise. "Oh?" he grins.

Jeongguk exhales sharply.

"You can't come in no matter what?"

"Not without an invitation, no."

Taehyung cackles. "Big bad vampire is forced to have some manners and has to wait for my permission. Isn't that funny!"

Jeongguk glares at him as he continues to laugh his ass off.

"Taehyung," he growls and that snaps Taehyung out of it.

"Hell no, you're not about to get mad at me for not letting you into my house. I'm the one that gets to be mad. I never gave you my address in the first place."

Jeongguk clenches his jaw, hands braced against the doorway.

"I... wanted to see you," Jeongguk grits out like it's painful.

Taehyung folds his arms. "I didn't want to see you?"

Jeongguk huffs. "Exactly! So I had to force you to see me."

They both stare at each other.

"Do you not hear how creepy that sounded," Taehyung mutters.

"What else was I supposed to do?" Jeongguk demands.

"Be normal and let it go! Not a fucking psychopath."

"Listen. I don't particularly like you either," Jeongguk snaps, fangs extending. "But I can't stop thinking about you. So just let me feed on you so this can be done."

Taehyung slams the door in his face and turns and heads back upstairs.

"Taehyung! Come back here now."

Taehyung turns the lights off on the way.

Taehyung isn't stupid enough to believe he's seen the last of Jeongguk. But he is stupid enough to fall for an obvious setup.

It's late at night when he hears some commotion in the barn. So armed with his uncle's old shotgun, he heads outside, his pigs squealing loudly.

Hurrying into the barn, Taehyung stops dead at the sight of Jeongguk standing there...

...holding one of the crying piglets.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Taehyung demands.

"Saying hello to your animals. It was necessary."

"Why."

"To get you out of the house."

Taehyung points the shotgun at Jeongguk. "Put my pig down now."

Jeongguk smiles lazily but obeys, setting the piglet down, who runs right back to its momma. Jeongguk starts to walk forward.

"Keep your distance, dude," Taehyung warns.

Jeongguk keep walking closer.

Taehyung cocks the gun.

Jeongguk cocks an eyebrow before reaching out and wrapping a hand around the barrels. He crushes the metal easily between his fingers and bends it back like it were clay. He yanks it from his hand and throws it to the side with a smirk.

"What the fuck," Taehyung breathes, eyes wide. "You could have just taken it! Didn't have to break the thing, fucker."

Jeongguk shoves him back against the closest wall and Taehyung's winded.

"Do you ever shut up?" Jeongguk whispers, nose skimming Taehyung's neck.

Taehyung swallows, eyes squeezing shut and Jeongguk /smells/ him, taking a long, deep breath. "Ew."

"Your heart's pounding."

"Yeah, cause I'm pissed off."

Jeongguk chuckles. "Sure you're not scared?"

"Of you?" Taehyung scoffs, hand curling into fists. "Please. You wish."

Jeongguk's hand slides around Taehyung's waist, touching the bare skin of where his shirt has rucked up from sleep and his cold fingers make him shudder.

"You like that, baby?" Jeongguk croons lowly.

Taehyung's body tingles but he refuses to acknowledge it. "Drop dead. Again."

"It's okay to want it," Jeongguk whispers, tongue pressing against a vein in Taehyung's neck.

"I don't. And if you bite me, I will stake you and piss in your ashes."

Jeongguk chuckles, pinning his body against Taehyung's completely. "That you talking dirty to me?"

"I can get a lot dirtier than that, promise," Taehyung threatens.

"I bet." Jeongguk sighs, nuzzling at Taehyung's throat with an eager keen. "You smell so good..."

Taehyung's jaw flexes. "It's Old Spice. I'll buy you some to help cover up the smell of death."

Jeongguk licks a fat stripe from throat to ear and Taehyung gruffs, going tense. "Yummy," he sighs, nosing at Taehyung's cheek. He pulls back and smiles. "I won't bite you until you ask. And trust me, you will ask."

