Thread by @patio11

In a text-based conversation with an Uber courier and he opened with a salarymanism so I salaryman'ed right back and then watched him, via the typing indicator, draft at least five attempts at the return salvo before landing a really well crafted one.

"Game appreciates game."

Conversation flow:

"I'm very sorry but [operational issue] so I must humbly ask for your understanding that the delivery will be delayed."

"Thank you for your message. We are not in a particular hurry and would be honored if you could deliver at an unhurried pace."

Here's the things I expect a salaryman to think at this point in the conversation:

"Oh wow your Japanese is good... wait... I can't say that."

"Oh wow your salarymanning is good... wait... that implies I'm socially superior to a customer. Nope."

"'Thank you for your understanding. I will deliver it as expeditiously as possible.' Nope, ignores a direct suggestion."

"'Thank you for your understanding. I will come at an unhurried pace.' No, can't suggest I'd actually not be as fast as possible."

"AHA. 'Thank you for your kind words. I will use all efforts to perform appropriately. Thank you in advance for your understanding.' Nailed it."

Me: Oh wow, I'm going to write that down.

There are books and classes for this sort of thing, but what most organizations do is have several people who have gotten very, very good at it around to act as local experts for reviewing customer-facing correspondence.

(I am good enough to appreciate that I am not one.)

Sample question, much debated among salaryman cognoscenti recently: how do you observe politely that you hope your customer is doing well during these troubled times without implying that you think the times are troubling them, specifically, or implying the reverse.