Thread by @GailSimone

WHOA, FOLKS.

Who would like to hear a short true tale that involves love, lust, betrayal, violence, bloody revenge, and a family torn apart by greed and rage?

1/

Well, tough tenders, you nerds, because I don’t have a story like that, I have a weirdo story of weird nothingness and it has heartbreak and hilarity and none of those other things.

2/

Okay, see, here’s the deal, one of my favorite comic creators is @GeneHa. Gene is one of those guys who, when you look at his art, you just want to see him draw everything. Scooby Doo, Namorita, a can of stew, it doesn’t matter, just have him draw it.

3/

He co-created TOP TEN with Alan Moore, my favorite ABC series...he created MAE, which is incredible. He was one of those guys I was kind of shy to meet, because I found his art so intimidating.

He’s that good. He also gots an Eisner.

4/

Oh, I’m sorry, I meant FOUR Eisners.

5/

Anyway, here’s how I met him and how just this week, he betrayed me in the most unexpected and scurrilous manner.

5/

There are a few creators to this day that freak me out a bit because I love their work so much. I meet actors, musicians, director and more all the time and I often don’t even know who they are,but some creators...it’s overwhelming and I clam up.

6/

So, several years ago I was invited to a lo0vely con in Barcelona, one of the first I’d ever been invited to where I was a feature guest. I had no idea how it would go, or if the readers would even know me, but it was lovely and they were amazing and kind.

Gene Ha went, too.

6/

I already messed up the thread numbers.

This content is FREE.

7/

European cons are very different, more like a festival with music and all sorts of entertainment, and the readers are young and hip and it’s just incredibly fun. Our hotel is next to a former bullfighting arena, there’s a beautiful fountain,it’s one of my best memories. 8/

And one of the things is that the con has several meals for featured guests...one of which might have been the best meal of my life. Thank you, @davidmacho!

And several were in the hotel restaurant.

I am still intimidated by @GeneHa, mind you.

9/

One thing I remember about that restaurant is that the first ingredient on the vegetarian dish was ham.

Anyway! So Gene is seated again my table and we do to talk much because he is Gene Ha and I am nobody.

But he says ‘Gail, can I ask a favor..’

10/

No, I have to stress, @GeneHa has been perfectly nice to everyone, he seems like a very nice guy, despite rumors I heard later that he eats babies.

SEEMED nice.

And I gather up some courage and ask what favor?

11/

This bit I don’t remember exactly. But he had, I believed a female friend who was a reader of mine, and she gave him her journal, and asked him to ask writers she liked to write a short story in her journal. It would mean a lot to him. I said sure.

12/

I don’t remember what I wrote but apparently Gene was happy, and he said he would draw a character of my choosing for me.

Now, some of you remember a slightly similar Darwyn Cooke story and this was almost that painful...a favorite artist will draw any character I love...

13/

How do you choose?

It’s impossible.

My usband actually had to step in with suggestions because it was like, ‘which superpower do you want?’

He mentioned several, including different BOPers, and I just blurted out, Black Canary.’

14/

No, to be honest, I did not expect anything,it was an international con, my little ‘story’ took very little time. I didn’t want Gene 5o stay up drawing when he could be resting or having fun or doing paid commissions. But I thought it was nice of him to offer.

15/

But the next night at dinner, he says, ‘Oh, Gail, my friend loved your page. I have something for you.’ I thought it might be a quick scrubble.

And he, @GeneHa, one of the best, one of my art heroes, gives me this...

16/

WHAMMO.

17/

Now, this was one of the first times one of my art heroes just gave me a piece of art made for me without us having worked together, and I had to hold back tears. It’s so gorgeous. To say I cherish it is a huge understatement.

18/

Now, it probably sounds like exaggeration but I put that up on my desk in the hotel and my nightstand at night so I could see it the whole trip. I took it with me on each con day because I was afraid to lose it.

To this day, it’s the screensaver on my kindles.

19/

So it’s a perfect memory for me...fave artist, favorite character, incredibly kind gesture, all rolled up with memories of Spain and the readers and the other creators I met, and every time I see it which is dozens of times a day, it makes me happy. 20/

Because that’s what the great artists do...the impact hits and you remember the moment emotionally. Everything gets wrapped up inside and it’s no longer just a pin up, it’s this cocktail of wonder.

The best artists are about soul.

21/

So, years pass, and Gene turns out to be a wonderful guy (except for the cruel betrayal coming up, I’m getting to it).

He;a always raising money for the best causes. He’s kind. He’s generous, he’s supportive, and his art only gets better.

And weirdly we become friends.

22/

We joke back and forth all the time, occasionally do each other small favors, we chat about topics important to us. He;s one of the line-in-the-sand guys against harassing creators, he’s awesome. And I have my Canary. All great.

Until now.

23/

Gene was, as always, using his art to raise money for a good cause, and he auctioned off a cover to a Wonder Woman comic he thought I wrote. He asked if he sent it to me, would I sign it, to add a bit of value. Proble was, I;m not in the comic. 24/

It’s a mistake, I am I. The issue previous to his cover.

Not a big deal, this stuff happens all the time.

But Gene says he’s sorry for the mixup and he’s going to ‘send me a doodle.’

He said his last thing was ‘just a sketch.’

25/

So, I said, please don;t worry, it’s fine, no need to go to that effort.

But of course, I covet, because I don’t know what a GENE HA ‘doodle’ looks like.

A couple days ago, I got it in the mail.

And now I know.

And I know what betrayal looks like.

26/

So it’s just a small envelope. The ‘doodle’ is a little bigger than a deck of cards.

The sketch is wrapped in plastic, it is laying sideways in the envelope.