Taehyung scoffs quietly. "Don't hold your breath."

Finally Jeongguk steps back. "See you later, farm boy."

Taehyung's eyes narrow. "You owe me a gun."

In a flash, Jeongguk is gone, laughter tinkling after him. Taehyung scowls, picking up his broken gun.

"Stupid vampire."

He ignores his erection and has a cold fucking shower.

Taehyung doesn't cower away. He's not about to be forced to stay in his house once the sun goes out. Plus, he doesn't think Jeongguk actually would do anything to him.

"Not until I ask," he mutters under his breath as he mucks out the horses. "Have more chance of eating shit."

"What a fucking creep." Taehyung's too busy ranting to himself that he doesn't hear the approaching footsteps. "I'll stake him and feed him to the pigs."

"Uh. Hello?"

Taehyung startles, head whipping around towards the voice. "Jesus, what the—"

The guy panics. "I'm sorry!"

"I'm here to pick up the stuff for the market?" the guy says and Taehyung frowns.

"Where's Dohun?"

"He's hurt his back, so he asked me to pick up his orders today. I'm his nephew, Seojoon."

Taehyung nods slowly, eyes shifting down the driveway and indeed sees Dohun's familiar truck. He relaxes. "Tell him to be careful," he says as he sets the pitchfork down. "He's not getting any younger."

Seojoon chuckles, a deep throaty sound. "Try telling him that."

Taehyung gives his full attention to Seojoon, looking him over. He's tall, tanned and... pretty handsome, actually. He's got a big smile on and Taehyung can see under the flannel he's wearing that he's in good shape. Broad.

He clears his throat and heads for the kitchen.

Seojoon follows him inside and Taehyung gestures to where he had everything ready for Dohun. Jams, bottled milk, cartons of eggs and buckets of fruit.

"Usually it takes a couple trips to get everything in the truck," Taehyung explains, but Seojoon shakes his head.

"I got it."

Taehyung watches in amazement as Seojoon stacks up all the crates and seemingly effortlessly lifts them all, not straining as he carries them out of the kitchen. "Is this all?"

"I..." Taehyung blinks. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's everything." He follows Seojoon out, still cautious.

He expects Seojoon to struggle, because the shit is /heavy/, but he loads it all onto the back of his truck with ease.

"I hate to be a burden, but do you think I could trouble you for a drink?" Seojoon asks, fanning his shirt and when he grins, Taehyung's heart goes 'oh fuck'.

Taehyung finds himself swooning a little, the sweet manners making him giddy. "Yeah. Yeah, of course," he agrees, smiling himself. "Do you want some lemonade?"

Seojoon grins, sun beating down on his skin, making him sweat a little. He wipes his forehead. "I'd love some."

Taehyung heads back to the kitchen, not expecting Seojoon to follow, but he does. He pours him a glass with fresh ice and hands it over.

"Thank you kindly," Seojoon says with a wink and Taehyung's thighs squeeze together, watching him drink and Seojoon watches him back.

Seojoon hands him the glass back once it's drained, chewing on a piece of ice. It shouldn't look hot, but it does. "You run this farm by yourself?"

Taehyung nods, setting the glass in the sink and misses the way Seojoon sniffs at the air, pulling a face. "Yep, just me."

Taehyung faces Seojoon, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Are you hungry? Can I fix you a snack?"

Seojoon chuckles softly. "That's very kind, but I should get going. Don't want everything to get warm in the truck."

"Okay. Tell your uncle I hope he feels better."

"I will. But maybe not too soon..." Seojoon says, smile soft and Taehyung laughs under his breath, flattered.

Seojoon heads on out and Taehyung watches him safely from the nets in his kitchen window. When he's gone, he fans himself, giggling.

"What a man."

Taehyung's a little embarrassed to admit he's still thinking about Seojoon that night as he makes a banana cream pie for Dohun, his favourite.

