somebody did a "we bought a house" brag and the place was clearly at least $1.75 million (I'm precise, Los Angeles real estate is fantasy baseball camp) and the dunderheadedness of it all during quarona was so amazing to behold, I don't miss sports, I have this
"guys I haven't posted about this but I'm so happy I bought this house" oh man, it was amazing. AMAZING. The group chat was en fuego, I've never felt such delight.
the best part is they bought the house months before quarona and decided to post brag about it DURING quarona, oh my God yes inject it in my VEINS
Love a midcentury modern flex durante la quarona when people are dying and we can't even properly mourn our dead, whew. I miss the existence on this plane of Harris Thee Wittels for many reasons and just one is the coining of humblebrag. What I wouldn't give to high five the lad.
And if anybody is like "have compassion, they should be proud they bought a house" like...they bought it months and months ago and just decided to brag about it very recently. Oh man. My compassionate self is not linking the post, as we've all been idiots online (me included).
I'm here for all the adopted pet brags, the baby brags, the graduation brags, the strength related "I lifted 18 million pounds" or whatever brags (I don't know from fitness, that shit just seems cool), etc.
It reminded me of this one celeb who bragged a ton early on about how they were totally prepped for all of this and did an extensive online tour. Like...your wealth and your anxiety disorder intersected to prep you for this, that's great, don't dunk on those who have neither.
I'm here for Quarona Engagement brags. I love that shit. That's so hot. You can't avoid each other, you're genuinely enjoying each other, and you're like, "You know what? Let's just get married and be forever quarantined together." This is bold and feels honest tbh.
I'm also here for Selling A Book brags. That shit is HARD and if you managed to get it together enough to sell a book and deal with all the contract stuff through quarona, go for it, you creative monkey, I fucking wish I had the focus for it. That's awesome. Seriously.
I'm mad I don't even know the house people because I bet they've got a pool they decided not to show "out of respect" or something but if they DID? I'd be all up in that pool. Yes I'd still be tweeting this. Maybe they'd find the thread while I was in their pool. "Sorry, Chad!"
In conclusion, if you're wealthy, I don't care how self-aware you are or aren't, I want to be invited to your pool.
When I get rich and buy a house I WILL be bragging about it but only if it's not during a global pandemic or immediately before, after or during a terrorist attack or like hmm...if some awesome artist dies, I will wait 48 hours to brag and then I'm gonna brag so hard.
