Thread by @baddestmamajama

So there’s a bit of coronavirus I want to shed a little perspective on as someone with chronic illnesses - the long term effects.
Dying is scary, but we all know that. But I suspect some people without chronic conditions have no idea what it’s like to live with one.

When I was 29, I was in incredible health. I worked out 6 days a week, dancing and jogging and yoga. Starting in February of that year I started to have a series of debilitating health issues that literally just...started one day. Started and never stopped.

When you have a chronic illness there’s two things that take a very long time to get used to . One, doctors can never tell you REALLY how serious it is. You can take every test, you can track symptoms obsessively, and they can’t tell you if what you have is “dangerous.”

Most chronic conditions have a wide range of symptoms from total remission to, you know, death. So the constant uncertainty, anxiety, and fear is exhausting. And inescapable. And that’s with illnesses *we know way more about than coronavirus*

I was not a particular anxious or fearful person before I got sick. I would say I was pretty brave and bold. But never being able to tell if you’re sinking or swimming is mentally exhausting. You lose all sense of what is a threat. I now have an anxiety disorder as a result.

The second thing about lifelong conditions is, your brain does not change your level of ambition because you now are sick. You are going to want to achieve the things you want right now, and now you have a new enemy to getting there- and it’s your body.

I want to be able to dance for an hour four days a week, or do a long yoga class after a run. Or walk up a flight of stairs without heart palpitations. My brain knows I *should* be able to do those things because I always used to. And my body vetos it. It’s incredibly frustrating

Enjoyable things - vacations, for example - are never as relaxing or as easy and fun as before. Because what if you have a flare? What if you lose your keds? What if the nearest hospital is 100 miles away and they know nothing about your history or condition?

Chronic symptoms make your life - even the very best parts of your life - negotiation with your body. You will never have another good day without the shadow of fear of a bad one in your mind. And it’s not a load you can put down. It is every day of your life. Harder.

So if you’re young and healthy and think you’ll “probably survive coronavirus” you’re right. You likely will live.
But the long term, possibly permanent chronic effects...believe me, on the worst days, you may not feel like you got the lucky end of the bargain.

Wear a mask. Stay at home. And don’t endanger others.