"What's got you smiling?" a voice comes from the open back door and Taehyung startles yet again.

"For fuck sake!"

Jeongguk raises his eyebrows, leaning against the doorway. "Someone's jumpy."

"Don't sneak up like that!" Taehyung snaps. "Or my heart is gonna give out."

"Join the club," Jeongguk scoffs. "What you doing?"

"I'm making a pie."

"Looks disgusting."

Taehyung shoots him a look.

Jeongguk frowns. "And it stinks, too."

"You don't like the smell of bananas?"

"That doesn't smell like bananas, Taehyung. Smells like..."

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. "Like?"

"Like roadkill and... wet dog."

Taehyung lifts the pie up to his nose, giving a hard sniff. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Jeongguk's nostrils flare and his eyes narrow, snapping to Taehyung. "Someone been here?"

"Why's that any of your business?"

"Because you're my business. Invite me in."

"Never."

Jeongguk growls. "You let other people in but not me?"

Taehyung gives Jeongguk a disapproving look as he works on whipping the cream. "Was there something you wanted?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Do you have nothing better to do?"

"Are you gonna keep answering my questions with another question?"

"Are you?"

Jeongguk's jaw twinges. "I dislike you."

"Feeling's mutual, worm food."

"Then, again. Just let me feed on you and I'll be on my way."

Taehyung scoffs. "Gee, you make it sound so tempting."

"Who was in the house?"

Taehyung sighs sharply. "A guy came to pick up some produce for the market."

Jeongguk doesn't say anything for a moment. "That's all?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is that all he did?"

Taehyung frowns. "No, he took a shit on the rug. /Yes/, Jeongguk."

"That's more likely than you think," Jeongguk mutters quietly.

"What?"

"Nothing. Don't let random people into your house."

Taehyung looks at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung.

"Aside from me," Jeongguk corrects obviously and Taehyung nods, sarcastic.

"Do you like me? Is that what this is"

Taehyung almost gets whiplash from how quickly he looks up. "What."

"Is that why you won't let me feed on you? Cause I'll leave when it's done?"

Taehyung stares in utter shock over the sheer idiocy. "Yes, Jeongguk. You've figured it out."

Jeongguk sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Listen, baby."

"—don't call me that—"

"I don't get into things with... your kind."

"My kind— human?"

"You're just..." Jeongguk shrugs. "Not my type. Only type you are to me is a blood type."

"...I actually fucking hate you."

"Oh my god," Taehyung laughs, almost hysterical as he rubs his face. "You're a vampire fuck boy. A literal immortal fuck boy."

Jeongguk frowns. "What's that?"

Taehyung shakes his head, hands dragging down his cheeks. "Did they all originate from you? Are you their leader?"

Jeongguk's mouth opens and closes. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about half the time! Leader of what?"

"King Fuck. That's what they call you, I bet."

Jeongguk's face relaxes and Taehyung realises how that sounds when he starts looking cocky. "Hah. Well..."

"Ew."

"So what you're saying is that you want to feed on me and then have nothing to do with me ever again," Taehyung reiterates as he scoops the cream onto the pie.

Jeongguk grins. "Exactly! You get it."

"Yeah, I get it," Taehyung nods, licking cream off his finger. "I suuuure do."

Taehyung sets the used bowl in the sink. "But you also wanna fuck while you feed, right?"

Jeongguk nods. "That's how these things usually go."

"Because I'll be desperate for it."

"That's correct."

Taehyung hums, still sucking on his finger as he approaches Jeongguk slowly.

"Is it normal for me to... no, never mind," Taehyung sighs.

"What? What is it? Tell me."

Taehyung leans back against the counter in front of the door. "Just... wondering if it's normal to feel so... turned on," he whispers, "just being around you."

Jeongguk smirks.

"That's completely normal," Jeongguk says. "You humans can't help yourselves. It's okay, it's natural."

