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We regret to inform you that @Cosmopolitan is promoting choking/strangulation ('breath play') as a great newbie way to spice up your love life, again.

(They link to a piece that says it can can cause stroke, brain damage, serious damage to neck, spine.)

cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/re…
Why are we pushing back when 'choking' of women is normalised? (And it is choking of women, by men, we're almost always talking about)

Here's a great, lockdown listen with @Lalalaletmeexp2

open.spotify.com/episode/08g8ex…
We hear from young women who learn as teens that being choked - viewed in Domestic Violence policing as being the no 1 risk factor for future homicide by a partner - is something they should expect as an expression of passion

And it's not just Cosmo
thetimes.co.uk/article/social…
...a number of other women's mags promote being choked by a sexual partner - one notoriously calling it a 'beginner's kink' and another comparing it to ravishment (that's the old for for rape, FYI)

And this is what the reality of sex and relationships is like for many of the young women who might read Cosmo - genuine Content Warning on this.

"I realise I am lucky to not have been brain damaged or worse"

wecantconsenttothis.uk/our-stories
The original piece has now been edited - thanks @CosmopolitanUK

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More from @Wecantconsentto see all

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We Can't Consent To This
@Wecantconsentto
Hello to new followers. We Can't Consent To This was a response to the short sentence of 3years 8 months given in Dec 2018 to the man who killed Natalie Connolly. He claimed that many of her injuries were due to consensual rough sex.

wecantconsenttothis.uk
Natalie is not alone. We've searched every news and legal archive we can to find there are 59 UK women and girls killed by men who claim that they consented to the violence. And many more injured in non-fatal assaults.

#WeCantConsentToThis
And here is what we found: In UK cases, everyone who uses this defence is male. Many have extremely serious previous convictions for violence. Those in relationships were often abusive and the women often leaving the relationship
Read 11 tweets
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We Can't Consent To This
@Wecantconsentto
Last month the Guardian covered the normalisation of choking of women in sex: women report you'll be called vanilla if you don't want it, and women are being choked - sometimes into unconsciousness - on dates without prior discussion.
theguardian.com/society/2019/j…

1/4
How did this become the norm? Women's magazines promote choking as a beginner's kink, tumblr's famed for being full of cutesy choking images and it's standard for women to be choked in porn. But we wanted to look at instagram

2/4
3/4 @instagram has a billion users and has acted to remove explicit content - self harm, sex and even nipple pics - previously. Here's what you can see under tags #chokeme #chokemedaddy and #suffocate. Strangulation of women shown as bold, mainstream, loving, funny, sexy.
Read 9 tweets
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We Can't Consent To This
@Wecantconsentto
Who claims "sex games gone wrong"?

A few people have asked this, so we made this infographic:
There are 50 UK women and 5 UK men who've died in what the men suspected claim is "sex games gone wrong", or "rough sex" or BDSM.

We cover these cases in detail on wecantconsenttothis.uk
There may be more we have not yet found. There are many more cases of women injured...
by men who claim in court the women consented to the violence as part of sex.

We have found a small number of cases of women who are thought to have killed themselves in a "sex game". BUT in 2 of those a man was later convicted of murder, in 1 further the police failed to
Read 8 tweets

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