my tune may change if things escalate but aside from the human suffering part of me doesnt want to return to normalcy. in normal life i have to worry about mundane health problems and random nonsense but now i just have to not catch the meme disease. atavistic sense of adventure
my friends mom probably has it so, im not being flippant but i have to be honest with myself and admit that i enjoy the fact that everything more than ten feet from my house now has a sense of danger, counting how many pounds of oatmeal i have, in a way it feels really good
mentioned this in a reply to another post but theres an artist named giacometti who got hit by a car once, and when telling the story he says when the car hopped the curb headed towards him he was overcome with elation at the feeling that "something was finally happening" to him
he never stopped talking about this incident for the rest of his life. in a way i relate to this. im like, fuck my doctors appointments, fuck monitoring my health, do i have the plague. no. alright then im gonna stay winning, back into battle, counting my bags of rice hell yeah
well known psychological phenomenon that in times of crisis ur timeframe is shortened. people stop thinking about x years ahead or a year ahead or even a month ahead. something about that rules. what am i doing in september. i have no idea. no conception of it exists virtually.
a complex form of succor is provided by the chaos and general upheval. am i actually going back to the doctors (at a hospital) in a month. no idea. is my dad going back to work. when. no idea. nothing exists beyond next week. total liberation from temporal constructs obtained.
i just head to the studio. drink coffee. work for 11 or 12 hours. post online. check in with normal people i know. get updates from the state via radio. my wife + i both have health problems. sense of danger. its extremely aesthetic. could easily do this for months. maybe i will
