I don’t think I trust this.
People are now explaining Bitcoin to me, and honestly, it’s blah blah blah collectibles (My Little Pony?) blah blah blah computers (got one of those) blah blah blah crypto (sounds creepy) blah blah blah understand the risk (I don’t, though.)
I know you mean to help, but full disclosure: I’m only allowing myself alcohol at weekends during this lockdown and I’m on my fourth very strong Old Fashioned and honestly, you might as well send me a scroll written in Sanskrit. 
Away with your smooth pick-up lines. Only a creep makes a move on a woman when she’s drunk.
God bless every single one of you now earnestly explaining bitcoin to me as though I’ll grasp it if you break it down properly. Things like this are white noise to me. I cannot and will not ever understand Bitcoin, but I love you for thinking that I can or will.
This doesn’t sound at all sinister and it makes me eager to understand Bitcoin. *blinks “help me” in Morse code*
I don’t want to programme money. I can barely work my TV.
