Thread by @matvelloso

Microservices: "We solved DLL hell by wrapping every binary with HTTP"

Don't at me

Narrator: Wait, but that doesn't solve th...

Dev: Shut up

You still get dependency hell, you still have a gazillion fragmented things, you still have versioning problems but on the bright side you lost the ability to debug anything

"Then we realized problems were still there so we blamed the binaries, then we re-wrote them all in JavaScript.

After that we felt depressed and started questioning the meaning of life"

If you rewrite your entire backend in JavaScript, things will get much simpler and more stable. I mean, just look at how simple and stable is client side JavaScripHUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry, let me try again with a straight face

People, here's where you place the ad for your microservices framework that will solve all of that so we can respond with sarcasm

Also microservices:

"That's OK, we will leave every hard problem for the network layer to sort it out"

It's like as if the network was a big carpet you could swipe all the dirt under and hope nobody will ever find it.