Comrade Fudge Profile picture
I am Bourbon Anon #banon #followthevomittrail World's only 1932 Emu War expert Founder of the Bourbon Lantern Corps https://t.co/mcOzfBeQbI #LegionofBlumpf Neofudgative
JayDub Profile picture Deplorable Skymom Profile picture EricStoner Profile picture Twitter author Profile picture Susan Gates Profile picture 288 added to My Authors
Feb 27, 2021 6 tweets 2 min read
Basically, the entire Khashoggi story was hyped up by Turkey claiming that a recording of Khashoggi's murder in the embassy was caught on his apple watch and transmitted to his iphone that his girlfriend waiting outside had. This was accentuated by the MSM hyping up his watch. Then, of course, I and several other people pointed out that Turkey's networks weren't compatible with the model of apple watch. Literally, it couldn't connect to Turkish cell networks. Suddenly, it became, "Oh, experts are skeptical, but we still totally know the Saudis did it."
Jan 13, 2021 27 tweets 5 min read
Most of what I write isn't understood by most of the people who read it.

That's fine. I don't actually like most of the people who read my stuff. They're reactionary in the most reflexive and knee jerk sense, they're stubborn in ignorance, and they're far too trusting. This isn't for them.
Jan 12, 2021 5 tweets 2 min read
I despise you. I cant fucking stand you. You are the reason the McRib is never a permanent part of the McDonalds menu. You are the reason Sechuan sauce has never been brought back. You are appendix cancer. You are HIV personified.

What in the unholy fuck made you this stupid. “Here’s a troubling trend about how millennials started killing themselves.”

“LEL I BET IT WAS EMO MUSIC!”

Yes, clearly, there is NO COVARIANCE BETWEEN A GENERATION PRONE TO SUICIDE AND A SUBCULTURE UNIQUE TO THAT GENERATION THAT EPITOMIZED NIHILISM. NO COVARIANCE AT ALL. MHMM.
Jan 7, 2021 38 tweets 6 min read
On Being an American, by HL Mencken (1922)

The references updated to modern terms by Comrade Fudge (2021, close to a full century later)

Yes, this shit is still relevant.

monadnock.net/mencken/americ… All the while I have been forgetting the third of my reasons for remaining so faithful a citizen of the Federation, despite all the lascivious inducements from expatriates to follow them beyond the seas, and all the surly suggestions from patriots that I succumb.
Dec 24, 2020 6 tweets 2 min read
There’s no grievances to air.

To air a grievance implies it hasn’t already been made known.

The complaints have been spoken, repeatedly. The problem isn’t that they aren’t being spoken. It’s that they aren’t being listened to. This is not an age of heroes.

This is not an age of legends.

There does not exist a desire to engage in acts of valor and endurance. The concept of true valor and endurance does not exist, it is not conceivable anymore.
Dec 23, 2020 21 tweets 5 min read
1) There comes a time where every man has his breaking point.

That day was today for me.

After EVERYTHING, falling off a ladder, my kitty being sick and doing her best impression of a cow on my carpet, assembling a day bed, and NOT FINDING FOUR ROSES ANHWHERE, I turned to this: 2) "What was your breaking point Fudge?"

WELL APPARENTLY WE'RE ALL SO FUCKING HARD IN OUR FUCKING PANTS SIMPING FOR TRUMP THAT WE'RE ARGUING HOW MUCH OF OUR MONEY THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE SENDING BACK TO US THAT WE HAVENT SAID DONT TAKE OUR FUCKING MONEY
Dec 21, 2020 14 tweets 3 min read
1) Let me drop an uncomfortable truth on everyone.

Literal fucking genocides are happening in CA and NY, and they’re the most fucked up genocides of all time, because the victims have been conditioned to do the mass murder themselves and are then given the tools to carry it out. 2) See, the whole decriminalizing hard drugs? The decriminalizing of knowing std spreading? Here’s the hypothesis: give a person enough rope and they’ll hang themselves.
Dec 17, 2020 5 tweets 2 min read
Someone rents home. Landlord denies maintenance of broken part of the structure. Does the renter know his rights to deny landlord rent until the maintenance is performed? Does a renter know the steps he must take to show a judge he is prepared to pay back rent upon maintenance? Does a renter even know where he would go to look for his rights?

If he did know, would he be able to navigate a 20 year old website to find the required information he needs in order to enforce rights for which legislation was written to provide him?
Dec 17, 2020 10 tweets 2 min read
I've decided that I will not be spouting off an uninformed, kneejerk opinion on a topic I don't have enough information about. Instead I shall cast shame on the idiots who do, and bring further confusion to everyone. We as a people have been defanged not only by being fed wheelbarrows full of raw unmitigated horseshit, but even the knowledge of where to go to find this information has been buried beneath obscuring layers of horseshit thicker than the planet's crust.
Dec 17, 2020 13 tweets 3 min read
Hey, you.

Yeah, you.

You're not alone. "Of course I'm not alone, I have people on Twitter I talk to!"

No, fuck that, dumbass. I'm not real. Your twitter followers aren't real. Likes and retweets are fake fucking points meant to skinner box you into wasting time on stupid shit.

I mean, you, as a person, aren't alone.
Dec 8, 2020 7 tweets 2 min read
1) So. Waited to talk about this 'galactic federation' nonsense.

