Thread by @michael22joseph

Hey @AubriWasHerName, I’m going to respond publicly because I think you ask a great question that others may want answered as well: can you have a family in #Surgery, particularly #CTSurgery? Short answer: yes! But I’ll say more.

1/X

So first, a bit of my background: I’m an incoming gen surg resident and will pursue a CT fellowship. I have 2 kids, a 6yo stepson and a 2mo old. I was raised by a female CT surgeon who had 4 kids in gen surg residency (shoutout @jschwabe). My wife is a hospitalist attending.

2/X

Surgery has gotten much friendlier to work/life balance, but training will be very hard no matter what. Your husband will be working 80+ hrs/week for 5-8 years. That’s challenging. But doable! Having a support system is CRUCIAL.

3/X

You may have to reframe your expectations during training. It becomes about maximizing quality of time together rather than quantity. He will miss things, important things, and that will stink. But you have to view it as a means to an end.

4/X

After training, your career can be what you make it! I know some general surgeons who work 35-40hrs/week, and I know surgeons who work >80hrs even as an attending. It all comes down to your husband’s and your goals.

5/X

One thing to keep in mind is that academic CT surgery is fairly different from private practice, and PP CAN be more family friendly, generally. BUT academics is totally doable as well. But I would encourage him to spend some time with a non-academic to get perspective.

6/X

Some advice for him that I learned from my moms example: expectation management is the single most important thing for your kids. NEVER promise to go to or do something unless you are 100% sure you can do it. Absence is felt much harder if he was supposed to be there.

7/X

Some advice for you: hold him accountable when you need to. There will be MANY times when he doesn’t have a choice and you can’t control that, but when he does have a choice he needs to choose family. Learn to tell the difference, and give grace when can’t choose.

8/X

Training was harder on my mom than it was in me. I was too little to remember much, and she was good about holding up her promises. It will be the same for me, and for you guys. But as an attending, my mom was home for dinner ~90% of the time, she helped with homework, etc.

9/X

All of this to say: if your husband wants to do surgery and have a family, he can! It will require sacrifices on both your parts, and be tough at times, but is very doable. Training will have less balance but is not your whole life. You have more control as an attending.

10/X

Tagging others with more experience in case they have anything to add: @DrZeigler1 @NahushMokadam @TomVargheseJr @maraantonoff @jschwabe @tssmn #tssmn #CTSurgery #surgtwitter

Also tagging for advice to husband/dad interested in CT surg: @laura_seese @DavidDOdell @ammara_a @JulieDoberne @melissaaherrin @HelenmariG @EdwardPercy5 @leahbackhusmd @tomcnguyen