Taehyung bites his tongue and reaches up to start undoing his shirt. "And you'd help me?"

Jeongguk nods, eyes looking brighter. "Yes. Invite me in and I can look after you."

"You can?" Taehyung pouts, undoing another button, watching Jeongguk's eyes follow his fingers. "God, I feel like I'm..."

Jeongguk licks his lips. "Like you're what, baby?"

"Like I'm /aching/," Taehyung sighs, head dropping back to expose his throat and Jeongguk groans.

Taehyung pushes himself forward towards Jeongguk. "It's like a fire's inside me," he whispers, taking little steps.

Jeongguk nods, throat bobbing. "A fire?"

"Yeah. I'm all warm." Taehyung reaches out and presses a hand against Jeongguk's chest, bodies getting closer. "Tingly."

Jeongguk's eyes go to Taehyung's lips as he sidles up close enough for their chests to touch. "Tingly," he repeats, voice quiet.

"Feels so good," Taehyung sighs, tilting his head and letting his eyes close. When he opens them again, Jeongguk looks a little lost for words.

Taehyung tuts softly, pouting and Jeongguk blinks at him with hazy eyes. "Think it's acid reflux." He steps back and kicks the door shut behind him.

"Wah— Taehyung."

Taehyung puts the pie in the fridge and grabs himself an anti-acid, shaking the pack at Jeongguk. "Goodnight!"

"This isn't funny," Jeongguk growls after him as he turns all the lights off and heads upstairs. "You invite me in right now!"

Silence.

Jeongguk exhales sharply, turning and storming away.

And this time, it's him the one with the tight pants.

"Fucking humans."

The next day, Taehyung takes his perfectly good-smelling pie—thank you, bloodsucker—to Dohun's place. Parking his truck, he heads around back and slows at the sight of Seojoon up on the roof, shirt off and sweating.

Lord have mercy.

"Hey," Seojoon calls down when he spots him.

"Hi," Taehyung returns, can't help but grin. Wow. "Where's your uncle?"

"He's at the doctor's," Seojoon says, climbing down the roof, giving Taehyung a nice view of his ass in those jeans, damn. He grins as he faces Taehyung, wiping his hands on a rag. "What you got there?"

"Oh, uh. A pie. It's his favourite. Thought it make him feel better."

"That's really nice of you, Taehyung, thank you." Seojoon carefully takes the pie. "Do you wanna come inside?"

'Do /you/ wanna come inside?' Taehyung wants to ask.

Fuck, he needs to get laid.

"Can't."

"Errands to run," Taehyung regretfully declines.

"That's too bad," Seojoon says and gives Taehyung a look like his offer wasn't entirely innocent. "Maybe another time."

"Yes." Taehyung nods, maybe too frantic. "I would like that, yes."

Taking another moment to just stare at Seojoon' bare chest, he says a goodbye before he leaves quickly, not needing the temptation.

He thinks about Seojoon for the whole day. About his big arms, how his pecs were sculpted beautifully, how his thighs looked in his tight jeans...

As soon as Taehyung gets back home after a long day, he takes off his pants and lays down on his bed. Getting a hand around himself, he lets all the thoughts of Seojoon return to him.

Big hands.

Sweaty skin.

Friendly smile.

Sharp fangs.

...wait.

Taehyung's eyes snap open.

No. A slip. Definitely a slip.

Taking a deep breath, Taehyung's imagination gravitates back to sun-kissed skin and a charming personality.

He lets his eyes drift closed again and works his hand back around his dick, letting his imagination run wild with thoughts of Seojoon.

Taehyung pictures Seojoon laying on top of him, how he'd feel pressed against him, how his lips would feel against his own.

He can see it so clearly, imagines Seojook kissing down his chest, down his belly, past his hip and over his thigh.

He'd slide his fingers in his hair...

Maybe he'd suck bruises into Taehyung's thighs, bite marks into them. He pictures looking down at that pretty face and meets big, round eyes and long dark hair.

