Thread by @TheViewFromLL2

Trump, on how more Covid-19 testing results in more confirmed cases: "So I said to my people, slow the testing down, please."

Trump, on his request to a fictional child running around: "How about a piece of your immune system."

Trump, on the scenario that the protesters want to see happen across the U.S.: "A real tough hombre is breaking into the room of a young woman whose husband is away at his job as a salesman," but when she calls the police, no one answers.

Trump on his Westpoint speech: "'Sir,' they say to me, 'We have to go. ... After an hour, we land, more inspections. 'Sir, are you ready?' 'Yes I am.' ... The sun is pouring down on me. ... I saluted. Six hundred times! Thank God they were in twos."

" ... I was on the stage for HOURS. For HOURS. I saluted for an hour and a half. Think of it essentially, almost six hundred times. 'Sir we can now leave.' ' Great I'll follow you.'" Trump is now reenacting going down the ramp.

His supporters cheer? What is going on.

Trump on what he said while going down the ramp: "General, I've got myself a problem, General. I'm wearing leather bottom shoes. ... There's no way! I just saluted six hundred times. I'm being baked like a cake! There's no way I can get down the ramp without falling on my ass."

Y'all need to see the chyron for Trump's ramp story.

Trump is ranting about how the fake news media wouldn't play the last ten feet of his walk down the ramp, because he triumphantly ran down to the end. But, he says, when the fake news plays the clip, they misleadingly end it before his triumphant, handsome sprint to the end.

Trump is now proving to the crowd he's capable of drinking a glass of water. He briefly raises a glass to his face and then hurls it down to the floor.

The crowd goes FUCKING WILD.

I know these tweets don't sound like this is a real thing that is really happening, but this is a real thing that's really happening.

Trump, on Biden's relationship with the protesters(?): "Does anyone think he really controls these crazy maniacs?"

But actually, no, no one does think that? Why would anyone think that?

Trump warns that if someone "does something stupid on November 3rd" and Biden wins, then 'If the Democrats are in charge, the protesters will take over, and no one will be in charge.'

Trump on why there was no overflow rally outside, as had been planned: "Sir," they told him, you can't have a rally outside, because, people "sort of attacked our city."

Trump confirms he watched this "sort of" attack happen on TV.

Trump is incredibly sweaty right now.

Trump is telling an incredibly long story about how he personally negotiated the Air Force One contract. He told them: Don't you understand you dumb son of a Butch, don't you understand."

Trump says he demanded a price of less than $4 million. (He must mean billion.)

Trump is back on the teleprompter now. I am very curious how much of the past half hour, if any, was actually part of the prepared remarks, or if it was all just freeform ranting.

Trump is getting a lot of cheers, but his attempts to lead the crowd into booing Biden seem... ineffective. They were booing Pelosi earlier, so they will boo. But the Biden lines aren't bringing it.

Also the Fox News cameraman is going all Blair Witchy for some reason.

Trump tells the crowd what will happen if Biden wins the election: "You use a term that's perfect... and then they call you a racist, they call you a horrible person."

Trump tells the crowd "you're the elite," and launches into a conversation he says he had last week: "He told me, 'Sir, uhh, the elite are working really hard on destroying you!' I told him, Why do you use the term the elite?"

Trump then talks about how nice his properties are.

WINDMILL STORY, EVERYONE DRINK.

People Trump has talked about who have gotten really loud boos: "Crazy Nancy," AOC, "Omar," Gorsuch.

People Trump has talked about who have not gotten boos: Biden.

Trump just got the crowd to boo for Biden, finally.

But Trump didn't just say "Biden" this time, he said "Obama and Biden" repeatedly.

Trump is bragging about how if you "go back one week, then go back 50 days," it's the strongest 50 days on the stock market in the history of all time, so no one there could be brave enough to vote against him because their wives love their 401ks too much.

That's very specific.

Trump is bragging about how he's pro-choice.

Pro-*school*-choice that is.

Well that was some weird shit.

Wow, Greg Gutfeld can't hide how contemptuous he is of Trump. Or rather, he doesn't seem to be trying to hide it.

Gutfeld's guest, on why Trump's supporters are so amazing: "There could be flesh-eating monsters waiting at the door, and all they'd wonder about is, 'Where's my MAGA hat?'"

Gutfeld's guest, talking about Jimmy Kimmel, goes on an extended rant about how people keep using their kids as an excuse to get out of doing things, and how it's lame.

Gutfeld points out that Kimmel's kid has a very serious heart condition. His guest says she didn't know that.

I think the reason Fox has this show is to make you appreciate how much more slick and blingy their usual propaganda operation is.

That's seven My Pillows. Drink.