Ike Ntanzi Profile picture
Jun 22, 2020 47 tweets 17 min read Read on X
My encounter with a Tikoloshi.

A thread.
#Threadist Image
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t shaking as I am writing this. In fact, my hands are trembling so bad that I’m not even sure I’ll manage to finish telling this story to you Image
Okay... maybe I should first tell you a little bit about myself and where I’m from, just so you have a little bit of context as to why such a creature would pay a visit to me. Image
No, I don’t come from a family of witches. Nor am I a witch myself. Help me drown myself in the pool of denial for witchcraft being even a real thing.
Please!
Ngisize! Image
I’m just a 24 year old physiotherapist who is not as fit as physiotherapists are supposed to be, but who cares?! I love my job!
Shouldn’t that be good enough? Image
It’s bad enough that I’m from a family of lawyers,doctors & pastors who make more money than a pub that only closes for 14 hours a week.

Being born into my family is an involuntary agreement to contest in the “Who’s better than the other” hunger games.But I want none of it! Image
Everyone in my family is an overachiever and I’d be lying if I said I gave one fuck about showing up with the least fancy car at family gatherings. I don’t own even a single pair of heels, big deal?!
I am just trying to live my life the best way I know how... and now this?! Image
Last year, I found out from my grandmother that we come from a long line of abathandazi/ prophets. This was after I was plagued by dreams of Zion people beating drums, running around circles and praying out loud in a round church building. The dreams were quiet persistent. Image
She then revealed to me that initially, we were a family of traditional healers, but all of that changed when the Witchcraft Suppression Act 3 of 1957 was introduced during apartheid. This law restricted traditional practices, inflicting fear to black people. Image
This is when a lot of traditional healers decided to join Zion churches and ZCC churches because these churches weren’t strangers to the belief of ancestors and spiritual guides. Image
After that, sangomas at that time used a combination of prayer and herbs to heal people. This protected them from being labeled witches, and being fed to boer hounds. She said that people would be incarcerated for more than 10 years, purely on accusations and pretend witchcraft. Image
Even after apartheid had long sailed the seas, back to where its masters came from, traditional practices for black people in South Africa were never the same.

In my family, the use of amadlozi for divinations and healings had come to a stop. Image
Those who still possessed the gift would rather use it in a Christian manner because even the ancestors before them had done so. The generational knowledge of special herbs had diminished and got replaced by prayer, holy ash and holy water. Image
It became the new way of doing things, and it was better this way because prophets were more accepted in the society, compared to mainstream sangomas, who were ridiculed and called dirty, smelly, animalistic, and possessed by the one who contends against Christ the Messiah. Image
After telling my grandmother about the dreams, she reckoned that I was probably dreaming of Zion-drum- beating people because that is the church that my gifted ancestors went to when they were still above solid ground. Image
“But why are they showing themselves to me?! I’m not an elder in this family! In fact, I don’t even know anything about them in general! I don’t want them! I don’t want their gift... if that’s what this is all about!” I exclaimed to my gogo. Image
I drove back to Johannesburg, since my leave had ended, and while on my way I could’ve sworn there was someone else in the car with me, even though I was certain I was the only one in it. Well, physically at least. Image
I kept on looking at my rear-view mirror, expecting to set eyes on the presence that I felt behind my seat. I took 3 shots of denial mixed with a 2 minute silent prayer to render myself untouchable to the present-yet-absent shadow behind me. Image
I got to my flat around 19:00. I was completely drained from my trip,so I quickly took a shower, iron my scrubs for the next day, & was in bed by 21:00.

I tossed and turned for over an hour, until I decided to drug myself with 2 Allergex tablets and a full spoon of cough syrup. Image
I dozed off in a matter of seconds and immediately saw myself being slowly split into two.
Haibo!!
One part of me was still sleeping, and the other part of me, the conscious one, was floating mid air in the room. Image
Of course I was on tenterhooks!
I hit 109Kg on the weighting scale, so I’m well aware that there’s no way that I can float like a feather in in the air.

I try to air-swim back into my oblivious-sleeping body, but gravity acts against me. Image
I couldn’t get back to my body.
I went into shock, thinking that I was dead or awaiting the notorious angel of death.