"It's okay to want it, Taehyung..." and then he'd sink his fangs in and...

Taehyung sits up abruptly, hand stopping.

What the fuck is wrong with him.

He is /not/ interested in Jeongguk. Absolutely not.

No, no, no. No chance.

He's rude and entitled and probably a psychopath.

Taehyung does not want to have sex with Jeongguk.

And that's what he keeps telling himself for the rest of the week.

But every single time he tries to get off. Pop. There he is, just living it up in Taehyung's imagination.

And each and every time, Taehyung will blue ball himself out of pure spite for imaginary Jeongguk.

That's really telling him.

Taehyung not jerking off to someone who doesn't even know it...

Logic.

Maybe it's the summer heat. Maybe it's going to his head and he's losing it.

It's been a while since he's last had sex, that's definitely a reason too. Jeongguk's not special.

All he needs is to get some ass.

Pure and simple. Just needs to get laid and he'll feel better.

So Taehyung looks through his phone, hits up a guy he's hooked up with in the past, and in the matter of a few minutes, it's set up.

Taehyung has a dick appointment.

It gives him the chance to freshen up, put on some nice clothes, put effort in. He feels good, feels sexy.

It's not long until he has to leave when there's a knock at the door, and he stops as he rounds the corner when he sees the familiar face staring at him through the glass.

Taehyung sighs in immediate frustration. "Why."

"Because I felt like it," comes Jeongguk's voice. "Now open up."

He debates it. He really does. But he knows Jeongguk won't leave him alone until he entertains him for a minute. Opening the door, he scowls. "What now."

Jeongguk looks him over, eyes slowly lingering from top to bottom and Taehyung grits his teeth tight. "You look tasty. Coming to the club?"

Taehyung scoffs. "No chance. I'm meeting someone."

"Oh?" Jeongguk purses his lips. "To have sex?"

"That's the plan, yeah."

"I see."

They stare at each other in silence.

"Can I come?" Jeongguk asks.

"No? Of course you can't."

"Why? I'm curious." Jeongguk leans back from the doorway, slowly pacing.

"About?"

"To see how bad your taste is, obviously. Must be terrible to pass up on me."

Taehyung reaches up to rub his forehead, can feel a headache forming. "How is it possible to despise someone so much so quickly?"

"Who's this person you're meeting?"

"Just some guy."

"Is it a date?"

"No," Taehyung sighs. "It's a booty call."

Jeongguk blinks. "A what?"

"That's what it's called, you old fuck. Now move," Taehyung mutters, grabbing his keys off the side of the table and shoving his shoes on before he leaves. "I'm gonna be late."

He locks the door while Jeongguk keeps leering at him.

"What."

"I didn't expect you to come out."

"Was I not meant to?" Taehyung mutters, stepping around Jeongguk to head for his truck.

"You're bitchier than usual today," Jeongguk comments from in front of him, already standing beside his truck. "Got a killer scarecrow terrorizing your farm or something?"

Annoyingly, Taehyung knows he's right. He's frustrated a lot lately and seeing Jeongguk looking so— like Jeongguk.

It's making it worse.

He climbs into the truck and once again, Jeongguk's already there, sitting in the passenger's seat.

It has goosebumps rising on his arms.

“Get out, Jeongguk,” Taehyung tells him, starting the engine.

“You’re gonna cave soon. I can smell it on you.”

Taehyung’s head snaps to Jeongguk. “What?”

“You want me,” Jeongguk says. “And you hate it.”

Taehyung scoffs, paranoid. Can vampires read thoughts? “Not true.”

Jeongguk slides across the bench seat to sit closer to Taehyung, arm behind his back. “Bet you think about me all the time, don’t you?”

“No,” Taehyung lies without missing a beat. “I only remember you when you come bother me.”

Jeongguk hums low and Taehyung’s heart jumps.