Thread by @HoarseWisperer

By now, you may have heard that Trump retweeted a post of mine a couple days ago.

That’s been a bit of a scene, so I thought I’d give y’all a ride-along on what that’s been like...

1/

So, there I was on an ordinary Monday eve playing the Wizard of Oz slots app, as important people often do, when Yashar’s post popped up.

Legit stared at my phone for a solid five minutes like “Wut? That’s... unpossible.”

2/

It is not every day that a person who happens to be the President of the United States retweets someone who happens to often call him a fuckopotamus.

That is not a common occurrence.

3/

When Trump retweets you, you gotta figure all hell’s going to break loose.

The guy has 80 million followers.

Once you debit out bots, at least some of them have to be real.

Several might not even be Russian.

4/

Granted, those aren’t Obama numbers. THAT guy is popular.

Still, having only 37-million fewer followers than a real President is still something, I suppose.

No shame in finishing a distant second to Obama. A silver medal is nice too.

5/

So, anyway, when Trump retweets you some things just happen.

First, the tweet gets seen a lot. Like 4.5 million times in a day.

6/

And then a lot of people swarm in and crawl around your feed.

And a bunch of *other shit* you’ve posted gets read a lot.

Like 15 million times in a day.

7/

And then you get just snowed under in an avalanche of replies.

8/

Not all of the replies were from people on my side.

Some were from Trump supporters reaching out to share thoughtful feedback.

Naturally, I carefully ministered to their feelings.

9/

Above all, the volume of activity a Babyfingers retweet unleashes is pretty enormous.

In total, I got 344,000 notifications yesterday.

And all of that makes your phone moody and distant.

You ask “Are you okay?”

And your phone gives you a chilly “I’m fine.”

10/

But you know it is not fine because no one says “I’m fine” when they are, in fact, fine.

Trump made my phone upset. I’ll never forgive him for that.

I just want to hire a sitter, take my phone out to a nice dinner and really be US again.

11/

It isn’t all downside though.

My eventual epitaph got a fairly sizable upgrade.

A person who was once a mere “Twitter rando” according to Rolling Stone is now “One of [Trump’s] biggest critics” according to HuffPo.

So, I have that going for me.

12/
huffpost.com/entry/trump-re…

And also on the upside...

Some very kind souls found the Ko-Fi link in my bio and put a few beans in my can.

Boom! Just like that I was sitting on $43 dollars.

12/

Being a shrewd businessman, I invested the newfound capital in commodities.

A tank of gas and a four-pack of Guinness.

I like to keep my assets liquid.

Thank you, kind souls. I will toast to you fourfold.

13/

This whole retweet thing has been hilarious.

Me of all people. A dude on a sofa. An unrelenting critic.

There is no reason whatsoever why Trump should have retweeted me.

And that made it hysterical. Hope you laughed as hard as I did.

14/

It was a rare moment of total hilarity in a moment that could use a few more of those.

Thanks for enjoying it with me. I appreciate y’all.

And now I’m going to go have one of those Guinnesses, I think.

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