Overwrought with fear, I tried screaming, hoping that the sleeping part of me would hear me and wake up but, my voice had been disabled. Image
I then started hearing chuckles and muttering coming from outside my apartment. The voices get closer and closer, and the suspense of what was about to happened kept me silent.
My eyes were now glued to the door. Image
The chuckles stopped, and silence reigned throughout the building. I tried diving back into my sleeping body, but then was frozen by the sight of 4 dwarf persons walking through my closed timber door. Image
One is male, I can tell by the long white beard and the deepened voice as he instructed the others; “Quickly! lets finish the job we come for.” His speech is unintelligible and his IsiZulu dialect is rather strong. Image
They are all wearing ruggedly matching black and red *Thobe* looking gowns.
One runs to my bed, where the other part of me is sleeping, and the others start spitting yellow sputum all over my room. Image
The male one next to my bed climbs up my bed and sits on top of my head. My physical body goes numb, but I am still fast asleep. I watch as it stands up and to sit on my back. Then, on my feet. Image
My body was now as heavy as Lead, and it was as if the sleeping Thembeka, was also aware that she was having a person sitting on top of her.
That is when i abruptly opened my eyes and discovered that I was no longer split into two. Image
I sat up and frightfully examined the room for any traces of the 4 strange little people that had invaded my room.
There was no one in the room, but my body was still numb and heavy like it was in the dream I had just woken up from. Image
When I had gathered that it was safe enough to climb out of bed and go look if the kitchen was also as safe as my bedroom was, I decided to first pray before stepping out of my room. The pictures of the 4 little people spitting all over my room were still flashing before my eyes. Image
I kneel down and say the Lord’s Prayer, but before I could get to the “...but deliver us from all evil.” Part, I hear noises coming from the Kitchen. I quickly open my eyes, and stay still, waiting to hear if the noises would come any closer. They don’t. Image
My heart is racing.

My knees are shaking.

My back is aching and heavy,

My ears start ringing.

I think of screaming out for help but my mind keeps me silent. Image
“What if it’s just buglers. If I scream, they’ll panic and do harm to me. Let me just keep quiet and let them take whatever they want and leave.” I think to myself. I always lock my bedroom door, so I’m not too worried they’ll come in. I’m scared. Image
I pick up a chair from my room and place it by the door, then I start gathering all the books in my room and place them on the chair against the door. My heart is pounding so hard, I’m a second away from having a heart attack.
I can still hear murmuring from Kitchen. Image
I grab my phone and check the time. It’s 23:45. There’s no way I’m going to sleep tonight!
I hear footsteps just outside my door.
Oh God! Help me!

I’m hyperventilating. I really want to scream for help! Image
I press my back hard against the door,Incase they push their way in. I stay like this for over 30 minutes.

The footsteps were gone. The noise coming from the kitchen was also gone. I slept with my eyes wide open and when the sun had risen, I finally had courage to open the door. Image
I slowly made my way to the kitchen with a mop in my hand as my weapon.

Haibo....nothing was taken mos.

I check the kitchen door, it’s still locked. I can’t help but feel a little bit crazy about all of this.

“But I really heard noises this side.” I assured myself. Image
I drag myself to the shower, take my daily caffeine and head out. While on my way to work, I still felt like I wasn’t alone in the car. I played Jouyous Celebration on full blast and hoped whatever presence that was with me would be annoyed and depart from me.

It didn’t. Image
While at work, I got a WhatsApp message from a cousin of mine reading;
[Hey Cuz, need a favor. I need to use your account to put away some money. Level 3, Lockdown is about to hit and I’m scared I’ll spend it all on alcohol. You know how I am. Please cuz.] Image
[Hi Cuz, uhm.. I’m not too sure about keeping your money for you. What if I also embezzle it?] I reply back.
A call comes in minutes after sending that message. It’s her.

“Zoleka, Hi...” I answer cheerfully, hoping I don’t sound too fake. Image
She pleads her case with me until I agree to keep her money for her. She sounds a little bit drunk already.

Immediately after our call, R27 000 comes into my account.

