THREAD: The Disgusting Culture of Self-Racism in our Own Homes.
“Don’t drink tea - you’ll turn black.”
“Don’t go in the sun. You’ll darken and no one will marry you.”
“Wash your face with milk to become whiter.”
A True Story.
Pic Credit: Adam Jones.
#GeorgeFloydMemorial
“Don’t drink tea - you’ll turn black.”
“Don’t go in the sun. You’ll darken and no one will marry you.”
“Wash your face with milk to become whiter.”
A True Story.
Pic Credit: Adam Jones.
#GeorgeFloydMemorial
An acquaintance once told me a story:
She says, “I once walked in on a friend crying in the bathroom. She had cream all over her face, hands and neck. Different products. She was about 10 years old. She was trying to wash the color of her skin away.”
Pic: Pixabay
She says, “I once walked in on a friend crying in the bathroom. She had cream all over her face, hands and neck. Different products. She was about 10 years old. She was trying to wash the color of her skin away.”
Pic: Pixabay
At ten years old, this girl felt so ugly because of her skin color that she felt the need to apply creams.
And who convinced her of this? Not a police officer or any troll hiding behind a screen on the internet.
No. It was her own family. Her own relatives. Her own blood.
And who convinced her of this? Not a police officer or any troll hiding behind a screen on the internet.
No. It was her own family. Her own relatives. Her own blood.
To this day, one of the first questions that East and South Asian mothers ask about a prospective bride is “how dark/light is she?”
In fact, many consider it an insult if their sons are lighter than their to-be daughter-in-laws. Being dark means being undesirable.
In fact, many consider it an insult if their sons are lighter than their to-be daughter-in-laws. Being dark means being undesirable.
STORY 2: A young woman who spent her childhood years in Pakistan told me a game they used to play.
“All the kids would stand in a circle and put in their hands in,” she explained.
“Whoever had the lightest coloured hand...
Won.”
I was utterly shocked.
“All the kids would stand in a circle and put in their hands in,” she explained.
“Whoever had the lightest coloured hand...
Won.”
I was utterly shocked.
“What? What do you mean ‘won’?” I asked in disgusted horror and confusion.
That’s when she uttered the phrase that perhaps sums up the entire #blacklifematters issue in four simple words:
“That was the game,” she said. “You were victorious because you were lighter.”
That’s when she uttered the phrase that perhaps sums up the entire #blacklifematters issue in four simple words:
“That was the game,” she said. “You were victorious because you were lighter.”
This was the attitude of children in the playground who - it can be said - didn’t know any better.
But this game continued onto adulthood for many young women whose entire lives hung on the thread of their skin pigment.
But this game continued onto adulthood for many young women whose entire lives hung on the thread of their skin pigment.
STORY 3:
I remember this story with particular disgust.
There was a cleaning lady in Pakistan who was referred to as “Kali Massi,” meaning “black lady” but with a much meaner connotation.
She had other siblings who were very fair-skinned and had been married off.
I remember this story with particular disgust.
There was a cleaning lady in Pakistan who was referred to as “Kali Massi,” meaning “black lady” but with a much meaner connotation.
She had other siblings who were very fair-skinned and had been married off.
But because of her skin color, she was condemned to cleaning and doing all the menial chores so that her lighter skinned sisters would not “get dark.”
She was told from a young age that she should not expect to get married - that she was made for “other things.”
She was told from a young age that she should not expect to get married - that she was made for “other things.”
She was Cinderella - but even the magic of Disney would not be able to lift the curse of her dark skin. She died an old woman. Alone. I asked a woman from her cleaning house her name. “I don’t know. I don’t think anyone really ever asked.”
Today - this utterly repugnant attitude has somehow subsisted and survived our immigration from lands of turmoil and persecution.
Like a virus, it has been imported and lives among us.
While we in the south and East Asian communities condemn the horrors being perpetrated
Like a virus, it has been imported and lives among us.
While we in the south and East Asian communities condemn the horrors being perpetrated
in the US, I am forced to take a very long and serious look at the mirror and my own backyard.
I was lucky enough to grow up with parents who loathed such sentiments. But for many people, skin color still decides their destiny.
I was lucky enough to grow up with parents who loathed such sentiments. But for many people, skin color still decides their destiny.
So while we lament and introspect during the #GeorgeFloydMemorial and raise slogans of equality and justice, let’s take a good look at ourselves first.
May we see that we are all God’s children, and that He has only ever distinguished by piety and goodness.
May we see that we are all God’s children, and that He has only ever distinguished by piety and goodness.
