I've always struggled with being a good member of a team. It felt like I had to either be a "yes man", and suppress my thoughts and feelings, or I would get into "debate mode" and make collaborators feel bad.
I was trying to get other people to understand me before showing that I was interested in understanding *them*
This turns out to be incredibly important.
People are more interested in collaborating when you make it feel good!
It really helps to have a trusted collaborator that knows you're coming from a good place but tend to fall into this pattern, and can help you snap out of it.