Thread by @MarkFrancois12

Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys

6th July 1665

Up and after eggs philistine to Ministry of Patriotism business where all the talk is that for all our world beating the only realms in which we prevail be financial services, armes exports and the arts

1/5

and it were a mighty testament to our unique brand of compassionate patriotism that we did intend to scupper these plague ravaged playhouses and the great thinkers all come, Johnson and Dowden and Dorries who I believe in another life

2/

would be as familiar to us as Marlowe, Byrd and Dekker had not a moral compunction to serve their nation as ineptly as possible robbed us of their art; and that exposed to too much imagination the nation may realise we are self-serving vacuities who believe every last thing

3/

should be measured and history is statues and creativity is 22” alloys and who have no interest in aught but our own ends and who Brextorated with invocations of great authors of whom we have not the slightest interest, and that we are such stuff as screams are made on, it is

4/

best we abolish these arts and direct our energies into tax-breaks and selling RPGs to Emirates instead. So home to dinner, but there staring at the wall all evening I am at contemplating what might be the point of outlasting a plague if when the tide recedes all we are

5/

left with is infrastructure and estate agents. So I rang Rishi Sunak and discoursed 'You know what Rishi lad, chuck the playhouses £1.57 billion out of the Ministry of Patriotism's fruit machine budget' And after the overpriced Maltesers I bought when at the theatre last, Bed.

With thanks to Sophie Plowden for unearthing this amazing image of a show at the original Globe and also to Oliver Dowden who I showed this diary entry to last night and on the strength of it alone, decided to give the arts some money.