I have never spoken about this publicly. Back in 2014 after I appeared in a congress ad just before elections, the BJP ran an organized online attack against me. And I can't begin to express the kind of anxiety me and my family went through during that period.
They abused me, targetted my character, accused me of being involved in a 300Cr scam, said I had been to jail, tried to use the online campaign to file an FIR against me. I was a young girl, new in politics, not used to this. Although you probably never get used to this anyway.
It went on for weeks. Some trolls even morphed my face on pictures of women in bikinis, etc with text on them saying "ye hai Rahul Gandhi ka yuva josh" and what not. The phone wouldn't stop buzzing for days. It buzzed every second of every day.
I couldn't stop looking at all the things they were saying. The random bs about how I was sleeping with people in the party, how I slept with people to become state president of NSUI, how I was 'bhrashtachar ki rani', a scamster, anti National, abused my religion, my family.
I had JUST moved away from home to Delhi. I tried ignoring the mentions at first but I couldn't after a point. There were pages of 'hasiba amin jokes' for heavens sake. I tweeted speaking my mind one day and then I had media people call constantly and I couldn't handle it.
I remember my mom wouldn't be at peace till I didn't reach my room and she heard the door clicking, I was constantly feeling like someone is going to recognize and attack me on the road, I wouldn't stop crying & panicking for days and world wasn't making sense to me.
I couldn't understand why they'd go behind me like this. I was a young 21year old girl with her whole life ahead of her. I had JUST entered politics, did nothing wrong at all. Why would they target me like this, why the jokes? I deserved better!
My breaking point was my then 10 year old brother replying to trolls on Facebook that said I was sleeping with some congress leaders saying 'she's my didi don't say such things about her'. It broke me. In Goa, my relatives and neighbors spoke to my parents like it's all true.
People did stand by me, and that did help. But the anxiety I faced back then was unbearable. I even had instances of panic attacks where I'd suddenly feel like I can't breathe anymore and like im blacking out. It was very difficult.
And the BJP puts so many through this, on a daily basis. With their organized attacks and trolling and bullying and false accusations that they keep repeating in an organized way trying to turn that into reality. They have NO moral ground left to speak on mental health.
I also never spoke about this for the fear of being labelled an attention seeker btw. And I think that happens with many. Those speaking about mental health issues are often labelled as attention-seekers and that fear stops many from speaking up.