Yehheni! Imali engaka! Image
I confirm that I did receive the money and she’s thankful. She carries on to say that I can also use some of the money if I like.
“You don’t have to even worry about paying it back. Better yet, why don’t you open an account with another bank and let me keep that card?” She says. Image
Like you, I was shocked to hear this.
“Haw, why don’t you open your own account in your name Zonke?” I asked her.
She then told about being involved in something shady and that banks won’t allow her to open an account without having to account on how she has so much cash on her Image
To say that I was appalled by everything that she was saying would be an understatement!
I told her that I was going to send her money back because I didn’t want to be part of whatever scam she was part of.
Like WHAT THE FUCK ZONKE?!! Image
“It’s too late now Thembeka. You’re now part of it!” She says to me before hanging up.

Hhay, ngyalingwa inkos’ impela🤞🏽

I call my mom and tell her about Zonke’s shenanigans, mom also says I must return the money, and i sent it back. Image
@asamngqithi 👁👁 hope you didn’t miss it.

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More from @ikentanzi_

Oct 16, 2020
I told him about all the dreams I had been having, the strange marks and bruises on my body, and the kitchen door incidences. My father was ashamed for having accused me of sneaking out at night, but he was more worried about how uMah would react to all of this.
We asked the prophet why uMah couldn’t join us as he was explaining how to break free from my capturer. He said that his guides didn’t want her in this space. He reckoned that my mother knew why. My mother denied knowing why the prophet denied her access to his indumba.
My father didn’t sleep a wink that night. He stayed awake the entire night, making sure I didn’t escape to spread evil in other people’s homes. I didn’t have dreams that night. I was sure the holy water and holy ash the prophet gave us, worked.
Read 48 tweets
Oct 16, 2020
Unknowingly A Witch.

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Today I am going to tell you a story about how I almost got burnt by the community of Ezakheni, Ladysmith. I will not tell you which section of the Ezakheni Township this took place in, for the protection of my parents who still reside there. Image
There is one thing that I am going to be completely truthful about though… and that is how it all started. Image
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Sep 6, 2020
A Prophet Wanted Me Dead.

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To see them dancing in their snow white and black patterned regalia, waving their red-clay-smeared-arms in the air while chanting songs that I had no doubt carried the very essence of what it meant to be African. Image
This was always an introduction to all the untold stories of my special kind of dreams. I would see them either around a blazing red ball of fire or on top of a green mountain, encircled by bushes of long brown hay beneath it. Image
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Aug 2, 2020
When the dead come to life.

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And just like that, she was left with a cold heart on the shiny-spotless red concrete floor to which her in-laws were meant to see their pessimistic reflections on. Her enduring fight for the privilege of being a Mrs, was deemed a futile act. Image
They rushed to the sight of her frigid body and attempted to resurrect her as though they really wanted her to wake up...heaven knows that their little atrocious hearts chanted DEATH upon her, even when she was already gone. Image
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Jun 22, 2020
After sending that money back, I decided to call Mandy, a friend of mine to come for a sleepover at my place. I tell her that I’ll get us wine, she doesn’t hesitate to say yes. I’m hella relieved that I won’t be spending the night by myself. Image
On my way back home, i pass by Tops and grab 3 bottles of St Ann red wine. That’s her fave.
I get home and take off my mask and scrubs, and jump into the shower.

“Yah, no... this day was Kak! I can’t believe Zonke tried to drag me into the pits..” I think to myself. Image
There’s something so relaxing about the feeling of warm water falling on top of your head- down to your feet. The sound of water falling onto the white tiles below is also soothing the soul. I feel better already! Image
Read 38 tweets
May 6, 2020
I know that y’all have heard about how SOME sangomas are drop dead corrupt in everyway possible. So, I’m going to share a story about how my cousin underwent intwaso even though she had no ancestral calling.

A thread
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It didn’t come as a surprise when we got a call from my cousin saying that she had enrolled into ephehlweni to undergo sangoma training. You see, it is an open secrete that almost everyone in my family has some kind of a spiritual gift. Image
And no, being spiritually gifted doesn’t mean that one has to be a sangoma in a sense of working with herbs and divinations. Healing can be done in many ways. Some people heal through music and dance, some through prayer and prophecies, and some through storytelling... Image
Read 95 tweets

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