Domestic abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse, rape...are GENDERED crimes, because they are overwhelmingly patterned by sex of victim & perp. Men are vastly more likely to be perps & women victims. If we don't face this we won't face the structural causes & we won't end it.
Men are also victims of domestic abuse, sexual assault & rape. Women can be & are perpetrators. This type of intimate family violence also occurs in same-sex relationships. Children sometimes abuse parents. Carers can & do abuse those they care for.
These facts don't change overall pattern & it's wrong to ignore macro picture. Brutal facts, the body count matters; & it's almost all women, it's nearly all women. This doesn't mean & is never an excuse for ignoring male victims, not seeing female abusers, missing elder abuse.
Epidemic levels of sexualised male violence against women, children & marginalised men happens in a context where women are objectified, sexually objectified, structurally disempowered, institutionally disbelieved & blamed for the choices of others to abuse them.
Crimes of male sexual violence against women, children & marginalised men take place in context of racism, social class oppression, oppression of children, masculinisation of wealth, feminisation of care, cultural & media eroticisation of male sexual violence against women.
If we don't acknowledge the gendered context we actually miss a vital point which is that this whole situation is made & not born. If we don't acknowledge context of gendering then we miss point that being born male does not dictate one to abuse & rape women & children.
This is a vital & positive message because it means the way things are isn't the way they have to stay. What is learned can be unlearned. We can teach something new, we can all change, we can all be better. The law of the bully has gone on too long.
& a colleague has pointed out that none of this justifies or excuses the erasure of male victims. Which I agree with. Because there is nothing that excuses or justifies the erasure of male victims from a Bill from our government which supposedly has a duty of care to all victims.
And if anyone is interested in noticing & reducing gender stereotyping in children then I & @LetToysBeToys have worked on it here, in a longer guide on my website, & a pretty poster here! lettoysbetoys.org.uk/raising-childr…
