1) This will be the current shitfuck panic fest the Dems try to beat us over the head with as they quietly retreat from Kung Flu fearmongering.
What the Dems will fail to mention is that this isn't the first time this happened.
What the Dems will fail to mention is that this isn't the first time this happened.
2) In 1988, the Iranians were working to try to expand their territorial influence at sea in 2 ways. First, they were deploying mines at sea, 1 of which damaged and nearly sank a US Navy vessel. Secondly, they were using oil rigs at sea as forward operating bases for patrol boats
3) The US launched Operation Praying Mantis, to get these dumbfucks to stop.
We sunk half of their operational fleet.
0 casualties.
We sunk half of their operational fleet.
0 casualties.
4) We're about to do the same thing again.
"BUT ZOMG THEY HAVE TEH SUPR STELTH SUBMACHINERINES!" will be shouted from the rooftops.
No.
No they do not.
"BUT ZOMG THEY HAVE TEH SUPR STELTH SUBMACHINERINES!" will be shouted from the rooftops.
No.
No they do not.
5) Let's start of with the Iranian naval composition, shall we?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_c…
Kilo-class submarines! Those sound scary!
Oh wait. They were cold war era Russian shit that went out of production 30 years ago. Whoops.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_c…
Kilo-class submarines! Those sound scary!
Oh wait. They were cold war era Russian shit that went out of production 30 years ago. Whoops.
6) THE BESAT CLASS SUBMARINE! Oh which there is.... 1. Because its a prototype. And Iranian made.
My brohemian rhapsody @HeshmatAlavi tells us all about the effort the Mullahs put into their original 'Iranian pride' designs.
My brohemian rhapsody @HeshmatAlavi tells us all about the effort the Mullahs put into their original 'Iranian pride' designs.
6) Oh, another Iranian made submarine, the Fateh, of which there are... 2 of them. Here's 1 pictured.
They paint the top green because they think it'll be harder for us to see them underwater.
I shit you not.
They paint the top green because they think it'll be harder for us to see them underwater.
I shit you not.
7) Iranian submarine doctrine is laying mines, and firing torpedos, and making people scared enough to think either will have an effect.
For example, much hullabaloo was made about the 'Hoot' super-torpedo the Mullahs waved around like it was a proxy for their dicks.
For example, much hullabaloo was made about the 'Hoot' super-torpedo the Mullahs waved around like it was a proxy for their dicks.
8) However, the 'Hoot' super-torpedo? Its just a Iranian-made copy of a late cold war Russian torpedo design, the Shkval, and NONE OF IRAN'S SUBMARINES ARE DESIGNED TO USE IT.
Most of Iran's submarines are 'Ghadir' class submarines, dinky 2 man subs they copied from North Korea.
Most of Iran's submarines are 'Ghadir' class submarines, dinky 2 man subs they copied from North Korea.
9) "The IRCG operates much smaller midget submarines, and that is a problem. Like most missiles Hoot is much heavier than a regular torpedo... This means that Iran’s sizable fleet of midget submarines would not be able to carry it"
forbes.com/sites/hisutton…
forbes.com/sites/hisutton…
10) Here's the other problem about the Iranian submarines: THEY'RE ALL DIESEL POWERED.
Diesel-electric submarines are LOUD in the realm of naval warfare, especially nowadays, and especially diesel-electric submarines from the cold war or straight copied off cold war designs.
Diesel-electric submarines are LOUD in the realm of naval warfare, especially nowadays, and especially diesel-electric submarines from the cold war or straight copied off cold war designs.
11) And this is where the most brilliant bit of military mind-fuckery EVER has occurred.
The AIP system for diesel submarines, 'air injection propulsion'.
Basically, its a stealth system that allegedly cancels out the noise of diesel engines on submarines.
The AIP system for diesel submarines, 'air injection propulsion'.
Basically, its a stealth system that allegedly cancels out the noise of diesel engines on submarines.
12) 'Experts' rave about the AIP systems, about how they can enable submarines to sink carriers, etc
Also, correction, its 'Air Independent Propulsion', my bad. nationalinterest.org/blog/buzz/1-st…
Also, correction, its 'Air Independent Propulsion', my bad. nationalinterest.org/blog/buzz/1-st…
14) 'Look, this Swedish sub using the AIP has defeated the mighty US navy in wargames!' They cry out.
maritimeherald.com/2018/a-small-s…
So of course, Iran HAD to get all their submarines equipped with them.
maritimeherald.com/2018/a-small-s…
So of course, Iran HAD to get all their submarines equipped with them.
15) Except its bullshit.
The US Navy has had the AIP system beat for well over a decade now.
We have satellites that can spot a fly on the ass of a pig.
Do people honestly think we don't have naval detection capabilities?
That the US Navy would ADVERTISE its achilles heel?
The US Navy has had the AIP system beat for well over a decade now.
We have satellites that can spot a fly on the ass of a pig.
Do people honestly think we don't have naval detection capabilities?
That the US Navy would ADVERTISE its achilles heel?
16) So, their submarine fleet, irrelevant.
What about the rest of the Iranian fleet?
Alvand-class frigates: They have 3. They're the three that survived Operation Praying Mantis in 1988.
NEXT.
What about the rest of the Iranian fleet?
Alvand-class frigates: They have 3. They're the three that survived Operation Praying Mantis in 1988.
NEXT.
17) The Moudge-class frigates. They have 2. One of which their incompetent ass sailors literally ran around by slamming it into the concrete piers, which crumpled the hull like an American Cadillac rear ending a dinky ass Iranian wannabe Pinto.
NEXT.
NEXT.
18) The Sina-class frigate. They have one, named the Sahand, which has never seen combat, and is named after one of the bigger vessels the US Navy sunk in 1988.
Good omens there. Just fantastic omens. I wish them the best of luck, oh flies heading straight to a bug zapper.
Good omens there. Just fantastic omens. I wish them the best of luck, oh flies heading straight to a bug zapper.
19) The Bayandor-class Corvette. The Iranians have 2. Both of which they got in the 60's. They actually got 4, but Iraq sunk two of them during the Iran-Iraq war. LOL.
NEXT.
NEXT.
20) The HAMZEH-class Corvette. That sounds like a good, powerful name. For a ship Iran got in '65.
That was made by the Dutch in 1936.
NEXT.
That was made by the Dutch in 1936.
NEXT.
21) The rest of their ships are literally tiny ass patrol boats, of which they have approximately 32. Half of those are what's leftover from 1988, the rest were almost all built in the 90's, or are refitted civilian hulls they stuck some missiles on.
22) TL;DR:
This is the second biggest 'fuck around and find out' statement that the US has ever issued Iran.
The biggest was when we sunk their navy the first time in 1988. This is just finishing the job Reagan started.
/end
This is the second biggest 'fuck around and find out' statement that the US has ever issued Iran.
The biggest was when we sunk their navy the first time in 1988. This is just finishing the job Reagan started.
/end
