Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys
July 13th 1665
At my sending to desire it, Uber did call me with a coach, and carry me to look for Duke Cummings, that he did impugn the reputation of my Lady Truss by giving her a bollocking and all the world almost
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July 13th 1665
At my sending to desire it, Uber did call me with a coach, and carry me to look for Duke Cummings, that he did impugn the reputation of my Lady Truss by giving her a bollocking and all the world almost
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rings of it, so I am to deck him. Investigating his whereabouts like a PI, tunic collar turned up, cigar in hand and swigging a tankard of whisky and Pepto Bismol I am gratified to hear all the civil servants call me Private Dick, and following his trail of screwed up
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blog parchment, the hallmark of a staggering intellect so burdened with ideas he is unable to express any, at Thames edge I did find Duke Cummings howling at his reflection and did demand he defend himself against those that have a mind to choke him, namely me; that just
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because lovely Liz speaks that the ports or the Irish business might not be ready ere the Brextoration, or that the WTO could challenge our plan to sell Hornby M20 Lorry Park sets to Belize, and e’en that it should have been blatantly obvious to her that the people leading
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us off the White Cliffs are barely equipped to make toast, he has not the authority to be a dick, and not for honour but for his safety’s sake he did brick it, and wherein he appears to be ingenious, simply by telling idiots that he is, it is a growing apprehension on me
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that I’ve never seen any evidence of it above expectation; and, when all is done he is a shirke, who is still owing me 10l. from the last Laser Quest, and so I pushed him into the river. By and by I took a hackney and home, and so had my head combed. Munch Bunch, bed.
Many many thanks to @sophieplowden for unearthing this classical masterpiece. I didn't know I could look so dashing!