And I swear this is how I opened it and my one hundred percent real reaction.

27/

I open the envelope...first thing i notice, it’s in grewash and some color, so his ‘doodle’ is actually beautifully realized.

The second thing I notice is long red hair.

For a moment, I think it’s Barbara as Oracle.

Which would be...well, amazing.

27/

But it’s not, it’s just as good, maybe better.

It’s RED SONJA.

The character I love more than oxygen.

One of my art heroes sent me one of my most beloved characters as a beautiful little sketch. GLEE.

BUT WAIT.

29/

I messed up the numbering again.

30/

Dog needs out, hold on one moment.

31/

Okay. So I open the envelope and start to pull it out, realize who it is, am delighted and filled with glee.

Look it.

I got this in the mail.

32/

I open it a bit more like Charlie Bucket opening the Wonka bar...it’s gorgeous.

33/

This is what Gene Ha calls a ‘doodle,’ you guys.

So I’m flipping out.

Then I take it fully out of the envelope.

GODDAMMIT.

34/

It’s THIS.

35/

LET’S TAKE A LOOK, SHALL WE?

36/

FIRST!

We get a beautiful portrait of the She-Devil.

That’s a GOOD thing, right?

Only...

A) she says she has B.O.

B) She is literally smelling her stinky pits.

And, to add insult to injury...

37/

HE SIGNED HIS NAME IN HER BRIGHT ORANGE ARMPIT HAIR.

38/

“Dear Mr. Ha, would you please draw my favorite character and have her on the toilet and if it’s not too much trouble would you sign your name in poop?

Sincerely,

NO ONE.

39/

Someone in the thread pointed out that he signed in armpit stink, not hair, and I admit that may be correct.

NOT BETTER.

40/

So here is my world, it teeters on the head of a pin.

Is this a cruel trick, or the best sketch gift ever?

Or some bastard combination of both?

All I know for sure is...

41/

...this isn’t over, Mr. Ha.

Next time I see you, I will hug you.

Then I will punch you.

And somehow, I will have my revenge.

And it will be stink-themed.

Stink.

Themed.

End/

PS. You’re laughing now, @GeneHa, but wait’ll you face the CURSE OF THE HYRKANIWN which is basically bad egg smell.

I’ll stink you GOOD!

PPS. “Hyrkanian,’ I mean. Extra typos today because greyhound insists on laying her head on my arm.

LATE BREAKING ADDITION:

You guys. You guys.

SO, if you read the above thread, you know I was teasing one of my favorite artists, @GeneHa about a little sketch he sent that I adore, showing a certain She-Devil as a stinky.

WELL THERE IS A TWIST, MY FRIENDS.

Okay, so I started a pretend feud with Gene, whom I love to pieces. And I love his little stinky Sonja sketch. And I was all set to tease him about it.

But something happened.

See, I bought a little frame to put the sketch in so I could have it by my desk.

And I took the sketch out of the clear cover he had put it in for the first time.

I didn't realize it was a folded piece of paper.

And there was a message inside.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE A PRETEND BLOOD FEUD WITH HIM NOW THAT HE MADE ME CRY HAPPY TEARS THIS MORNING.

Checkmate, @GeneHa!

You BEAT me!

:)

PPPS.

You are awesome.

Okay. UNBELIEVABLY, there is a new chapter to this epic tale of treachery and dishonor.

So far, as you know if you read the above thread, @GeneHa, one of my favorite artists, sent me a sketch of my favorite character, but she's smelling her stinky pits. WEIRD.

/1a

And I teased him about it GOOD even though I put it in a frame right by my computer so I could look at it and smile all day.

/1b

Proofiness! /1c

Okay, so I have been teasing Gene because I love this sketch but I want him to think we are in a blood feud.

But here's where this story gets EVEN MORE ADORBS, which just isn't fair and is making me ANGER

SO ANGER

/1d

So. Because he is a good guy when he's not sending stinky pit art through the US mail, he was auctioning off a Wonder Woman cover for a really good cause, supporting female and non-binary comic retailers.

And someone bid a great bid and one. But there was more...

/1e

If I understand correctly (I was not really part of this discussion)...part of the winning bid was that Gene would draw and color a small sketch of the winner's choosing to go along with the cover. Bonus, right?

(Gene, forgive me if I have this bit wrong).

/1f

So I am in on the loop at this point because there is discussion of the cover being sent to me first so I could sign it as well, and I am looped in with Gene and the winning bidder about the fulfillment a little bit.

Gene asks her what character she wants for the sketch.

/1g

And she says, QUITE SENSIBLY, 'Gal Godot as Wonder Woman.'

I mean, it's Gene Ha, he nails likenesses, it's a great idea.

Only...

/1h

Gene was skimming and misread the request.

Are you ready?

This made me laugh SO HARD.

/1i

He thought she said, “Gail,” not “Gal.”

Hahahaha

/1j

So he drew ME as Wonder Woman.

After the stinky Sonja, he drew ME as a MISTAKE.

I can't stand it.

:)

After all the weird twists in this story, that kills me.

/1k

So I am laughing about it, and a couple days later, I get ANOTHER envelope from @GeneHa.

Yessir, I did.

/1l

Wanna see?

/1m

BAM!

So basically, it's this. Wonder Woman was the first superhero that ever 'spoke' to me, she changed my life forever, and one of my very, very favorite artists drew me as her and then sent it to me as a gift.

All my life I wanted to be an Amazon. Gene made it come true. :) /1o

This is going next to my computer and will never be taken down.

:)

/1p

I might love you a little bit, @GeneHa.

GLEE!

That's all, just happy.

:)

Hope someone made YOUR day, all of you out there!

/end