I'm going to put it like this:

If aliens were at all smart, they would NEVER TOUCH EARTH and PRAY TO THEIR FILTHY XENOS GODS EVERY FUCKING DAY we never leave our spinning dirtball. 2) Why?

Well, think about it.

In almost EVERY major sci-fi piece of literature and culture we have, HUMANITY FUCKING CONQUERS THE GALAXY.

If aliens were looking at our culture, they'd say, 'hey, they dream about space, let's see what about it they li- OH WHAT IN THE FUCK?!?'
Dec 1, 2020 12 tweets 2 min read
1) Anyone passingly familiar bidding for state government projects won’t be surprised by this.

It is an unspoken fact in the US that the only thing that approaches the depth of Federal pockets is that of State and local governments. 2) As you approach state and local levels, you trade the raw money-printing power of the Feds with increasingly less oversight and regulation, until companies can literally sell societal snake oil, certified by ‘professional boards’ staffed by THEIR OWN employees and lobbyists.
Nov 6, 2020 7 tweets 1 min read
There are no blue states.

There are only swing states that Democrats had enough time in to build massive mail in ballot fraud programs so they could keep their incestuous oligarchic party in power. The hundreds of millions the Democrats demanded be sent to the USPS? A payoff for future services rendered. The US Postal Service is integral to ensuring that ballots only reach desired demographics, removing returning ballots from unwanted voters, and transporting fake ballots.
Nov 3, 2020 8 tweets 2 min read
1) Stupid late thread. Blame the wandering drunken wildebeest that beat on my sliding patio door and my front door incessantly until I told them to fuck off, only to realize it had the wrong address.

I’d like to talk about social desirability bias. 2) We discuss this in the polls, usually, but something strikes me as odd. Outside of blue cities, people aren’t afraid to declare their support for Trump. Even in Myrtle Beach, I’m surrounded by people who support Trump.

the thought occurs... who’s polled saying they’re afraid?
Oct 28, 2020 23 tweets 5 min read
1) It might help ensure more choice in the market if your other partners in big tech and media didn’t act to immediately crush any microblogging platform that directly competes with Twitter.

Fuck it. Thread time. Jack won’t read it but fuck it. Let’s lay it out. 2) By framing the problem as whether people trust Twitter is acting in good faith is disingenuous.

It is on record and provable that Twitter is blatantly dishonest with the moderation tools it uses and the methods used to shape conversations.

Oct 27, 2020 26 tweets 5 min read
Obama is campaigning for Biden.

4 years after Obama left office.

The media isn't saying it, so I will.

Tradition is former presidents RETIRE from politics. Not set up foundations (OFA anyone?) AND ACTIVELY CAMPAIGN FOR THEIR SUCCESSORS. Or get the FBI to spy on opponents >.> I said that Obama was really still in charge of the Democrat party.

The pick of Kamala Harris as running mate and now Obama actively trying to carry Biden across the finish line guarantees it.

A vote for Biden is a vote for an Obama third term.

This... this is fucking HERESY.
Oct 21, 2020 18 tweets 4 min read
1) So, this is actually a fair point here, I'm going to grant this is a very fair point.

She breaks character for one minute and acts nice to ACB, which causes her purity spiraling shithead colleagues to attack her.

Keep in mind, the CA Democrats refused to endorse her in 2018. 2) However, as fair as that point is, I am fresh out of fucks to give.

Behold, my field where I farm my fucks.

See that it is barren.

It is so barren, I'm having to lease it out to a retirement home for aged GOP Senators where they can safely frolic under the sun.
Oct 21, 2020 11 tweets 2 min read
1) Let's do some math.

No, Caroline Biden is not the niece Hunter was banging. Caroline Biden is his cousin, she's the daughter of Joe Biden's brother.

She's also 17 years younger than Hunter.

In 2013, she was 26, Hunter was 43, and the family $$$ guy

2) I mean $$$ guy in that the corruption schemes were all flowing through him.

Which means the payoffs and assorted cash airdrops keeping Caroline Biden out of jail were probably from Hunter.

Who, it seems based on new evidence, has a thing for teenage girls.
Oct 20, 2020 16 tweets 3 min read
1) Here’s what no one’s saying yet:

The State Department not only knew, but they were up to their ears in the scheme, facilitating the meetings and clearing the way for international travel by the big players in the Biden pay for play ring. 2) Doughboy Vindman being offered positions in Ukraine’s government? That was just part of the kickback schemes. Yovanovich was going to be getting cushy ambassador spots for her part. People were going to get upper level cabinet positions so they could get a cut.
Oct 15, 2020 30 tweets 5 min read
1) Aaaaaand more keeps dropping.

See, it’s funny. Trump supporters knew all about Hunter, and it was extremely relevant to the election as Hunter’s actions while Joe was VP was just a preview of what would occur if Joe was the president. 2) Meanwhile, the WORST the Dems could come up with wasn’t even against Ivanka and Jared, who were in the fucking White House, but instead a 15 minute meeting that was clearly a Fusion GPS and State Department setup, a meeting which was a waste of time per everyone’s testimony.
Oct 13, 2020 6 tweets 2 min read
1) Thinking they were winning WI, PA, and MI is precisely the mindset that lost Hillary the election.

I’m not picking on this guy, why Trump’s holding rallies there is a legit question to ask.

And the answer is simple: strategery. 2) Sometimes, the path to victory is not furthering your own path, but fucking up the opponent’s path.

What do Iowa, Pennsylvania, and North Carolina have in common?