Thread by @JKNjenga

JUBILEE MARRIAGE AND THE TALE OF TWO WIFE BEATERS

A thread.

This story is told in traditional wedding ceremonies in many communities around Africa, and you've probably heard it.

I have just tweaked it a little to give it a general context.

X and Y lived in the same village, and they were great friends and neighbours.

Every evening, they took a drink together at the local pub as they caught up with the day's events.

Once in a while, they talked about how they managed their homes, and each wanted to give an impression of a man in control.

"The man of the house must be feared by his wife and children," they told one another.

"When I get home," X would say, "my wife must wake up to warm my food. It doesn't matter how late it is."

"You're too soft," Y would reply. "In my house, even the children must wake up. As I eat, they must sing my praises. I brought them up, so they must respect me."

One day, a hawker sold them whips, and they wondered what they would do with them.

"They are good for imposing party discipline at home," said the hawker. "If you have one of these, your party members will never defy you."

It sounded like a good idea, so X and Y agreed to try them that night.

The hawker showed them how to use the whips by lashing them against the table several times, and they were both impressed.

"It looks like what I need," said Y.

"Me too," said X.

They parted ways at midnight at the intersection that leads to each of their homes.

X told his wife he had met thieves outside, so he wanted her to do something that would scare them away.

"I will whip the cowhide hanging on the wall; and, every time I do so, you must scream."

When Y heard X's wife screaming, he thought X had started imposing party discipline in his home as they had agreed.

He didn't want to betray his friend, so he took out his whip and started whipping his wife.

He chased her around the house, whipping her, abusing her, and kicking her.

"Baba x, what have I done?" she kept on asking.

"You no longer respect me. Today, you'll know who is the boss in this house."

"Baba x, when did I disrespect you?" she inquired.

"Stop asking questions," he said as he pursued her. "Even the children, they have been insulting me, but you cannot even stop them," he said as he charged at her.

The children tried to separate them, but he accused her of telling them to beat him them up.

When he woke up the following day, his wife and children had left.

At that time, he did not know that they would never return.

He looked out of the window and he saw X and Mrs X taking breakfast together outside their house, and they were laughing out aloud.

Y lived alone thereafter.

His wife did odd jobs, educated the children, and they all became successful.

Years later, when he was old, frail, and sickly, he reached out to his wife and children and apologized.

He said he was misled by X.