Thread by @MarkFrancois12

Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys

5th July 1665

Up; and and with great solemnity do I chalk another tally on the wall and look ahead of me with the air of a man who hath seen too much; that I, Mark ne-Francois-Pepys, Britannia’s Leading Patriot and

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2 x Runner up in the Essex Masters Paintball League, am detained at his majesties pleasure. By and by to slopping out and thence the canteen where a single dairylea breakfast and internal pecking order fiercely adhered to; there is little discourse with fellow inmates, that

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whether we are interned for armed robbery, GBH, possession with intent to supply, or non-payment of an on the spot fine for public urination in a municipal flower bed, the delinquent bond unites all, whether your chalk tally extends to the full wall of your cell,

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or like mine, just a single dash, that I was only nicked last night. It unfolded yesterday with Captain Cleverly on our Super Saturday, that there was great talk of the tumult at the other end of the town at ‘Wonderbras get in free night’ at Malibus, the ’prentices there

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taking the liberty of these holydays to kick-off, and to see the apprehensions which this did give to all people at Court who having organised a piss up in a brewery to distract from their failure to organise a lockdown in a pandemic, did Han-cock this up too, and

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presently alarmes beat by drum and trumpet through Rayleigh, Wickford and Basildon and order is given for soldiers, horse and foot, to be in armes! and Cleverly, being a one pint Rambo, and myself being a one pint Francois, square up with these tight jeaned ‘prentices

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but are detained on the A127 Fortune of War roundabout having gone there to make water first. Anon this morning Mr Campbell the custody sergeant did call for his bagpipes and he did play beyond anything ever I heard in my life, with great pains that the instrument do not

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deserve at all; mighty barbarous musick and we begged to be discharged and did gladly receive our formal cautions, that we desire to never hear such again. Porridge. Bed.