Fuck it, let's do this. Let's talk about LIARS.
We have two flavors of people emerging on social media (the rest have the decency to shut the fuck up):
- Stupid
- Liar (and there are many flavors)
Let's discuss #StupidOrLiar.
We have two flavors of people emerging on social media (the rest have the decency to shut the fuck up):
- Stupid
- Liar (and there are many flavors)
Let's discuss #StupidOrLiar.
First, Stupid.
I cut the ignorant, misinformed & stupid a lot of slack. Maybe life dealt them a bad hand or they're being used as pawns. It's only when they self-identify as smart, refuse to seek facts, are stubborn, incurious & LOUD that they become annoying - or ruinous.
2/
I cut the ignorant, misinformed & stupid a lot of slack. Maybe life dealt them a bad hand or they're being used as pawns. It's only when they self-identify as smart, refuse to seek facts, are stubborn, incurious & LOUD that they become annoying - or ruinous.
2/
The way to handle the stupid is educate, avoid, or give them something to do that they can handle without wrecking everything.
But it's the LIARS that are far scarier and they're multiplying, especially here.
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But it's the LIARS that are far scarier and they're multiplying, especially here.
3/
LIARS fall into several categories, but let's stick to the two major groupings:
-Lying to others
-Lying to themselves
Which of these do you think is scarier?
4/
-Lying to others
-Lying to themselves
Which of these do you think is scarier?
4/
People lie to others for lots of reasons, like:
-self-preservation
-to get what they want
-panic
-keep up appearances
-avoid discomfort or hurting someone's feelings
-get out doing what they don't want
Many of these are understandable, sometimes necessary, often forgivable.
5/
-self-preservation
-to get what they want
-panic
-keep up appearances
-avoid discomfort or hurting someone's feelings
-get out doing what they don't want
Many of these are understandable, sometimes necessary, often forgivable.
5/
Most people who lie occasionally can & should be forgiven. It's human nature.
It's habitual LIARS, who lie about big things, I'm talking about here.
I'm also not talking about bullshitters. Big blowhards who regularly exaggerate because it's part of their oversized persona.
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It's habitual LIARS, who lie about big things, I'm talking about here.
I'm also not talking about bullshitters. Big blowhards who regularly exaggerate because it's part of their oversized persona.
6/
Some are better at outward lying than others. Some are easier to fact-check. Some are more malicious.
But those who know they're lying understand there's a risk/reward. The smart ones also seek to minimize distribution of their lies to only those who need to hear them.
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But those who know they're lying understand there's a risk/reward. The smart ones also seek to minimize distribution of their lies to only those who need to hear them.
7/
The best way to handle big, habitual liars is to extract them from your work and personal life, as much as possible. Any kind of engagement with them - even as public figures - is a self-flogging of sorts. A corrosion of mental health.
8/
8/
Speaking of mental health, let's talk about the scariest kind of liar: one who believes their lies. There are psychological & tactical reasons for this.
Psychological:
-the lie is comforting
-it defines who they are
-it's validating, creates purpose
-it excuses other failures
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Psychological:
-the lie is comforting
-it defines who they are
-it's validating, creates purpose
-it excuses other failures
9/
Tactically, people who lie to themselves almost self-hypnotize through repetition. Say something often enough, you believe it.
This is compounded by repetition in self-reinforcing online/offline groups & by cunning, power-seeking liars with agendas, using them as pawns.
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This is compounded by repetition in self-reinforcing online/offline groups & by cunning, power-seeking liars with agendas, using them as pawns.
10/
Being used as a pawn is not a function of intellect. Many of those who lie to themselves are educated. Others simply found a key to manipulate:
- their flaws/needs/hopes/desires/sadness/desperation/insecurities
AND
- *their inability to see it*
I call this #blindsiding.
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- their flaws/needs/hopes/desires/sadness/desperation/insecurities
AND
- *their inability to see it*
I call this #blindsiding.
11/
Self-liars are formidable foes. They're:
-impervious to facts/reason, mainly on issues that threaten their lies
-easy to rile up emotionally b/c the lie is their identity & truth, an existential threat
-mobilize & congregate - lies become truth with an army of reinforcements
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-impervious to facts/reason, mainly on issues that threaten their lies
-easy to rile up emotionally b/c the lie is their identity & truth, an existential threat
-mobilize & congregate - lies become truth with an army of reinforcements
12/
There's no universal formula to neutralize the deluded, but here are some ingredients strategies should consider:
1-appeal to/with emotion, not reason
2-calmly pit multiple lies against each other, tap inner conflict
3-repetition
4-empathy for underlying reason for beliefs
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1-appeal to/with emotion, not reason
2-calmly pit multiple lies against each other, tap inner conflict
3-repetition
4-empathy for underlying reason for beliefs
13/
If you're interested, I've explored this topic in several podcasts:
Why Bullshit Won - ideafaktory.com/bs
Why Rage Rules - ideafaktory.com/rage
The Future IS Belief - TheMcFuture.com/belief
TheMcFuture.com/belief
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Why Bullshit Won - ideafaktory.com/bs
Why Rage Rules - ideafaktory.com/rage
The Future IS Belief - TheMcFuture.com/belief
TheMcFuture.com/belief
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PS - In the Rage episode👆, I talk more about the manipulators - power-seeking liars who use the easily-deluded as pawns. I discussed them in a a political context, but they're abundant in business, academia and elsewhere. I'll save that for another time.
PPS - Indirectly related. I'll work up a version for liars one of these days...
